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Indian girls are conditioned to consider marriage a goal of life. Which is very wrong. Marriage can be a part of your life, but not everything you work towards!
From the start of your childhood, from the time you started to understand words, you have been told about fairy tales, a knight with a shining armour who saves the princess. How all that mattered in the story is her dress, fair and beautiful skin, hair and the humble soft spoken her. As you started to grow, you were always told to mind what you wore, not to show too much skin, and behave like a girl. Your teenage years came by and all that there was to them was to be back home before dark, preferably by 6 pm.
You studied so hard to get good grades, to stand out and yet all you were spoken to about is ‘Did you help your mom? Did you do some work at home?’
As you discovered about menstruation, things got stricter. Be careful, take care of your skin, of your hair. Many a relatives reminded you, how important it was to look good because soon you would have to get married, how else will a good guy marry you if you didn’t look beautiful?
You were 17 then, trying to figure what to study ahead. Some of your friends were no good too. That guy in your group who told you blatantly, why do you need to study, anyways you will marry a rich guy! It’s the guys who actually need to struggle. You were amused and angered but you said nothing.
You got a degree and landed a plush job. The celebration lasted only a few hours. As they congratulated you, they also inquired when you would get married.
Many said, that’s good you got a job, you proved you are smart. Now stay at home and learn to cook. After all marriage is what is needed to be done. It’s your husband’s job to earn money, your job to cook and maintain the home and children. You wondered then, where are these husband and children who everyone seems to be worried about. Then again they said cheerfully, you can work until we find you a guy. ‘Hey! We don’t mind if you have someone you like. Now all that matters is you get married’.
Were they right? You wonder.
NO. From a young age many girls like you are conditioned to think of marriage as the ultimate thing. The goal you work for all your life. THEY ARE WRONG. Your spirit awaits to be set free. Your wings await to break free. Your lungs await to feel the fresh air gush inside you. Your body awaits the adrenaline, the rush of excitement as you work your ass off to reach that goal. To make that achievement. I am a voice that whispers in your ear, every time you feel that you have to marry in the end. ‘No you don’t! Marriage is not a necessity and not a goal. It’s just a part of life and your decision to have it in your life or not!’
Like Oprah and Maya Angelou say, ‘You are enough!’ Period. There awaits a mountain to conquer, a company to run and millions of lives to be touched by your empathy, your intelligence and your hard work. You are not just made for marriage, don’t believe so. Just believe in you and the world will be yours.
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A dreamer, in love with books and travel. 🙂 A feminist who wishes there are more
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