By Anita Iyer Narayan

There is a thin line between stupidity and insensitivity. I think I crossed it the day I said, “I have to go, it is getting dark outside” to the child I was reading to, at the Blind School in Delhi. “What is ‘dark’?” He asked very casually. This question has stayed with me for longer than I can remember. It haunts me still. I had tried to explain that I meant ‘late’, but I had meant ‘dark’, hadn’t I? What is ‘dark’? And why did it scare me more than it did him?

Somehow, it is really not about having special places for special people. That would be racism of a sort, wouldn’t it? It is about being able to share the whole world with them. [...]]]> EKansh, Pune is working towards the inclusion of People with Disabilities – something that needs awareness, acceptance and sensitivity from all of us.

By Anita Iyer Narayan

There is a thin line between stupidity and insensitivity. I think I crossed it the day I said, “I have to go, it is getting dark outside” to the child I was reading to, at the Blind School in Delhi. “What is ‘dark’?” He asked very casually. This question has stayed with me for longer than I can remember. It haunts me still. I had tried to explain that I meant ‘late’, but I had meant ‘dark’, hadn’t I? What is ‘dark’? And why did it scare me more than it did him?

Somehow, it is really not about having special places for special people. That would be racism of a sort, wouldn’t it? It is about being able to share the whole world with them. They have as much right to it as we do. Yet we decide what is best for them because we refuse to tap our hearts and intellect for ways to deal with their needs. We refuse to learn the languages they speak. Instead we try and come up with devices to make them as much like us as possible. We would do well to introduce Braille and sign language as optional subjects in school. We could have interactive workshops in schools and colleges where special children mingle with ‘normal’ children. But we’d rather skim the surface and do what we can, comfortably. I call us emotionally handicapped.

There is a world on the other side of the mirror but we prefer not to look. Perfect images, made to order, please our eyes so much more that we force parents of special children to sweep entire entities under the carpet with our insensitivity. We almost never see these children at malls and cinemas and birthday parties and parks. Why? I know they enjoy everything ‘normal’ children do, maybe differently, but definitely as much. Why do parents of these very special children rather they live in isolation or confinement than bring them out to face the world? What do these people fear?

Us.

And that, I think, is a shame.

The genesis of EKansh

I am Anita Iyer Narayan, Founder and Managing Trustee of EKansh Trust, Pune. We have, in the past few years, managed to touch several minds and mindsets in the effort to facilitate mainstreaming of People with Disabilities (PwD) via our seminar, job fair, workshops, lectures, calendars and other such tools.

Programs at EKansh

When I moved from Gurgaon to Pune, I was looking for something meaningful to do. So, I did the usual circuit of NGOs to see if I fit in anywhere and found that most required fluency in Marathi, and in spite of a Bombay upbringing, I am not extremely fluent in spoken Marathi – Chimanrao, GundyaBhau and Dhituklya* not withstanding.

Then I set about trying to understand the world of the Deaf…how do they cope without language? What is Sign Language? I remembered seeing a group of men signing and laughing out loud outside King’s Circle Garden as a child and wondering how they managed to communicate so much without saying anything at all. Amazing it was…and so I conducted a couple of sensitization programs for the hearing with a team of instructors and interpreters in the Indian Sign Language from Mumbai.

Can you believe that Indian Sign Language is not recognized as a proper language in India yet? There is no standardization though one visit to a school for the hearing impaired will reveal that all the kids there can sign fluently. They are dissuaded from signing so that they can fit into mainstream society; sometimes even punished for trying to communicate with their hands. Our weekend introductory sessions to Indian Sign Language aim at letting Hearing People get a peek at this silent world.

From information to inclusion

EKansh was supposed to remain a repository of information and carry links to all news and organizations that had anything to do with disabilities. It was also supposed to be a place for families of PwD to chat and find support. Suddenly the website decided to step out of the screen when I saw kids learning Karate in my society and I read up about how it can help children with disabilities. Our first event was a Karate Workshop for special children. However, the response was tepid to say the least and I put that idea on hold.

And then something terrible happened. My maternal grandmother took seriously ill. She would throw up blood through her mouth and nose – she had what was called fundal varices, the result of the steroids and other drugs she had taken for her chronic asthma. During one of her bouts, we had to call the ambulance and when it arrived, the wheelchair wouldn’t fit into the building elevator with an attendant! She had to be brought down three floors on a makeshift stretcher in full view of other residents in the building. The absolute disregard for the dignity of an elderly human being on the part of those who designed and constructed the building was appalling! What if someone died on the top floor and went into rigor mortis before the family came? What would be the weight of the body? How would they bring it down? Where is the respect?

So I got together a team and organized a competition for students of architecture in Barrier Free Design. I thought it would be best to sensitize them at an early stage. The prize giving ceremony was followed by two days of sensitization about different disabilities and issues. Since then, EKansh has not looked back.

Today, our ‘repertoire’ includes Weekend Sign Language Workshops for the hearing, lectures and workshops for students and teachers of architecture in Barrier Free Design, awareness sessions and material for slum and rural dwellers on disability prevention, detection and early intervention, job fairs for People with Disabilities, general disability awareness sessions for corporates, clubs and training in soft and work skills for People with Disabilities. Our aim is to ensure that awareness, acceptance and sensitivity come before inclusion, as we believe that inclusion via policies and laws will only be superficial.

The journey is long and winding and support is always welcome. We welcome all contributions – of time, effort and funds. Our website address is www.ekansh.org and you are welcome to contact me at info@ekansh.org.

* Popular characters from Marathi television programs

By Pranaadhika Sinha

Child sexual abuse [CSA] by definition refers to the emotional, physical, psychological and sexual manipulation of a child, for the purpose of gratification of an older individual or adult.

In 2007, a much-awaited report on child abuse in India was published by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, which brought to light some horrifying statistics on the state of the country’s children. Through interviews with 12447 respondents aged between 5-18 years and 18-24 years, the following facts emerged, which served to dispel many common assumptions about sexual abuse and its short and long-term impact on the survivor.

