Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
We had started from the scratch, without any luxuries. But, we had the comfort of each other and we were happy in our little bubble. We thought, we could survive anything.
Here is the second winner of our May 2017 Muse of the Month contest, Swarna Manjari Ayyalasomayajula.
The cue for this month was from the movie Frozen, in which Elsa realizes that she is alone, but she is alone and free to do whatever she wants!
We stood there facing each other with lightening streaks flashing in the sky. With gusts of wind whipping through the streets, and howling all around us. I could see, palm trees doubling over and swaying in a distance. All the signs of impending storm were evident. As per me, the emotional storm had abated, our relationship could not survive it.
I could see a myriad of emotions playing across his face. I could see his eyes pleading in anguish. No words left his mouth lest they fall short to convey his thoughts in their entirety. That is how we are. Ram and Sita never needed words to communicate or understand each other. We can read, even a subtle thought running in our minds and this was a torrent sweeping us apart.
I can see him thinking about everything that had landed us here. I couldn’t help but doing the same.
We first met in a hackneyed place, a common rendezvous point often crowded by hundreds of people. Yet, our gaze did not leave one another. Call it ‘love at first sight’, ‘attraction’ or any other, for me no name could justify our connection. We had decided to take you relationship further and give a chance to what we had going between us. We ended up marrying each other. No matter the circumstances, we promised to trust, respect and love each other.
Everything was going fine, until the first hard storm hit our lives.
He was exiled from his responsibilities. We were to start new, altogether. He had given me a choice- a steady life without him or an unsteady future with him. I laughed at his choices. Any option which is ‘without him’ was never a welcome choice for me, and any choice which is ‘with him’ would never be a difficult option for me to pick.
We had started from the scratch, without any luxuries. But, we had the comfort of each other and we were happy in our little bubble. We thought, we could survive anything. Reality, it seemed, did not lack a touch of irony!
Due to a foolish choice I made, we were forced to stay apart. Here, I was counting days to stay together again, there he was devising methods to reach out to me and eliminate the separation once and for all.
His inquiry into my life over these years had an undercurrent of suspicion. “Could distance break the trust on our beloved?” If so, I never knew until then. The ‘Promise to trust’ was broken.
Yet, with all the vows, I had returned to him. He was awarded with the responsibilities, that had been previously snatched away from him. We thought, life had returned to normal. We were ecstatic with news that we had conceived. We never knew that, it was just the lull before the storm!
Life had given him two choices- his responsibilities or me? And he had picked those responsibilities over me. I would never know, if his decision was deliberate or forced, because he never spoke of it. He had never respected me enough to explain his decision in person. Instead, he had opted a way of cowardice and left me without a word. The ‘Promise to respect’ was broken.
He left me in the middle of life with nothing, except for our love, our twins. I had survived. I had nurtured and raised them with all the love, for the past 10 years.
Now, we met again accidentally. His eyes were pleading me to reconcile. “Should I? Can I?”
You left me ALONE then, breaking the trust and respect. I am retuning our love to you, now. I am FREE, finally. Good Bye!
Again, no words were needed. Ram can understand Sita. I can proudly say, Ram only loved me. The sad truth is that, he didn’t love me enough to make me stay. With that, I walked away!
Swarna Manjari Ayyalasomayajula wins a Rs 250 Amazon voucher, as well as a chance to be picked one among the top winners at the end of 2017. Congratulations!
Image source: pixabay
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Such a beautiful retelling of a myth. Congrats !
Thank you so much!!
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