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Our children don't owe us anything - we brought them into this world, and we have grown as individuals just by being parents.
Our children don’t owe us anything – we brought them into this world, and we have grown as individuals just by being parents.
My kids, now you are wondering what is she going to say that we haven’t heard already, isn’t it? May be, I still can whip-up something interesting you would like to hear. Why don’t you stay tuned for a bit… you might like what you are about to hear!
So if you are thinking I am going to start preaching about how high and mighty a mother is and how you are in debt for life because she gave you your life and brought you up with so much of struggle and sacrificed quite a bit to make you the person that you are today, then think again! It’s not about that at all…It’s quite the opposite actually.
First of all, you don’t owe me anything because I brought you into this world; I did it because I wanted to. I became a mother because of you! If you feel I had sacrificed some things in life, it’s because I wanted to, not because you wanted me to.
Sometimes, ok…quite a few times, you would have heard me saying those clichéd dialogues about motherhood and sacrifices and everything, but you have to excuse me here. I grew up listening to all these overrated statements personally and of course our Indian movies don’t leave a stone unturned in portraying the sacrificial mother’s martyrdom. And mind you, you are equally to blame, with some insensitive jibes of yours, for pushing me to saying those abominable phrases which I swore I won’t use when I became a mother. So there you have it, I didn’t really mean those when I said it. I was on autopilot…
If I am a good mom and a better person, it’s because of you. You are the reason I wanted to become a better mom. You constantly pushed me to be a better person, to shed my ego, to overcome my obsessive compulsiveness, to let go and live in the moment.
I also learnt a whole lot of rhymes, more than I ever learnt when I was a kid, then of course, also learnt so much about the Ben 10 avatars, transformers, avengers and what not. I would never have known about those cool new age artists and their beautiful songs which you introduced me to. Hell, I even learnt to put my smart phone and computer to better use from you.
Now that you are old enough, I have to confess that I do feel guilty for not pushing you enough to join those coaching centres and other courses that all your friends and classmates are rushing off to while you seem to be content not joining the bandwagon. But here is the truth, deep down I really do feel that you are better off for the time-being without the unnecessary baggage. I like the fact that you guys know what you want and do not try to be someone you are not at such young age; I am learning that from you too.
I started out as an unsure mother and learnt things along the way, along with you. So we grew up together, so as to speak. I learnt so much, for you, from you and because of you. I just hope that through all this I have guided you well to make sound decisions when the time is right. So, all I wish for, is not a guilt-ridden obligation from you but to be in your hearts forever, minus the guilt.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
A mother of two amazing kids and a teacher by profession, I have varied interests. Apart from being an avid reader, I dabble in gardening. My love for painting, cooking, travelling and jotting down my read more...
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I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
Every daughter, no matter how old, yearns to come home to her parents' place - ‘Home’ to us is where we were brought up with great care till marriage served us an eviction notice.
Every year Dugga comes home with her children and stays with her parents for ten days. These ten days are filled with fun and festivity. On the tenth day, everyone gathers to feed her sweets and bids her a teary-eyed adieu. ‘Dugga’ is no one but our Goddess Durga whose annual trip to Earth is scheduled in Autumn. She might be a Goddess to all. But to us, she is the next-door girl who returns home to stay with her parents.
When I was a child, I would cry on the day of Dashami (immersion) and ask Ma, “Why can’t she come again?” My mother would always smile back.
I mouthed the same dialogue as a 23-year-old, who was home for Durga Puja. This time, my mother graced me with a reply. “Durga is fortunate to come home at least once. But many have never been home after marriage.”
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