Myth 1: Children are not sexually abused in India

Fact: 53.22% of the child respondents reported having being sexually abused, of which 21.90% faced severe forms of abuse, while 50.76% reported other [...]]]> Child sexual abuse is rarely discussed openly in India and is still shrouded by many myths. This article busts some of them.

By Pranaadhika Sinha

Child sexual abuse [CSA] by definition refers to the emotional, physical, psychological and sexual manipulation of a child, for the purpose of gratification of an older individual or adult.

In 2007, a much-awaited report on child abuse in India was published by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, which brought to light some horrifying statistics on the state of the country’s children. Through interviews with 12447 respondents aged between 5-18 years and 18-24 years, the following facts emerged, which served to dispel many common assumptions about sexual abuse and its short and long-term impact on the survivor.

Myth 1: Children are not sexually abused in India

Fact: 53.22% of the child respondents reported having being sexually abused, of which 21.90% faced severe forms of abuse, while 50.76% reported other forms of sexual abuse. Children in Andhra Pradesh, Assam, Bihar and Delhi reported the highest percentage of abuse, among both girls as well as boys.

Myth 2: Children are sexually abused by strangers

Fact: 50% of the children reported that they were abused by someone they knew, who was in a position of trust and responsibility, thus bringing to light the reality of incest (which refers to sexual abuse by a family member) or abuse by someone who is trusted by the family such as a family friend, chauffeur, domestic help, tutor or teacher.

50% of the children reported that they were abused by someone they knew, who was in a position of trust and responsibility…

Myth 3: Girls are the “victims” and boys are the “perpetrators”

Fact: Of the 12447 respondents interviewed, 52.90% boys reported that they had been sexually abused, thus bringing forward a domino effect of subsequent realities, in the form of same sex abuse or non-consensual sodomy and women as perpetrators of abuse. These statistics are a well-deserved slap in the face of the many socially-constructed gender roles which stated that boys and men were in some way, immune to abuse and pain.

Myth 4: Children lie about being abused

Fact: The state-wise percentage of children not reporting abuse is a frightening 94.31% as compared with the tiny percentage [5.69%] who do report abuse. This is not because children lie about abuse, but because they are not encouraged to speak about sex or their bodies in the first place. If they do disclose an abusive experience, it is more likely that their faith in the person they are disclosing to will be shattered via responses along the lines of “you are lying, he/she [the abuser] loves you and would never hurt you”.

More than the children lying, which in fact, they do not do in context with being abused, it is the adults who are lying to themselves about the abuse not taking place. A child’s trust is broken once when he or she is abused, and is then broken a second time when called a liar. The ramifications of re-victimization constitute a lifelong emotional burden, which will be borne by children throughout their journey to adulthood.

Myth 5: Children entice or encourage the abuser

Fact: Children do NOT in any way encourage abuse, and it is not their fault if an abuser targets them. Victim blaming is common in most abuse cases; it is always the victim who “brought it upon” themselves to be beaten, hurt, humiliated and raped by wearing “provocative” clothes, displaying “inviting” body language and using “suggestive” speech.

The abuser is responsible for the manipulation and abuse of the child. The abuser is responsible for targeting the child and attaining gratification via the child. The child is not to blame for the abuse. Common sense dictates that the adult will naturally possess a more developed sense of what is appropriate and what is not, and will therefore not even remotely consider perceiving the child as sexually enticing; in the case that they do, the need to exercise impulse control and appropriate behaviour is solely their responsibility.

Children do NOT in any way encourage abuse, and it is not their fault if an abuser targets them.

Myth 6: Sex education for children results in promiscuity

Fact: One of the most challenging myths in the context of preventing sexual abuse of children is one which states that “teaching children about sex will encourage them to have sexual relations, thereby resulting in promiscuity and pregnancy”.

Given that children and young people experiment with physical intimacy regardless of the existence of sex education, it is questionable as to whether teaching them age appropriate lessons on sex, sexuality and personal safety will actually promote so-called promiscuity or perhaps make the younger generation more aware of their bodies, their right to say “no” and give them safe, non-judgmental spaces in which to voice their concerns and report any abusive behavior which they might be experiencing.

As the myth challenging continues, it is important to note that establishing clear communication with one’s child is a deterrent to abuse, as the abuser is unlikely to target a child who is not going to keep the abuse a “secret”.

*Photo credit: Jean Valjean

By Neha Shaw

I am Neha Shaw, a 4th year student of Symbiosis Law School, Pune and have been a volunteer at Colorss Foundation. Among several impressive projects, a very interesting one is Project Enhance. Project Enhance uses a combination of martial arts (many studies have championed the cognitive and behavioural benefits of martial arts) and creative arts (which are fun and beneficial in helping with brain stimulation) as vehicles to promote both the physical and mental well-being of underprivileged children. It’s our belief that good mental health is not just the absence of a mental disorder, but is a state of well-being where an individual feels confident and ready to cope with the stresses that life sometimes presents.

Since the founder of Colorss Mr. Anand Koti, has more than 15 years of martial arts training and a passion [...]]]> Colorss Foundation works towards women’s empowerment by developing the latent potentials of underprivileged children. 

By Neha Shaw

I am Neha Shaw, a 4^th year student of Symbiosis Law School, Pune and have been a volunteer at Colorss Foundation. Among several impressive projects, a very interesting one is Project Enhance. Project Enhance uses a combination of martial arts (many studies have championed the cognitive and behavioural benefits of martial arts) and creative arts (which are fun and beneficial in helping with brain stimulation) as vehicles to promote both the physical and mental well-being of underprivileged children. It’s our belief that good mental health is not just the absence of a mental disorder, but is a state of well-being where an individual feels confident and ready to cope with the stresses that life sometimes presents.

Since the founder of Colorss Mr. Anand Koti, has more than 15 years of martial arts training and a passion for using his talent to help others reach their potential, it makes the project more concrete and valuable. I chose to work on Project Enhance because of its uniqueness and a curiosity to see and feel how this project is making a social change.

Empowering an underprivileged section of our society

Currently this project is in progress in two schools, with fifty girls from Mahadji Shinde High School and another fifty three girls from Dr. Ambedkar Memorial School, ranging from class 5th to 8th, both being schools under the Pune Cantonment Board. These young girls are viewed as inconsequential and are often neglected by their own parents. Project Enhance aims to empower these girls and boost their self-confidence as well as improve physiological and psychological health so that they can one day become educated, productive and active members in their communities and society.

