Anupama writes a letter to her 18-years old daughter. Read what she has to say.
New Year Resolutions for women can be an important part of loving oneself fully, rather than just living up to societal expectations.
It’s that time of the year. This is when almost everyone creates resolutions and to-do lists. It has almost become a sort of a social norm in the past few decades. Unfortunately, there is often a negative attitude attached to this phenomenon since it fuels feelings of guilt and inadequacy that arise due to many reasons.
One of them is the fact that a lot of people feel that they do not posses certain things that typically define luxury and happiness in the society or they haven’t worked hard enough for them. There is also the constant pressure and comparison with the media representation of what ‘Success’ should look like. Thus, people inevitably end up being exhausted with these ideas and expectations and defaulting on the resolutions within the first few weeks of the year.
There is a dire need to change the way we look at the concept of self improvement through these resolutions and lists. The self love journey should lead us towards the path of true empowerment where we can accept and love our true selves and not define our worth with respect to artificial parameters created by society. Anything that we do from this day onwards should create an environment of acceptance and love that is sustainable throughout the next 365 days and beyond!
It is also particularly important for women to develop a feminist self love routine. This will help in consciousness and awareness building with respect to the harmful images in the media regarding women’s bodies and gender related norms. Gender is a social construct that has very real implications on women’s lives in the society. They are judged based on unrealistic expectations and the tailor made resolutions for the modern day women that can be found on many ‘women’s websites’ are often reflective of these ideas.
Women are expected to be martyrs and every act of theirs is supposed to be for the betterment of their partners and/or family members. But,there is nothing in this world that should hold anyone back from being a self actualized individual. The following are some tips that can help us women make this year truly empowering.
It is not natural for women to unconditionally love and accept their own bodies. This is because our minds have been conditioned to criticize and compare ourselves with unrealistic and airbrushed images of models and celebrities in magazines, television, movies etc.
Nowadays, women are also expected to watch their figure. This has a troubling gendered implication. It is a social expectation from females that they need to occupy less space in society than males. This is reflected with respect to how women project their ideas and voices as well as with their physical bodies.
…the latest trend in society, ‘Size Zero’, literally means a size that measures nothing, thus, shrinking down women’s bodies and personalities to the minimum
In fact, the latest trend in the society, ‘Size Zero’, literally means a size that measures nothing, thus, shrinking down women’s bodies and personalities to the minimum. Instead of this,women need to be taught that beauty is actually strategic imperfection. It is subjective and it therefore would be foolish to blindly follow a societal standard as that will eventually lead to erasure of the uniqueness and individuality of women.
Only after examining these problematic ideas and assumptions can women truly build a healthy routine that comes from a space of non-judgemental love and acceptance for oneself. The exercises will now be more joyful and the complicated relationship that women share with their food can be replaced with consuming things that are healthy and full of nutritional value.
Apart from this, women also need to rely more on non-intrusive therapy and traditional knowledge. Western bio medicine and pharmaceutical companies do not really care about people’s health and lack a holistic idea of what constitutes healing. The medicines are often accompanied with long lasting side effects on people’s bodies and reduced immunity systems. It is therefore important for women to do a bit of a research on the local indigenous practices that can work wonders for them.
It is important for people to disconnect from technology and the incessant information overload. Instead, it can help to find some meaningful exercise that is not only engaging but also fuels our creative imagination. It is not enough to simply while away your days but important to enjoy your life as much as you can! Learning something new keeps the mind busy and increases confidence in our abilities. It also helps to create feelings of self sufficiency and independence in women.
In a patriarchal society, women are often denied power, authority and respect and they derive these things through their relationship with men. Thus, the feelings of jealousy, competition and hatred towards other women follows. It is therefore necessary for women to reach out and form solidarity with each other across caste, class, race or nations.
This year, we can challenge our thinking and explore new perspectives that can help in our self love journey. One of the ways to do this is by checking one’s own perceptions of gender based norms and roles while talking to or about other women. Another idea could be to create an all woman’s club and critically inspect the media images women consume on a weekly basis and suggest to each other other positive and non-mainstream sources of entertainment and information. Having lots of fun while challenging stereotypes is a great way to form strong emotional connection with people!
Last but not the least, having compassion for oneself is important. Trying to pick up and build on the ruins of the past always helps. Life often moves ahead through back stories. It is also necessary to learn from one’s mistakes. Only then can this beautiful journey be truly successful. As women learn to love their little quirks and habits unconditionally, they will find themselves more at peace with the things that happen around them.
As women learn to love their little quirks and habits unconditionally, they will find themselves more at peace with the things that happen around them.
It has also been scientifically proven that Gratitude works wonders for people’s health and minds. Creating a Gratitude journal to jot down things to be grateful for always helps.These thoughts can help people to program and train their minds to look for the positive things in life.
Women are a valuable part of the society and humanity in general. Each of their ideas, thoughts, feelings and emotions matter. Thus, how they look at their personalized and well planned life goals or New Year resolutions matters much more than generic lists that often fail to connect with them in the long run.
An engineer. Has worked in the IT industry for a while and then decided to
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