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Wondering why your usually talkative daughter remains quiet? A young woman shares her thoughts, since she can understand that depressed teen girl.
Wondering why your usually talkative daughter remains quiet for most of the time? A young woman shares her thoughts, through an open letter which might help your depressed teen girl.
Dear You,
The toil of time and the inevitability of nature have moulded your baby-girl into a budding young woman. As your girl goes through this metamorphosis, her journey of discovering herself begins.
For the first time she realizes that life, after all, isn’t a bed of roses. Her emotions run through her veins and display an intense urge to break free. She isn’t yet accustomed to this world and hence, finds herself in a curious plight. Minor issues are Gordian knots for her and they are capable of leaving her in quandary.
This is the time she experiences her ‘firsts’- first physical changes, first emotional dilemmas and of course, first love! Hit by Cupid’s arrows, as she wraps herself in luminous passion, destiny executes its customary ploy.
Unrequited love or a failed relationship engulfs her in frustration and insurmountable hopelessness immersing her in acute depression.
As much as it’s easy to fall in love, it’s equally difficult to confront a heart-break. Moreover, ‘firsts’ always hurt the most and leave a scar as deep as a crevasse. With this heart-break your girl feels like her world is slowly dismantling. The sporadic pestering of her mind finally convinces her that she has no reason to exist. Not anymore.
This might fail to make sense to you but her age and circumstances makes her depression justified. Amidst threatening solitude, she keeps all to herself. Whom shall she share all her feelings and perceptions with?
She knows that you love her but she doesn’t want to bother you with her issues. Few days back you told her that she is a grown up now. Isn’t it a shame if she still requires your help? Her friends might make fun of her by calling names if they get to know. And even if she shares all her feelings with you, will you be able to understand her? Won’t you judge her and impose your perceptions upon her?
After all, you both are not friends who share a particular generation and even certain similar circumstances. So, how about sprinkling a dash of friendship in the relationship you share with your daughter?
Tragedies do not warn you before their advent but you can certainly circumvent it by holding your daughter’s hand at the dawn of her teenage. If you succeed in being her best friend, then she will introduce you to her dark and deep secrets. You can guide her and even pull her out of her miseries. Instead of treating issues like sex, menstruation and relationships as a social anathema and taboo, speak to her frankly and also hear out how she perceives them.
If your thoughts do not chime well with her and you think that her perceptions aren’t what it should have been, then teach her the do’s and don’ts. However, teaching doesn’t imply forcing your inflexible views on her. Put forth your views and see how she reacts to it, if she doesn’t take it positively then justify your opinion to her.
You are the one who can tread her through the paths that life has in store for her. You are the one she leans on for support. Hence, guiding the apple of your eye out of her emotional traumas and emptiness isn’t that tough for you. In the process all of you will get to know all of her.
All it requires are the correct steps and attitudes with a vibrant tint of empathy. Do give it a thought!
With love.
From someone.
Image of young girl via Shutterstock
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Children should be taught to aspire to be successful, but success doesn't have to mean an IIT admission only!
Imagine studying for 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 whole years for the JEE exam only to find out that there’s only a very, very slim chance of getting into an IIT. It is a fact widely acknowledged that the IIT-JEE is one of the toughest exams not just in India but in the whole world. Apart from IITs, the NITs and IIITs of India also accept the JEE scores for admission. There are said to be a total of 23 IITs, 31 NITs and 25 IIITs across the country.
Now, let’s first get a few facts about the IITs right. First, according to the NIRF rankings of 2023, only 17 IITs rank in the top 50 engineering colleges of India and only a few (around 5) IITs are in the list of the world’s top 100 engineering colleges. Second, the dropout rate of IIT-qualifying students stands at least at 20%, with reasons being cited ranging from academic pressure and unmanageable workload to caste discrimination and high levels of competition within the IIT.
So, it’s quite clear that the journey of making it through IIT is as challenging as the journey of getting into an IIT. Third and most important of all, the acceptance rate or the odds of getting into an IIT are below 3% which is a lot lower than the acceptance rate of highly and very highly ranked US universities. Four, getting into an IIT of one’s choice doesn’t mean one will also get into a branch of one’s preference at that IIT.
Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia.
It is amazing when a person turns personal adversity into a calling, and extends empathy to make a significant impact in the lives of other people. This has been the life’s journey of Dr Nalini Parthasarathi.
April 17 is World Hemophilia Day. Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia. She was honoured with the Padma Shri in 2023.
Hemophilia is a condition where one or more clotting factor is absent leading to bleeding. Severe cases can be life-threatening.
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