The project consists of 1 hour sessions, twice a week, with 30 minutes of martial arts training and 30 minutes of creative arts. There is also a counselling component integrated into the program. We, the volunteers try to provide a support system by motivating the children to succeed, improving their communication skills, discussing future careers and teaching them about handling themselves well in society.

These young girls are viewed as inconsequential and are often neglected by their own parents. Project Enhance aims to empower these girls…

The girls have responded quite positively towards the project. One can observe subtle, but definite changes in them. There is pride and positivity in their eyes when they perform the punches. Their increased levels of self-esteem and confidence can be seen when they participate during the creative sessions. They are assertive and are not scared to take a chance and respond, even though they might not have the correct answer. They look cheerful, happy and emotionally stable.

Belonging to poor families, there is a high chance of these girls being sent to school just for the sake of mid-day meals. In such a scenario, we try to instil a higher reason in them. The sparkle in their eyes, when they introduce themselves in English (the teaching medium is Marathi in their schools), when they finish some assignment first, when they are appreciated and told “very good”, is something that can only be experienced, and it rewards all our efforts and makes our hard work worthwhile.

The girls look forward to the creative sessions and are most eager to learn something new. We have conducted sessions on Sudoku, painting, comic strips, English speaking, singing, dancing, public speaking, body language, impromptu writing and general knowledge on a diverse range of topics.

Priti Basoraj Hasamanee is in grade 8. Her father says, “After my child joined Project Enhance program her anger has gone down. Her eating habits have improved and more importantly it’s now stabilized. She used to study with interest before she joined but now she sits with her wholehearted dedication for her studies. Due to her involvement in the project, she is getting the needful exercise and more importantly she is more balanced today.”

Priti herself states, “I am happy and peaceful today. After joining this project I learned many things like how we can use our body parts to defend ourselves. The games that we play in the project have improved my thinking ability. The suduko that we learnt is very exciting, I love it. The workshops on how to study has helped me very much”.

A video of a Karate class in session:

The best part is they do not look at this extra activity as burdensome, but in fact positively realize and appreciate its value. The definite reason for this is that they can feel a ‘change’ in themselves. They’ve learnt to dream.

They can feel their wings, and now have a desire to fly.

*Photo & Video Courtesy: Colorss Foundation

By Mandira Purohit

I’m Mandira Purohit, a School Leader at Akanksha. I studied at Cathedral and John Connon School and then completed my BA in Economics at Xaviers College. After having kids, I was a stay-at-home mum but as my children grew up I began to volunteer regularly at their school.

An Akanksha board member, who is a friend, suggested that there are other places to help out, such as Akanksha. Amit Chandra set up a meeting with Akanksha Founder, Shaheen Mistry 6 years ago. I remember having no idea where the Chinchpokli office was, and being very nervous. I had lived a very sheltered life and hadn’t experienced the real world.

A deep bond with the community

On my first day at Akanksha, I observed Yuvathi Sharan, a center at Prabhadevi. [...]]]> A school teacher from a school run by the Akanksha Foundation shares her joy in teaching children from low-income communities and watching them succeed. 

By Mandira Purohit

I’m Mandira Purohit, a School Leader at Akanksha. I studied at Cathedral and John Connon School and then completed my BA in Economics at Xaviers College. After having kids, I was a stay-at-home mum but as my children grew up I began to volunteer regularly at their school.

An Akanksha board member, who is a friend, suggested that there are other places to help out, such as Akanksha. Amit Chandra set up a meeting with Akanksha Founder, Shaheen Mistry 6 years ago. I remember having no idea where the Chinchpokli office was, and being very nervous. I had lived a very sheltered life and hadn’t experienced the real world.

A deep bond with the community

On my first day at Akanksha, I observed Yuvathi Sharan, a center at Prabhadevi. I remember a prayer that the children chanted in English, ‘God’s love is so wonderful’. These kids who didn’t have anything were still appreciative of God’s love. I was so moved that I began to teach on that day itself and was offered a permanent position as a teacher.

I found the induction at Akanksha very powerful as I was deeply touched by Shaheen’s video of how she began Akanksha. I made a pledge to myself then that I would do my best to stay with this place. At induction, I met an Akanksha student, Seema Kamble, who was then in college. I was so impressed by her that I felt that if I could at least impact one child’s life in this way I would feel like I had made a difference.

I made a pledge to myself then that I would do my best to stay with this place.

I immediately loved teaching. I had no struggles as far as the children and the community were concerned. The children were young, so they were easy to mould. The bond that I built with the community was very deep and strong. The community looked to us for everything, whether it was issues regarding their children or the other domestic problems they constantly faced.

What really helped me as a center teacher was the support I found in Chitra Vishwanath, a fellow teacher at the center. As the children continued to achieve, I felt more motivated. Through Akanksha I gained a lot from being exposed to forums such as InspirEd where some of the leaders of the best performing schools in the US came and shared their best practices with us and challenged us to deliver even more. I also had the opportunity to complete a lot of external training and then have the flexibility to conduct it in my own way.

Akanksha: a pivotal part of my life

Akanksha became such an important and pivotal part of my life that even when my own children had their holidays, they would volunteer at Akanksha.

After working as a teacher for 2 years, I became an Assistant Education Manager for 4 centers while continuing to teach each morning. I was an AEM for 3 years. Later I was I was given the opportunity to work at a private nursery school in Mumbai and I took up the offer.

Throughout my time there, I was torn between my commitment to Akanksha and my contract with the nursery school. Akanksha then demonstrated its commitment to me and provided me with the opportunity to become a School Leader at a new school: Sitaram Mumbai Public School. And I knew then that I had to leave the private nursery school and go back to work at Akanksha full time.

At Akanksha, you are more than a teacher; you are a mentor and a support for the children and the families.

