By Unmana Datta

Three years ago, in the depths of the recession, I quit my stressful job at a small IT firm. I couldn’t take it anymore; every Sunday night, I would feel sick at the thought of going to work the next day. I quit even though we had a monthly home loan payment that was much of my salary, counting on my husband’s job to carry us through.

Restarting my job search

I spent the first few weeks recuperating. Then I started exploring my options. I got more involved in volunteering. I tried to write, but was never motivated enough to write much. I took up one or two freelance projects, but realized I hated it; it didn’t have the depth and structure I was used to in my full-time work. Slowly [...]]]> In a 2-part series, Unmana shares her career tips on finding a great job and turning it into your dream one.

By Unmana Datta

Three years ago, in the depths of the recession, I quit my stressful job at a small IT firm. I couldn’t take it anymore; every Sunday night, I would feel sick at the thought of going to work the next day. I quit even though we had a monthly home loan payment that was much of my salary, counting on my husband’s job to carry us through.

Restarting my job search

I spent the first few weeks recuperating. Then I started exploring my options. I got more involved in volunteering. I tried to write, but was never motivated enough to write much. I took up one or two freelance projects, but realized I hated it; it didn’t have the depth and structure I was used to in my full-time work. Slowly but inexorably I realized that the work I liked most was what I had left. But I needed more than good work. I also needed a good employer - a boss I could respect, people I would enjoy working with.

Slowly but inexorably I realized that the work I liked most was what I had left. But I needed more than good work.

I started looking again. I polished my resume and put it up on job sites. I spent hours looking through available jobs and applying to anything that seemed remotely promising. I got on to LinkedIn and looked through my connections desperately, wondering whom I could ask for help. I made lists of companies I could apply to. I went to their websites and filled up forms and uploaded my resume.

When the few leads I got petered out, I wondered what else I could do. I needed a list of companies in my city, so I could look at each website and see if I wanted to apply. Surely one of them would have a job that was right for me. Surely one of them needed a smart, driven (and relatively cheap) marketer.

I checked out the website of the local “software exporters” association. It had a list of all members, ordered alphabetically. I decided to work my way down the list. Right near the top of the list was Affinity Express. I looked at the website and was instantly interested. And they had an opening for an E-Marketing Manager.

You know how the story ends. But I didn’t, then. I applied, without a lot of hope; many companies don’t update their job pages often, they may have found someone already or they may not like me. But after a couple of weeks, I was called for an interview.

I knew I had the job when the hiring manager, my soon-to-be boss, spent more time selling the job to me than he did asking me hard questions. I knew it when he admitted frankly that he was impressed by my resume. I had another hurdle to clear; an interview with the VP of marketing in the US. I was nervous, but it turned out to be a cakewalk.

I knew I had the job when the recruiter, my soon-to-be boss, spent more time selling the job to me than he did asking me hard questions.

I still had my doubts – really late hours, less money than I expected and a long commute. I also wondered, if they were so easily impressed with me, did it mean I was settling for a less challenging job? But I didn’t have any other offers.

I made a deal with my husband: if I didn’t like the job, I’d quit in a few weeks and look for another.

It’s been over two years… and it has been a very happy and satisfying two years for me.

I have been happier at my job than I ever thought it possible to be. I boast about it so often — the work I love, the great boss I have—that my friends get bored and acquaintances look surprised (and probably wonder if I’m in my right mind).

Lessons learnt while hunting for THE job

A) Try harder. You haven’t tried enough until you have looked at every company in your city (or in other cities, if you can move). If you get to the end of the list, start again at the top. There’s got to be something.

B) Keep an open mind. My new job wasn’t in the IT sector, which was where I’d worked earlier. When I started, I had really late hours and a 2-hour commute (one way). My boss turned out to be really flexible and I soon started working from home a couple of days a week. My office also later moved closer to my house.

C) Decide what’s important for you. I wanted work I loved doing, a job that would make me happy. I was willing to compromise heavily on money if I got the rest. I was willing to work hard, work late hours, to take on a job that took 13 hours of my day with the commute. I wanted a chance to prove myself.

D) Use all the options you have. This is the most important. Networking through LinkedIn? Go out and attend a local industry event. Call all your colleagues and friends and old classmates. Talk to people about your job hunt, even if you’re at a party; you never know who might be able to help. Take up freelance assignments if you can get them, even if they pay peanuts – it gives you something to do and you might get a foot in the door if a job opens up at that company. Start a blog: talk about your work and show how knowledgeable, competent and likeable you are. (After I joined, I found out that my boss had found my blog and thought my enthusiasm and writing skills added to my desirability as an employee.)

E) Focus on your positives. Before you go out there, you have to believe in yourself. Evaluate your strengths. You might be middle-aged and competing with folks just out of college who are at ease in the new world of social networking and hyper-connectivity. But you’ve got experience on your side: focus on demonstrating that strength and improving your chances by showing that you’re eager to learn new things even though you’re twice the age of most other candidates. If you are young and inexperienced: why, you can be driven and hard-working and eager, which are all qualities employers look for. Go into that interview convinced you’re the right person for the job, and you’re more likely to convince others.

