20 Reasons Why I Refuse To Be A Part Of This Grand T20 IPL Tamasha

It might be the start of summer vacations for the man of my house but sadly at the same time, it’s the beginning of a hot and dry summer for me. I am talking about of course the yearly national spectacle – the T20 Indian Premier League (IPL).

The first time I opened my Facebook today, I was flooded with the various teams, the changes in the profile pictures, the ads, the news, the celebrity pictures and what not. I wanted to scream from the bottom of my stomach – guys, I care a damn about this. Yet, the hoopla and hype around this extravagant, flashy event is out there for all to see, in your face. It was greatly frustrating but unavoidable.

Firstly, let me get it clear – I absolutely don’t have anything against the IPL event as such. If people decide to make a circus out of cricket, throw in some parts of Bollywood, fashion, blonde chicks dancing to bhangra, celebrities and parties into it, spend humongous amounts of money, resources, water and energy to make it a success and again be foolish enough and waste their hard earned money and time on four hours of absolute madness every day, then it is their choice. Please go ahead.

It is when this hyper obsession with the event gets inside my house and interferes with its harmony and normal functioning that I have a problem. I, basically, could not understand the original motivation behind starting an interstate, completely commercial cricket tournament, when we already had the test matches, the numerous one day series, one day world cup, T20 world cup and what not. If there is a national match, I can at least have some loyalty to my country, cheer for it and enjoy the spirit. But what can I say about the vehemently cricket fanatical hubby who belongs to none of the 9-10 playing state teams and yet gets all excited and worked up just watching an average match between two abysmal teams?

The die-hard cricket fan he is – he argues that it’s cricket as sport which he enjoys. The style, the craft and the talent. What bullshit? Any paanchvi paas person can tell that there is nothing other than ‘tamasha’ in it. So apart from the obvious, here below are some of the very irritating and unfortunately true reasons why I have a problem with getting involved in this entire IPL frenzy.

• It is not a sport anymore – for god’s sake. It is just a big blown out ‘tamasha’.
• It makes the men of my house (father-in-law, brother-in-law, nephews, uncles etc) forget that they have a family.
• The dancing girls are not about beauty.
• It makes the veterans of cricket like Sunil Gavaskar and Kapil Dev stoop so low as to dance to Bhangra.
• The female commentators miserably fail to impress with their knowledge about the cricket ball
• It briefly blocks all the sounds, signals, instructions and even some oxygen going to my husband’s mind (especially during the last couple of overs)
• There is no access to soap operas, films, music, news in the evening for two long months (honestly, two months?!)
• The days are spent in a hangover after last night’s match.
• Meaningful conversations and communication with the men in my home goes into hibernation.
• Weekends, holidays, festivals, birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions are non-existent.
• It is one of the silliest reason to get drunk.
• The constant shouting and buzzing sound of the audience makes it impossible to think.
• Some of the most good looking, sexy and appealing cricketers are reduced to looking like mere jokers. What happened to the rugged and dignified charm of MSD?
• The living room is converted into a mix of bedroom plus dining plus cricket ground.
• It makes a cricket expert out of the dhobi, the cook, the driver, the milk man, the roadside pani puri vendor and everyone else who is so damn sure about his own analysis of the situation.
• The theme music and songs are all disgusting. Dil jumping jhapak jumpak jumped! Pulleeeez.
• It’s an unwritten rule that the routine household chores, shopping, cleaning has to be done by – of course moi!
• It’s not a cricket ground – it resembles a collage of sponsors’ logos and brands
• The opening ceremonies are worse than any C grade circus
• Finally, it is definitely not passion or excitement for the sport, it is pure hysteria without a valid cause and reason.

Has your home been taken over by IPL fever too? Share!

Top image via Pixabay

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