When I went into the school program, I laid out a clear goal: at the end of their schooling, our children should be at par academically with children from privileged private schools. At Akanksha, you are more than a teacher; you are a mentor and a support for the children and the families. We need to be extremely resourceful, entirely committed and work with a sense of urgency to help our children maximize their achievement. If we play our role well, then we can take our children through to college. The success or failure of a child begins and ends with you as a teacher.

When I started teaching, I soon realized that while attempting to teach the children, I myself was learning so much from them. Earlier, I would get so bogged down and upset by the littlest things, but after interacting with these children, whose lives were plagued with adversity but still managed to smile through it all, I was inspired to do the same. I learnt to look at the brighter side of every situation, which eventually made me a much happier person.

I had thought that I wanted to work at Akanksha to give back to society, and what I quickly realized is that in working at Akanksha, I was receiving so much happiness.

*Photo credit: The Akanksha Foundation

(Updated) A note from Akanksha Foundation: 46 After-School Centers, 9 Schools, 4055 children and growing…Come be part of the story. Apply to be a teacher today! teach@akanksha.org

By Srirupa Bhowmik & Nandini Rao

When you think of the word “scientist”, what image comes to your mind – a man or a woman? A man in a white lab coat, looking over some test tubes, pipettes and bubbling beakers? Of course, it is a clichéd picture, but that is precisely what we are trying to get at.

What are our gender stereotypes about scientists and “techies”? Who usually makes it to the medical and engineering colleges? Once they graduate, what kind of jobs do they take up? Who reach the upper echelons of power and decision-making? Do we hear more about women or men being in high-powered government committees on science and technology? Wouldn’t we like to see more women like Dr. Indira Hinduja (first test tube baby), Dr. [...]]]> Several constraints prevent Indian women from building a career in science & technology. FAT works towards equipping women to overcome these hurdles.

By Srirupa Bhowmik & Nandini Rao

When you think of the word “scientist”, what image comes to your mind – a man or a woman? A man in a white lab coat, looking over some test tubes, pipettes and bubbling beakers? Of course, it is a clichéd picture, but that is precisely what we are trying to get at.

What are our gender stereotypes about scientists and “techies”? Who usually makes it to the medical and engineering colleges? Once they graduate, what kind of jobs do they take up? Who reach the upper echelons of power and decision-making? Do we hear more about women or men being in high-powered government committees on science and technology? Wouldn’t we like to see more women like Dr. Indira Hinduja (first test tube baby), Dr. Aditi Pant (part of a research team to Antarctica), Kiran Majumdar-Shaw (CEO, Biocon Biopharmaceuticals), Kalpana Chawla and Sunita Williams (both astronauts)?

What did you say is leaking?

However, often, the reality on the ground is depressingly different. Worldwide, statistics show that girls are excelling at the primary and secondary school levels. Sadly, the numbers do not translate into higher membership in science and technology(S&T). Experts call it the “Leaky Pipeline”. It refers to the steady decline of girls and women throughout the formal S&T system, from primary education to decision-making in S&T.

The pipeline seems to start leaking from girlhood and continues till adulthood.

Plugging leaks – the feminist way!

Feminist Approach to Technology (FAT) is a pioneering non-profit organization committed to empowering women through technology. It believes that women are crucial agents of social change and as such, are very capable of using and creating all kinds of technology. The wheels of evolving technology are never going to stay still, and it is important that women catch up with it, as well as have equal partnership in its future.

FAT envisions a world where all women have equal opportunities to learn, use and create technology, irrespective of their academic background, economic status or geographical location. An environment where women break out of age-old gendered notions of space and work; and learn to experiment with and benefit from new technologies. FAT has adopted three strategies to achieve this vision.

FAT envisions a world where all women have equal opportunities to learn, use and create technology…

First, through its advocacy strategy, FAT works with women’s groups and development agencies to raise consciousness and advocate about women’s participation and decision-making in S&T. Advocacy with state agencies aims to bring about critical change in policies related to mainstreaming women and girls in S&T (to reduce gender inequalities), as well as facilitate their retention in this field.

The second strategy (in the planning stage) is to work directly with women in technical careers in order to help them locate their professional lives (and the resulting constraints) within the larger context of women’s rights.

Third is the work with adolescent girls. FAT will soon be launching a project to promote Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) education among school girls. For the past two years, the team has been running a Tech Centre for adolescent girls from urban poor communities. Here, FAT not only provides technical education to both school going and dropout girls, but it also uses the Centre as a space to build leadership amongst these young women.

There are many heartening stories that emerged out of our two year long relationship with adolescent girls. Anita’s story is one of them.

Anita Sai*, 19 years old, struggling with the usual changes that teenage years bring, was all set to start her studies in political science at college. One day, she and her family got a rude shock when they got news of the untimely death of her elder sister (married with one daughter) in her matrimonial home. Soon after, Anita’s family started pressuring her to get married to her brother-in-law (in order to take over the familial responsibilities that her deceased sister had shouldered). But Anita had dreamt of something for herself. She wanted to study, earn her living, buy a car and “go on a long drive” in it! She was willing to work for it, but all this suddenly seemed to be out of her reach. She went into depression.

At that time, Anita was a student at the FAT Tech Centre. She turned to the only place from where she could hope to get some support. The FAT team swung into action, spoke to her family and managed to convince them that her dreams were more important than their own constraints. FAT’s intervention helped. Anita’s marriage was cancelled and she was allowed to pursue her studies. However, the family’s condition was that they would not pay her college fees. FAT found a sponsor for her. Anita successfully completed the 6 months’ course at the Tech Centre. She now also continues her studies at college.

FAT provides many young women like Anita the space to learn about technology, share and discuss issues close to their hearts, laugh and cry, sing and dance. Some of them complete what they set out to do, while others fall through the cracks of the system. However, in the process, they become strong and learn to believe in themselves.

What more could anyone ask for?

*Name changed on request

*Picture: Helping young girls get tech-smart. Pic courtesy FAT.

