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Becoming a mom changes so many things in a woman's life that she learns many new things about herself. A personal account.
Becoming a mom changes so many things in a woman’s life that she learns many new things about herself. A personal account.
Ever since the day I conceived to the day that I pushed out a human, I have fallen slowly in love with myself.
Fallen in love mostly because I have seen the carefree girl struggle and transform gradually into a woman nurturing a life; meeting all the challenges that life threw her way, with a brave smile. The whole process of being pregnant to giving birth has made me see myself in a new light. Motherhood is a life transforming process and there are many things that it etches permanently in a woman’s soul.
What has motherhood taught me?
Post pregnancy I have realised that I can persevere and I can endure; and when I reach my limit, I can persevere and endure a little more! Pregnancy and motherhood throws to a woman challenges that a girl is never prepared for. The enormous physical changes, the emotional roller coaster ride or a month of seemingly overwhelming new responsibilities and postpartum depression seem nerve wrecking at weak moments. But I have been through all, and have come out of it stronger. I faltered but never broke down.
This experience has taught me that I am indomitable.
What does it feel to know that I am so strong you may ask?
Well, I feel empowered! Empowered like I have never felt before.
I have always doubted the ‘others before self’ theory. This somehow did not ring in with my philosophy. Call me selfish, yes I am. Motherhood has proved to me that I have been right all along. Nothing is more important than a person’s own self.
The responsibility and demands of carrying a baby and then taking the responsibility of one is great. But a woman can meet these demands only if her own demands are first met. I have realised that one can nourish others only if one’s own self is nourished. One can make others happy only if one is happy.
At the end of the day, you can give only what you have!
An unhappy mother can never raise happy, healthy children. If a woman strives in all her correct senses to be the ‘epitome of the self-less Indian woman that is idolised as the penultimate perfection of womanhood’ then she will be left depleted. CHRONICALLY DEPLETED!
A woman needs to pamper herself, to have fun and to love herself. A chronically depleted woman can never make a happy home.
So women, prioritise yourselves.
A woman gets a lot of support as she moves through her pregnancy to motherhood. This support feels wonderful but what I realised is that no matter the amount of support, it is always a woman’s own battle, her own victory.
There have been times when I realised that it is ME and only ME who has control. This is true for everything in life! The battle is always yours, the struggle is always yours and so is the much deserved victory. This realisation made me understand that I am complete in myself. What I need to get through in life is mostly MYSELF and my well-being.
A woman does not need anything outside herself to make her complete. She is complete in herself.
Having observed myself, my struggles, victories, my perseverance through the prism of pregnancy and motherhood I have realised that I as a woman deserve all the good things in life. A woman is so valuable that she should never agree on a situation that has no love for her, walk away from people who do not respect her or treat her with dignity and should never settle on something that does not give her happiness.
Women settle for much less than what they deserve. She so readily settles for the second best. Always the one to step back. There is no reason for her to do so. People glorify self-sacrificing women but not all glory is self-preserving or self-uplifting.
Life has always communicated to me but what opened my eyes to these lessons is motherhood. It is the most empowering experience of a woman’s life. An experience that holds a mirror to a woman’s blazing indomitable persona. A persona that every woman has but is always covered with the dust of societal norms, narrow mindedness and a lack of self-worth.
So women, dust yourselves and let that persona shine through you. You are worth all the good things your heart desire.
Image source: pixabay
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A Social Media Content Writer by profession. A writer by heart. A genuine foodie. Simple by nature. Love to read, create paintings and cook. Have impossible dreams. At the moment, engaged in making those dreams read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: