Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Will men feel a check if they are made aware of the trauma of molestation by the women they love, and stop them from molesting any other women?
Yesterday while, talking with a very close friend (a guy), we started discussing about the kind of problems a girl has to face while travelling by public transport. I was telling him the things a girl has to go through. Most of these things happen when they are at a young age; someone groping them, touching them indecently – at times the girls are so young that they do not even understand what is happening with them.
The trauma a girl goes through, crying for hours after such an incident. And every girl probably has faced god knows how many such ugly incidents.
Once I started earning I gave up travelling in buses completely. Now, I do not even remember when was the last time I travelled in a crowded bus. And the only reason being the behavior and actions of co-passengers.
While discussing all this with him, I suddenly realized that I have hardly ever discussed these matters with any guys. Not even my father, my brothers or any boyfriend, just my husband. And then it got me thinking.
Maybe we girls should discuss this kind of incidents with our fathers, brothers, boyfriends. Narrate the incident, tell them about the pain, the trauma, the humiliation we feel without it being our fault. We should make the men in our lives aware of what we go through almost every day of our lives going to school, college, or office.
Every guy who touches a girl indecently is someone’s brother, father, boyfriend, husband. Maybe if they hear of their own sister, daughter, wife, whom they love, facing such incidents and seeing their pain first hand, maybe something will change. Maybe the next time they think of touching someone else they will remember the pain faced by their loved ones, and think twice before doing it.
Society cannot change unless we change ourselves first. Instead of quietly suffering, we should raise our voice, right when the incident is happening and also after reaching home. Share your pain with the men / boys who love you, care about you. It might help to change someone and make them protective of another girl who is their co-passenger.
Published earlier here.
Image source: local trains crowd by Shutterstock.
A voracious reader, a writer, a poet, a die-hard romantic, a dream enthusiast, a single mom. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address