By Hamsini Ravi

Men and women look at public spaces differently. After three months of helping run the Chennai Hollaback! website, I have learnt this. Prajnya, a Chennai-based non profit launched Hollaback! in Chennai after conducting a safety audit as part of the 16 Day Campaign Against Gender Violence in 2009. “One of the reasons, we launched Hollaback! in Chennai, was that while it is perceived as a safe city for women, many incidents are brushed under the carpet, simply because women and girls are not encouraged to talk about it. Or simply, because we don’t think there is anything wrong in being whistled at”, says Anupama Srinivasan, Director, Gender Research and Information Taskforce, Prajnya.

Growing up with street sexual harassment

On a personal level, one of my first encounters of sexual harassment on [...]]]> Street sexual harassment is not teasing; and it can be effectively tackled only if we change our attitudes towards it.

By Hamsini Ravi

Men and women look at public spaces differently. After three months of helping run the Chennai Hollaback! website, I have learnt this. Prajnya, a Chennai-based non profit launched Hollaback! in Chennai after conducting a safety audit as part of the 16 Day Campaign Against Gender Violence in 2009. “One of the reasons, we launched Hollaback! in Chennai, was that while it is perceived as a safe city for women, many incidents are brushed under the carpet, simply because women and girls are not encouraged to talk about it. Or simply, because we don’t think there is anything wrong in being whistled at”, says Anupama Srinivasan, Director, Gender Research and Information Taskforce, Prajnya.

Growing up with street sexual harassment

On a personal level, one of my first encounters of sexual harassment on the street, was way back when I was 12. We had gathered at a classmate’s house for her birthday party, and were playing badminton just outside her house, when another one of our classmates said that she saw a man, who was relieving himself on the road, pointing his private parts in her direction. A collective shock ran through the birthday party. As young girls who used only certain public spaces, that too at designated times and mostly under adult supervision, we were flummoxed that this could be allowed to happen.

The world will be what it is. You need to come back home early or dress ‘appropriately’ to deal with it’

To make matters worse, the host’s mother at the birthday party used the occasion to give us a lecture. Something along the lines of how since we were big girls now, we should be careful about what the world threw at us, how men would look for opportunities to rub against us or catcall. ‘The world will be what it is. You need to come back home early or dress ‘appropriately’ to deal with it’, was the brief. To a 12-year-old’s mind, I didn’t see why I had to be on my toes and reform myself, when I wasn’t at fault here!

Over the years, I have had sporadic encounters with street sexual harassment, but only recently have I carefully been observing people’s reactions to it. The advertisement of a popular Chennai-based retailer once said, ‘Get used to whistles and stares!’, and I was shocked at how it not only accepted a serious form of harassment, but also glorified it. As if, we need validations that we look good from random men whistling and staring.

Dispelling myths about street sexual harassment

One of the challenges that we’ve had to do in our Hollaback! workshops has been getting the girls to squash some common stereotypes about sexual harassment in public spaces, and call violence for what it is:

a) Even staring, whistling and cat calling are abuse – they can lead to worse abuse if ignored.

b) A more exclusive public space, such as a mall or a pub, is not harassment-free by itself.

c) Often, what one wears is not a trigger for street sexual harassment. A project by Blank Noise, proved otherwise. When they called for women to send in clothes they were wearing when harassed, they received all kinds of clothes, from bhurkas to sarees and kurtas.

d) You can make a difference by protesting against it real time – even a firm NO, to a man who is brushing against you in the bus, can help.

e) Don’t call it Eve Teasing. Teasing is a rather gentle word for these circumstances, recognise that this is a violation and call it STREET SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

Create noise; acknowledge and talk about street sexual harassment

One of our aims, when we launched, was to ‘break the silence’ around the issue of street sexual harassment. While, we have succeeded in getting people to talk about it, at some level, sustaining interest in the issue, getting people to invest in anti-gender violence campaign and in safe public spaces, and looking at it as a serious social issue worthy of attention, has been a challenge.

The first step to recognising that street sexual harassment is a legitimate human rights issue, is by adopting a zero-tolerance approach…

A sure eyeball grabber would be to explicitly highlight the economic costs of street sexual harassment. On a micro-economic level, this would include how women may choose to hire auto rickshaws to work, as opposed to buses, or how women may choose to stay in a slightly more downtown residential area than the suburbs, or refuse jobs that require them to travel in the night. On a macro-economic level, this would span the cost that companies invest on fleets of vehicles to pick and drop their employees, police patrols in designated public spaces and the like.

The world is divided into Slutwalk activists, and the rest of the normal folks, is the general perception among people, when I tell them that I’m involved with the local chapter of an international collective that works on the issue of street sexual harassment. The first step to recognising that street sexual harassment is a legitimate human rights issue, is by adopting a zero-tolerance approach, and telling yourself that you deserve no less than being able to feel absolutely safe.

By Soma Mukhopadhyay

It was a dark night on 31 December 2011 when our youth were celebrating their New Year’s eve with light and music. Meanwhile, an expectant mother Bina Gyan in Jamespur, a remote village of the Sundarban in West Bengal was eagerly awaiting her delivery. There was no doctor, no nurse, nor any hospital nearby. Bina was suffering from labour pains, with the village midwife and elderly women of her house for company.

A Royal Bengal tiger had wandered into the village from the adjacent jungle just a couple of days ago, and the whole village was gripped with fear.In this situation, who would take the risk of carrying her to the primary health centre across the river by a narrow boat?

Although Bina’s baby was in a complicated breech position, she gave birth [...]]]> Traditional midwives if supported with modern training can make a significant difference to maternal health in India.

By Soma Mukhopadhyay

It was a dark night on 31 December 2011 when our youth were celebrating their New Year’s eve with light and music. Meanwhile, an expectant mother Bina Gyan in Jamespur, a remote village of the Sundarban in West Bengal was eagerly awaiting her delivery. There was no doctor, no nurse, nor any hospital nearby. Bina was suffering from labour pains, with the village midwife and elderly women of her house for company.

A Royal Bengal tiger had wandered into the village from the adjacent jungle just a couple of days ago, and the whole village was gripped with fear.In this situation, who would take the risk of carrying her to the primary health centre across the river by a narrow boat?

Although Bina’s baby was in a complicated breech position, she gave birth to her baby girl successfully with the help of the experienced village midwife. A day later, Bina and her newborn baby (in pic) were examined by a team of doctors at a nearby medical camp. Surprisingly, they gave the same advice for her lower abdominal pain as her midwife and grandmother had!

