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Almost all of us have some cases where we end up setting one standard for ourselves and another for others. What is your double standard?
Almost all of us have some cases where we end up setting one standard for ourselves and another for everyone else. What is your double standard and why do you think it exists?
It was a special dinner for a very special occasion. We opened the menu with great anticipation and my husband ordered the lamb. It had been a long time and he was looking forward to this dish.
“Sorry Sir, we cannot offer you Roast Lamb tonight.”
We were aghast. Not offer? What did he mean? How was that possible?
“The chef was not happy with the cuts he received today and will be happy to serve you chicken instead.”
He enjoyed the chicken but the lack of lamb was a sore point for the entire evening. Surely lamb is not something that need be imported. Why can they not stock it? Pune is a big enough city and they should have stocked the meat. We grumbled for a long time; made sure to put it in the restaurant’s feedback form, write about it on an e-review…
Contrast this with the situation just a few weeks ago when we were on a holiday in Pondicherry. Almost all the restaurants that we visited in the old town offered only specific food items on any day irrespective of the contents of the printed menu. This was based on the ‘catch’ of the day (for sea food) and seasonal vegetables. During our stay, shell-fish was not available due to a storm in the Bay of Bengal which affected fishermen. That meant, no shrimp. No lobster. No prawns.
And we did not complain. We very easily accepted their practise of serving only the freshest seasonal produce and not using stuff from the deep freezer.
Why this change of heart in Pune? Was it because we were tourists in Pondicherry and hence followed their norms. Suddenly we were all struck by this difference in our own attitudes…. Different standards in different cities…
Yet knowingly or unknowingly we (this includes many people living in my city) do this all the time.
We crave for our married daughters to stay some extra time with us yet grudge the same to our daughters-in-law. Delaying marriage till the 30s is acceptable for girls in general except our own, whom we want to get ‘married off’ as soon as possible. We easily follow traffic rules when overseas (even something as basic as using the zebra crossing) but simply ignore them at home We crib and complain about corruption, price rise, poor administration and so on yet go off on a holiday on Poll days saying ‘anyway it doesn’t make a difference’ We are conscious about cleanliness and hygiene and keep our homes spotlessly clean, only to throw the garbage out on the road. Segregation and composting are ideal topics only for drawing-room chats.
These are just some instances that easily come to my mind. There will be many more, I am sure you may have experienced many as well.
Why do we behave in this manner? Why are some things acceptable at some times and for others but not for us? Do we take the easy way out? Do we shirk responsibility? Has this trait become a way of life? What do you think?
Pic credit: Ionics (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Archana is a physiotherapist, fitness enthusiast, amateur field botanist and nurtures a few bonsai. Happiest on a road less traveled. read more...
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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