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Our children don't owe us anything - we brought them into this world, and we have grown as individuals just by being parents.
Our children don’t owe us anything – we brought them into this world, and we have grown as individuals just by being parents.
My kids, now you are wondering what is she going to say that we haven’t heard already, isn’t it? May be, I still can whip-up something interesting you would like to hear. Why don’t you stay tuned for a bit… you might like what you are about to hear!
So if you are thinking I am going to start preaching about how high and mighty a mother is and how you are in debt for life because she gave you your life and brought you up with so much of struggle and sacrificed quite a bit to make you the person that you are today, then think again! It’s not about that at all…It’s quite the opposite actually.
First of all, you don’t owe me anything because I brought you into this world; I did it because I wanted to. I became a mother because of you! If you feel I had sacrificed some things in life, it’s because I wanted to, not because you wanted me to.
Sometimes, ok…quite a few times, you would have heard me saying those clichéd dialogues about motherhood and sacrifices and everything, but you have to excuse me here. I grew up listening to all these overrated statements personally and of course our Indian movies don’t leave a stone unturned in portraying the sacrificial mother’s martyrdom. And mind you, you are equally to blame, with some insensitive jibes of yours, for pushing me to saying those abominable phrases which I swore I won’t use when I became a mother. So there you have it, I didn’t really mean those when I said it. I was on autopilot…
If I am a good mom and a better person, it’s because of you. You are the reason I wanted to become a better mom. You constantly pushed me to be a better person, to shed my ego, to overcome my obsessive compulsiveness, to let go and live in the moment.
I also learnt a whole lot of rhymes, more than I ever learnt when I was a kid, then of course, also learnt so much about the Ben 10 avatars, transformers, avengers and what not. I would never have known about those cool new age artists and their beautiful songs which you introduced me to. Hell, I even learnt to put my smart phone and computer to better use from you.
Now that you are old enough, I have to confess that I do feel guilty for not pushing you enough to join those coaching centres and other courses that all your friends and classmates are rushing off to while you seem to be content not joining the bandwagon. But here is the truth, deep down I really do feel that you are better off for the time-being without the unnecessary baggage. I like the fact that you guys know what you want and do not try to be someone you are not at such young age; I am learning that from you too.
I started out as an unsure mother and learnt things along the way, along with you. So we grew up together, so as to speak. I learnt so much, for you, from you and because of you. I just hope that through all this I have guided you well to make sound decisions when the time is right. So, all I wish for, is not a guilt-ridden obligation from you but to be in your hearts forever, minus the guilt.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
A mother of two amazing kids and a teacher by profession, I have varied interests. Apart from being an avid reader, I dabble in gardening. My love for painting, cooking, travelling and jotting down my read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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