Traditional midwifery being pushed into oblivion

Yes,this is a true story of not only Jamespur but the rest of rural India as well – where the village midwife is a true blessing in disguise. Unfortunately, in the name of modern medicine, we tend to overlook and neglect them. We are not aware of the history of midwifery in our country. The two eminent physicians of ancient India,Charaka and Sushruta have described this vividly in their books and the profession was considered a noble one in earlier times.

During the colonial period when Western medicine gained prominence, our midwives began to face a struggle for existence. They have lost their voices and social positions and yet continue to silently serve the expectant mother and child in these remote villages even today. We can`t see their tears or feel their pain; what we see is only their graceful smiles after saving the lives of the mother and the child, in a complicated delivery like Bina’s.

What do they expect from us? Nothing but a little respect – which we often forget and at times hurt them by using abusive words like ‘uneducated’ and `illiterate’ to describe them without knowing their skill.

They have lost their voices and social positions and yet continue to silently serve the expectant mother and child in remote villages even today.

Need of the hour: A harmonious blend of modern medicine and traditional skills

Bina’s story reminds me of my sister-in-law’s delivery 36 years back. It too was a breech position delivery and the doctor averse to taking the risk of a normal delivery operated her. Unfortunately several complications arose after the delivery. So how can one justify it? As far as I have seen, the work of village midwives is amazing. If we blend some sort of modern midwifery training with their experience they can do wonders. At one point, the government did provide them with training and helped them find work in primary health centres.

But now the situation has completely changed. Of late, such training programs as well as their minimum salary have been stopped. So, we decided to train the midwives of Jamespur on behalf of an NGO, Sunderban Simanta Swasthya Pariseva along with a volunteer doctor`s organization Sromojivi Swastha Uddyog (Chengail). Since the entire Sunderban area has no electricity, another NGO, FREED who work for the development of rural Bengali women, have presented us with solar lamps for medical purposes.

With the current emphasis on women empowerment, one cannot help but be surprised to see the progressiveness of the women of Jamespur. They need to walk for atleast an hour, through muddy paths – which during the monsoons are infested with crocodiles and snakes – to reach the only Higher Secondary School of their village. The Pathan Khali College of Gosaba is around three hours from their homes. Yet most of them have managed to complete their graduation.

But what attracts me most is that every family loves their girl child. The relationship between a mother and her daughter is remarkable. Rita Mondal, a housewife I know, never allowed her teenaged daughter to cook and always encouraged her to study. Bina and her family welcomed their baby girl very happily, and as for midwives, unlike other districts of Bengal, there is no caste bar to becoming one. It is our duty to encourage the women of Jamespur.

Pictures: Bina Gyan and her daughter Dipti; Training for village midwives; all pics courtesy Soma Mukhopadhyay

By Subir Ghosh

Minutes after I had put up a status message on Facebook saying that I was planning to pen first-hand accounts of domestic violence survivors, I was flooded with messages.

Among those who responded was my friend, Nargis Yousuf *, from Bangalore. Er, was she a victim?

No. But she had an account of someone. “Would you need the person to narrate it herself? As in, meet her?”, she asked. I thought otherwise. “But she won’t be able to speak to you here (on Facebook).”, Nargis added. So, was this person seeking anonymity? “No, it is just that she can’t be on a comp.”, she stated. The woman in question was illiterate. She was Nargis’ domestic help. My friend felt her maid had a story in her – one that needed [...]]]> Jayalakshmi’s story of domestic violence is that of lakhs of other Indian women. That is why it needs to be told. 

By Subir Ghosh

Minutes after I had put up a status message on Facebook saying that I was planning to pen first-hand accounts of domestic violence survivors, I was flooded with messages.

Among those who responded was my friend, Nargis Yousuf *, from Bangalore. Er, was she a victim?

No. But she had an account of someone. “Would you need the person to narrate it herself? As in, meet her?”, she asked. I thought otherwise. “But she won’t be able to speak to you here (on Facebook).”, Nargis added. So, was this person seeking anonymity? “No, it is just that she can’t be on a comp.”, she stated. The woman in question was illiterate. She was Nargis’ domestic help. My friend felt her maid had a story in her – one that needed to be told to the world.

So, here it is.

There are stories of rags to riches. Then there are others where misfortune drives people to abject penury. When children are born into such families, they need to start eking out a living the same way all as unfortunate as them do – at the bottom of the food chain. And if the child is a girl, starting off as a domestic help is one of the ways out.

There are stories of rags to riches. Then there are others where misfortune drives people to abject penury.

So it had been for Jayalakshmi *. Her father, once upon a time, owned a number of theatres in Andhra Pradesh. He was semi-literate, and he paid a price for that – quite dearly. He was duped by friends and partners and lost all he had, except his family. Hounded by debtors and driven by hunger, the man, his wife and three daughters fled to neighbouring Karnataka.

There was little, however, that her father could do to pull the family out of the woods. He could not get over the sense of betrayal or loss of fortune. Before the family could realise, he had gone mad. The woman and her three little daughters were now left to fend for themselves. The mother started out as a domestic help in Bangalore. Jayalakshmi was barely eight at the time.

In another eight years, she would be married off, and would tread her mother’s path, by washing utensils and sweeping the houses of the better off. Her problems were only beginning.

Only a few months had passed, when the man of her life started accusing her of infidelity. He probably had a guilt complex chewing him from the inside – he was himself wont to be sleeping around. The accusations didn’t come alone, they were accompanied by violence. Brutal.

Sixteen years and three sons later, nothing much has changed for Jayalakshmi on the domestic front. No, let’s be straight on this – the man hasn’t changed. He remains sadistic, drinks himself violent, and steals from her meagre earnings. He is a satyr, and has no end to sexual urges. He needs to watch porn on their television even while the children are asleep in the shack they share in the Shampur area. Protests are met with, needless to say, brutally.

Jayalakshmi doesn’t lose focus. She works in six homes from six in the morning till seven in the evening, and her life revolves around her three sons. The eldest is 14, the little one ten. She manages five grand a month, of which 1,400 goes towards house rent. She still manages to send the children to school, and feed them as well. The husband lives off her, and gambles away.

