Anupama writes a letter to her 18-years old daughter. Read what she has to say.
India’s record with rapes is more than shameful. Here are some pertinent questions about why we tolerate rape and gender violence.
My day begins with reading the newspaper, and what totally disgusts me is the various sexual crimes against women – ranging from rape to molestation (age differs in each case). From all parts of India, we have reports of rapes, which are getting more barbaric & horrifying with time. With even cops jumping into this act; can things get more worse?
The Nirbhaya rape case shook me, and the entire country. I couldn’t even imagine the brutality she underwent. Her death was something I can never forget. I cried my heart out on her death, as all other Indians did. Yes, we do project our outrage by having candlelight marches. But that goes on as long as the story is on the front page. Then, we shift our focus to other things. Eventually, we forget.
But alas, no lessons were learnt. Rapes are only getting more horrifying. Who is to be blamed? It looks like India is suffering from a rape epidemic.
Why do men rape? This is one answer that eludes me, and I’m sure all of womankind as well. Is it lust or just a show of strength that they are superior? or can they not take rejection? Do they feel remorse after the act? Do they feel for the victims’ agony?
To make matters worse, we have police who first refuse to file an FIR as it would reflect on police station crime statistics and then go on to ask the victim insensitive /uncomfortable questions, further traumatising the victim.
Who is to be blamed? Does the onus lie with women’s dressing sense /her right to reject their advances / her going out late at night?
Why can’t we tell young boys that touching a woman inappropriately is wrong? Why do we as women need to dress so as to not attract unwanted attention which can arouse sick feelings in men? Why can’t we dress the way we want to and go wherever we want to and which ever time of the day we want to?
To make matters worse, we have great politicians who always blame women and side with men: “men will be men “, “men make mistakes”. Unless the mindset of such people changes, rapes will continue. Anti-rape laws are more in favour of the accused than serve to rehabilitate the victim, or reform the rapist. Do anti-rape laws have anything to offer the victim/survivor?
We live in a country where the victim is harassed and the accused roams scot free. Let’s stop the blame game.
Rape is an act committed by men who treat women as sex object to satisfy their lust or ego, it happens in each strata of society right from slums to the elite society. Many rapes are committed by people who are close to us – friends ,relatives, just about anyone. Sadly, most of such cases are skeletons in closets, due to family honour.
Let’s start respecting our this as our right – It’s my body, I have the right to refuse to let anyone touch my body.
Let’s teach men/boys in our families to respect women.
“Rape is not end of the world “as the Shakti mills rape victim said, and I agree with her. We as a society need to understand this, and help the victim to move ahead in life and live normally, although it’s easier said than done. The rapist should be made to feel shameful for the crime he has committed rather than the victim.
We need to change the mindset of men as well as women as a society.Goddess Durga is worshipped on one hand and on the other we, the women, are crushed. What an irony!
Let’s bring the change within ourself and start within our family first. Not an easy task but not impossible, too. Sex education is a need of the hour. Let’s educate men /boys that outraging the modesty of women is a crime and an unbailable offence.
Can we have such laws wherein the next time a man attempts to rape someone, he would shudder at the very thought of its consequences?
Let’s unleash the Goddess Durga within us And destroy the devil. This rape epidemic has to be stopped.
I’m hoping and wishing for a new sensitive India where rape will be unheard of .
Pic credit: HowardIgnatius (Used under a CC license)
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This viral infection needs to be discarded from the universe. Women need to arm themselves with (weapons) knives, chilli powder. Any men who come close to the lady/women should use the weapons and safe guard one self. Anyhow Justice is blind, women should unit to make use of this opportunity. As the saying goes ‘Don’t believe a male cat’, to safe guard ourselves we need to use the weapons.
True that Chhaya .. Guess safety lies in our own hands
The number of rape cases that have taken place in Bangalore is alarming. You’ve rightly pointed out that this is an epidemic and only stringent laws, education and awareness can bring a change.
It’s the same all over India .. Hope it ends
Hi Sameera, It is obvious that you have written it from your heart. I think whatever you have said is an echo of the voices of many women. But the problem is we do not take continuous action against this epidemic. We have to start essentially from our home. Every woman and men, who care for women should do it. We should tell in words and deeds that, as parents it is the responsibility of every mother and father to tell their son(s) to not touch or harass a girl or woman in anyway. I find many parents think it is ‘cool’ and ‘being friendly’ if they allow the sons to stare at the girls.Will they allow the daughters to do the same for the same reason? We can be friendly but we should also teach them the implications for every action. So let us start telling whichever male friend or relative we meet, to understand that we do not require ‘that’ extra attention.
Totally agree Harshini.. N as mentioned in my blog we must teach them to respect women .. We don’t want this kinda attention
Sameera, i just love your article……it echoes my sentiments….why can’t parents teach their sons to respect women?….I would like to add one more thing….Positive changes are not taking place because everybody leaves to time to change the mindset…..We, as women have to take the initiative and be united in our efforts and not just stay aloof by adopting ‘How does it affect me?’, ‘ What will I get in return?’ attitude.Also our education reinforces societal stereotypes rather than challenging them. There was this question in examination…’.Lawyers marry only fair girls……’ Such type of questions reflect the mindset of examiner…Why can’t he frame a question like..’Lawyers marry only educated girls’ or something like that.
I have recently launched an online petition for gender awareness…..The bleak support I am getting for it reflects the society’s attitude towards women. Sadly, men, rather than women, have been much more supportive of my campaign….If this is the situation then even God can’t redress our grievances..rather our position will only worsen in times to come…So, all women please wake up before our entire community is raped.
Thanx for appreciatin my blog ashita .. Agree women mindset too needs a change .. We too are equally responsible . Guess fairness has somethin to do with our Indian mentality .. Fair is beautiful .,
Surprised men are supportive of ur campaign and women aren’t Things need to change We as a society need to be together it’s a collective effort All the best for our campaign
In case someone is tempted to trot out the excuse “Countries like Sweden have higher rape stats than India!” http://www.bhagwad.com/blog/2015/politics/officially-nirbhaya-was-not-raped-bullshit-official-statistics.html/
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