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We are still a patriarchal society, but there are distinct signs of change that can be seen in small actions of the people around us.
“Mom, I will be Geeta Phogat and I will beat you in the game.”
These words were spoken by my five year old son while we were play-acting some wrestling. Yes, that was said by my ‘son’. I felt so overwhelmed at the thought that finally the change has come, where girls are inspiring boys with their success and strength to be like them.
It was a week ago that I along with husband and my son went to watch the movie, ‘Dangal‘. Movies have always been an effective and popular medium to reach masses. I am so very thankful to Aamir Khan, that he used this medium to convey a story of grit, determination and dream of a father who defiantly says that, “Mahri choriyan ke choro se kam hai ke?” The faith, belief and determination of the daughters make the dream come true. Also, it breaks the stereotype thinking about girl’s capabilities.
Another incident that again gave me a ray of hope happened at the toy shop. My son wanted me to buy him a toy. As he was engrossed in choosing a toy for himself, I was trying to talk him into buying something useful instead of any fancy stuff.
Suddenly my eyes caught the sight of a cute play set. It had a set of nice small cup and saucer and a kettle. As I asked the lady shop owner about it’s price, she replied in a stereotypical manner, “Arey madam, yeh toh ladkiyon ke khilone hai. Aap kya ladke ke liye yeh lenge?” (Madam, these are girl’s toys. Are you going to buy those for you boy?) Before I could reply, I heard a voice from a burqua clad lady, “Aisa kuch nahi hota. Ladke bhi khel sakte hain. Kyu kya ladke apne liye chai bana kar nahi peeyenge kya?” (There is nothing like that. Boys can also play with it. Will a boy will never make a cup of tea for himself?)
The conversation ended there. My boy chose a Spiderman doll. But I felt very confident that even as we still see crime and injustice towards women, but there are signs of change.
I often read quotes these days that we should raise our boys in such a way that they respect the female fraternity. I strongly feel that the best thing that we can teach our boys is humanism. They should not learn to think of women in a stereotypical way; rather, they should respect them as a human first. Every human being needs some rights and dignity for a healthy existence. The day everyone one of us treats each other as a human being worthy of respect, many of the gender related issues will be dissolved.
One of my well educated friend who is a mother of two well mannered boys, shared her fear with me. She confessed that she never left her boys alone at home till crossing the age of fifteen. Her reasoning was whether girl or boy, the times are such that any one can be a victim of molestation or graver crime. Its the need of the hour that our children, be girls or boy should be taught about respecting the fundamental dignity of other human beings. They should be taught to accept rejection at times.
When we start making norms and rules on basis of humanity and not gender, equality in real sense shall prevail. Mother nature has made males and females with a difference, both physically and emotionally. This difference when accepted and not abused will give women kind a balanced existence. I often hear people say that, one should not talk aggressively with women or use verbal or physical abuse. That’s all good, but does that mean that it is OK if the male fraternity is abused or faces violence? Men or Women, both have a right to dignified life.
The time has come that gender equality should mean that every human being deserves a fair chance to live in this world. Women have the strength to carry a child and give birth. But to bear a child she needs her male counterpart. Nature itself has given us a lesson that both are important entities of social structure independently as well as co-dependently. On one hand while we are still facing issues like female foeticide, there are examples like the Phogat sisters and many other strong women in different fields who continue to inspire and carve niches for women kind. I see the change when my son is inspired by a girl. These changes may appear very tiny, but are significant as they are going to make the change in attitude and future social balance.
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I am a law graduate, but right now enjoying being home maker and a doting mom to my five year old son. I like to write, expressions through words as words in itself are soul read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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