She hasn’t lost her sense of self-respect either. Men lust after her, incessantly asking her for sexual favours. Jayalakshmi wards them off, with dignity.

The women of the households where she works identify with her to varying extents. They donate the rice she desperately needs – times of inflation or otherwise. When she got her bonus for the month of Ramzan, the first thing Jayalakshmi did was run to the school to pay the fees. Every time that she gets a hundred rupee note, Nargis can virtually see her calculating what amount will need to go where. The beast meanwhile, continues to live off her, stealing the money she sets aside for a rainy day in garbage bins. She has reasons to fear the man – he and a few friends of his had once allegedly murdered a woman in the area.

The first thing one loses in times of adversity, probably, is humour; Jayalakshmi hasn’t.

Jayalakshmi’s mother died of cancer a few years back. Both the younger sisters are married, and the husbands thankfully provide for them. Her father’s condition grew worse over the years, and then one day he simply walked out of the house, never to return. That was five years ago.

The first thing one loses in times of adversity, probably, is humour; Jayalakshmi hasn’t. She is incisively witty, and that possibly is one of the reasons why she gets along with Nargis.

Wisdom does not come from education; Jayalakshmi is a living example of the contention. When Nargis’ own uncle had to be sent to an institution for the mentally ill, words of wisdom came from her help: “Don’t use harsh words against them. They don’t do these things on purpose.” Our maid would have known; as a child she had seen her father transform into a sorry creature who would even gnaw away at the walls in dismay.

My piece was to have been about a survivor. Could I call Jayalakshmi that? Nargis has an answer (quoted verbatim): “in spite of such a husband and a lecherous society,inspite of financial restraints,wn a woman has come to this point wr her kids r into schooling n she is not into debts,and shows signs of progress and keeps her spirits high. thats a survivor.”

So there we are.

There is probably nothing outstanding about Jayalakshmi. Her story could also be that of lakhs of such women out there. That’s why this story needs to be told.

Photo credit: CMSeter

* Names changed on request.

By Sabbah Haji

Aisha Tabassum, age 4, had just started Lower Kindergarten. Like all the new students in her class, Aisha was still a little shy. Her elder brother Nazir would accompany her, sitting with her through the day in all classes. Nazir was already a student of Grade 8 in the local Government High School. Except, Nazir couldn’t read. He was unable to recognise even the alphabet, yet he had never been failed in all his years at the school. Like all his peers, he was just on an enroll-and-pass system, with no connect to actual learning. This had been the case in the village for a couple of generations when we decided to try and change things.

Haji Public School [HPS] started off as a very simple idea within the family: “Let’s [...]]]> The rural education system desperately needs a shake-up, and qualified, comfortable urban dwellers like us need to pitch in. 

By Sabbah Haji

Aisha Tabassum, age 4, had just started Lower Kindergarten. Like all the new students in her class, Aisha was still a little shy. Her elder brother Nazir would accompany her, sitting with her through the day in all classes. Nazir was already a student of Grade 8 in the local Government High School. Except, Nazir couldn’t read. He was unable to recognise even the alphabet, yet he had never been failed in all his years at the school. Like all his peers, he was just on an enroll-and-pass system, with no connect to actual learning. This had been the case in the village for a couple of generations when we decided to try and change things.

Haji Public School [HPS] started off as a very simple idea within the family: “Let’s get our people educated. Let’s start from home.” Home in this case was our ancestral village Breswana, sitting high up in the mountains of Doda in Jammu and Kashmir. ‘Our people’ were generations of students whose school life had flitted by without them gaining so much as an elementary level of learning, judged by any decent academic standard.

Government schools: a shoddy state of affairs

Like most villages, the only school in Breswana used to be a government school. A typical government school in our area has two or three teachers, while the students number in the hundreds. The teachers are not necessarily well-qualified, especially for higher classes. Add to this the absence of official checks (given the remoteness of the area) and you have a comfortable, uninterested teaching staff, with high absenteeism and proxy stand-ins. The additional scourge of militancy in the past, and an absence of Panchayats at the local level, made the school system plumb even lower depths. A similar malaise possibly affects all rural government schools across the subcontinent, but I can only speak of our experiences in the mountains of J&K.

The additional scourge of militancy in the past, and an absence of Panchayats at the local level, really made the school system plumb even lower depths.

The Haji family decided in late 2008 that the only way to break away from the status quo was to start its own school in the village. From two rooms in the Haji cottage in 2009, with two trained teachers and thirty odd students, Haji Public School now functions out of its own building and grounds, having sixteen home-grown teachers and about a hundred and fifty students in classes Kindergarten through to Grade Four. With each year we increment a class, eventually aiming to take the school up to college level.

Proper schooling: immediate positives

The positives of good schooling on children is immediately obvious and we witnessed these changes firsthand. The kids picked up very quickly on hygiene, discipline, manners and confidence, apart from actually learning well. Family members were asked to involve themselves in their children’s activities and siblings began to take more interest in their studies out of a sense of competition. Cleanliness and awareness in the community as a whole picked up. A few years ago, a young child of the village speaking confidently to any adult stranger would have been an unimaginable scenario. Today, the kids at HPS are as comfortable with their teachers as with a volunteer from Canada or Singapore visiting for a few days.

A healthy learning environment without the traditional fear tactics so embedded in conventional teaching, along with enough time for games and fun so essential to young children, is really all that is needed for a good village school [good teaching is, of course, a given].

Running a rural school – challenges

The biggest challenge one faces with running a growing school in a remote rural area such as ours is staffing. Everything else falls by the wayside. There is a serious dearth of qualified teachers from among the local population. Unfortunately, because of the difficult location and it being a village, better-qualified teachers from elsewhere are not willing to move there for a permanent or long-term stint.

The biggest challenge one faces with running a growing school in a remote rural area such as ours is staffing. Everything else falls by the wayside.

Other practical challenges are, primarily, funding of a school that doesn’t run on profits. The remoteness of the village from the nearest town and the absence of motorable roads all the way is another physical challenge. For any purchase or transport of stationery and materials, administration work, permissions etc., the physical distance that has to be covered is daunting. Also, the absence of Internet anywhere in the area is a negative, especially in this day and age.

Go teach in the villages

My experience with our school in the mountains has been extremely rewarding; I have seen directly how proper education affects a village. I feel strongly that anyone willing and able to take time off ought to head to a village [someone you know must have ties to a village] and help in schools there for as long as they are able. It is the rural education system that desperately needs a shake-up, and it has to be us, the better-qualified, comfortable urban dwellers who have to pitch in to lend a hand. Governments and ‘the system’ have done nothing all these years. We need not wait around and expect them to suddenly wake up. Let’s get in there ourselves.

PS: Haji Public School is accepting applications for long-term teaching volunteers from its spring session, March 2012 onwards. Volunteers will be required to commit to a period of three to six months at the least. Contact details are available off the school website.

Pic credit: Sabbah Haji

By Shirin Juwaley

Having a facial disfigurement, according to me, is an advantage! It has sieved out the people in my life as only the significant remain. In the 13 years of surviving an acid attack by my ex-husband, I have come across all sorts of attitudes and behaviours towards a deviant face.

Justifying and accepting discrimination

I often wonder why most people cringe, repel, flinch, stare, avert their gaze and feel awkward in their interactions with people with disfigurement. To cite a few examples, Deepa.S*, 25, decided to burn up as she was fed up of living a life not meeting her expectations. This wife and mother of a one year old survived and suffers extreme contractures. Her chin and neck are fused with scarring all over her body. Let’s [...]]]> Shirin Juwaley of Palash Foundation, an organisation dedicated to the rehabilitation of people with disfigurement, explains how disfigurement affects the lives of women.

By Shirin Juwaley

Having a facial disfigurement, according to me, is an advantage! It has sieved out the people in my life as only the significant remain. In the 13 years of surviving an acid attack by my ex-husband, I have come across all sorts of attitudes and behaviours towards a deviant face.

Justifying and accepting discrimination

I often wonder why most people cringe, repel, flinch, stare, avert their gaze and feel awkward in their interactions with people with disfigurement. To cite a few examples, Deepa.S*, 25, decided to burn up as she was fed up of living a life not meeting her expectations. This wife and mother of a one year old survived and suffers extreme contractures. Her chin and neck are fused with scarring all over her body. Let’s face it; her physical symmetry has gone askew. This mother prefers to isolate herself in a dingy house with no electricity and water, as fetching food would mean the neighbours cringing and fearfully closing their doors. This means Deepa is willing to go thirsty and hungry rather than step out in a community that is obviously uncomfortable with her physical appearances.

In a country where leprosy is still considered a curse from God, where social discrimination is based on colour, where girls of marriageable age are encouraged to go through great lengths to be visually acceptable, fearing the visually deviant holds no surprise. What is interesting though, is that Deepa herself conforms to these ideas of beauty and finds the reaction of her neighbours justifiable. Many women in the lower socio-economic class resort to burning as an answer to their troubles not realising that this will only add to their woes if they survive. Since fire is considered to be engulfing and easily accessible to women, 80% of burn cases are women and children.

Many women in the lower socio-economic class resort to burning as an answer to their troubles not realising that this will only add to their woes if they survive.

Shanti.K*, 30, was burnt by her in-laws as she was childless three years into her marriage. She survived with her skin on her face and body badly twisted and stretched leaving her looking deviant. She wears a scarf around her facial disfigurement and hides her scars with clothes covering her fully so that ‘others’ are comfortable around her. She runs into a fit of anger if a man passes the comment “Who will be with someone like you? (Teray jaisee kay saath kaun rahega?)” as it affirms that she is not beautiful and hence not acceptable. She has few friends and does not like to socialize, which is much against the carefree person she was before getting burnt. Marriage or even relationships according to her are both impossible and not even a distant dream.

The perfect, unattainable body

Both Deepa and Shanti are accepting of their discrimination as they don’t know otherwise. The social indoctrination around physical appearances, especially for a woman, starts as soon as she is born. The messages floating around are so strong, be it in the stories we are told, the movies we watch, the clothes we wear, religious significance, customs to be adhered, compliments/comments we receive, comparisons made with siblings and cousins – the list is probably endless, shape our thinking. The visual impact of media has pushed 98% of the ‘normal’ population to ape the 2% population of ‘perfect’ bodies displayed in glossy magazines and hoardings.

For Anamika.M*, who was born congenitally disfigured, growing up with no legs was traumatic. Children around her played and ran while she stood in one place, helpless. She was considered as a ‘kaccha limbu’ /invalid and rejected for not being ‘normal’. The trauma of growing up was magnified, as fitting in became the only goal. Anamika made concentrated efforts to look pretty to compensate for her feet.

The paramount importance given to ideals of physical appearances, mostly for women, has secluded a certain section of society that does not fit into the mould of beauty or ‘normalcy’. 

There are thousands of people with disfigurement living in Mumbai alone but the probability of meeting these thousands is reduced to one in a month. I wonder, why is the ratio so abnormally imbalanced? The answers over the years have evolved into more questions. The paramount importance given to ideals of physical appearances, mostly for women, has secluded a certain section of society that does not fit into the mould of beauty or ‘normalcy’. Deviant looking bodies (disfigurement) have been enshrouded with myth, religious beliefs and fear causing disruption in attitudes and behaviour. Disfigurement is defined as an altered physical appearance which can be congenital, due to accidents, burn injuries, surgical intervention, skin deformities, illnesses or any other reason. Hence disfigurement, though not a physical liability, creates a disabling impact due to social prejudices and apathy by society, particularly for a woman, as she is overburdened with expectations of being a perfect (socially acceptable) daughter, a wife and mother.

We at Palash Foundation deal with these core issues of accepting differences. Our core programme addresses social reintegration and livelihoods for people with disfigurement. We currently work along with the social work department of LTMG (Sion) and Kasturba Hospital in Mumbai with burn survivors and their caretakers and simultaneously conduct sensistisation and awareness talks to different groups of people on disfigurement. To know more visit www.palashfoundation.org