Look out for Part 2, on how you can make your current job closer to your ideal one.

By Melanie Lobo

Does the fact that you now have a baby leave you feeling lost and not connected to the world? Or, even if you choose to continue working, does being a mother make you give up networking because you need to get back home soon?

Networking from home

Teja Lele Desai used to be a full time journalist with several leading newspapers. After working full time for 11 years, she quit to have a baby. Teja’s baby is now 9 months old and Teja freelances from home. She is the consulting editor for an architectural magazine and also has regular columns in various magazines such as Good Housekeeping. Teja feels,“Things would have been different if I had continued in a workplace”.

…when you are single or without a child, it is much easier to network.

She feels [...]]]> Is motherhood the end of career networking? Let’s find out from some mothers who’ve been there, done that!

By Melanie Lobo

Does the fact that you now have a baby leave you feeling lost and not connected to the world? Or, even if you choose to continue working, does being a mother make you give up networking because you need to get back home soon?

Networking from home

Teja Lele Desai used to be a full time journalist with several leading newspapers. After working full time for 11 years, she quit to have a baby. Teja’s baby is now 9 months old and Teja freelances from home. She is the consulting editor for an architectural magazine and also has regular columns in various magazines such as Good Housekeeping. Teja feels,“Things would have been different if I had continued in a workplace”.

…when you are single or without a child, it is much easier to network.

She feels that there are more opportunities available when you are working full-time and you are able to make use of these opportunities and build on them. However, she does not feel that she has missed out on networking while working from home. This is largely due to the fact that she has got in touch with people online and through phone calls. She does not feel that motherhood has really made her lose out on a career as she is still able to get work.

She admits that when you are single or without a child, it is much easier to network. However, Teja’s priorities have changed and she is not so career oriented anymore. Networking online works for her.

Networking is a conscious choice you make

Anamika Chakravarty is a consultant with Destination Outdoors. With a total work experience of about 18 years, Anamika had achieved whatever she set out to, career-wise, before she quit to have a baby. She admits that she had put having a family on hold till she reached the top of her career, “I was very career driven. Motherhood made me reprioritize. My career has now taken a back seat and I am looking forward to do other things that I never had the time for earlier”. As far as networking is concerned however, she is still very active. She reaches out to people, as this is in an integral part of her work. There are networking opportunities in her line of work that she takes advantage of.

She tries to network as much as possible, even if it means going for an alumni get – together. She does not hesitate to go out and network, although at times, she has to forgo certain meetings if they are in the evening as she feels she has to be with her daughter at that time. Anamika admits that the Internet is a good networking tool if you have not gone back to full time work. She says that she even received an offer to translate a book; this only happened because “I was actively networking”. She feels that one does not have to go into office to network – not in today’s world. She adds, “It is your decision to make. You do not have to shut yourself off completely.” 

Face to face: Still makes a difference

Sairee Chahal, co-founder of Fleximoms agrees that being online has helped such mothers to actively network even while being away from work. The Internet allows one to stay on the radar, so to speak, but she is emphatic in her belief that it is not the same as a face to face conversation and meeting a person. She personally feels that online relationships cannot go very far. She says that when you meet a person, trust is built up and this can only happen when you actually meet that person, like at a networking dinner.

Sairee has a young child herself and has not given up networking but now chooses where she has to go. She also prioritizes. She herself has clearly seen the difference between being online and meeting a person. Sairee emphasizes,“Women DO need to network – whether they attend seminars or do it on a Saturday afternoon. It brings a new value completely to their lives. Your knowledge, your relationships keep on growing. Networking is not just about exchanging cards, but it’s also about building relationships, credibility and knowledge”. She admits that it is harder to network once you are out of the system and she feels that this is why it is all the more important for women to go out and do this. “Online gives it a boost but it cannot be a substitute for real networking,” she concludes.

Networking is not just about exchanging cards, but it’s also about building relationships, credibility and knowledge.

Planned and prioritized networking helps

Behroz Menon, the mother of a 3 year old, is an Executive Assistant at Pricewaterhouse Coopers, Mumbai. She has been with this company for 8 years and took six months maternity leave when her daughter was born. She was very sure that she wanted to go back to work after her baby was born. She says that she loved working for the company and more importantly it is a “very employee friendly firm and maintains a good work-life balance”. She realized that there would be problems initially but had planned and worked her way around them.

She says that earlier she might have attended all the events that could help her network, but now she weighs the options before going to one. For instance, she asks herself, “Am I required to do this, do I want to do this, will it add value to me?” If her answer to the above questions is yes, she attends the event. If she can avoid it, she does and spends that time with her toddler instead. Her career graph however, is pretty much on track as her company makes this possible. Her husband is also very supportive and she can always fall back on him to look after their son, if she has to go out and network.

Behroz’s advice to women in this dilemma is that they should try and work things out before deciding that motherhood is the end of networking. “Explore before you shut the door,” she says.

Motherhood should not be the end of networking, given the avenues available today. There are many opportunities out there, whether you go back to full time work or decide to freelance from home. But it does need some effort on your part to spend a few hours on yourself.

*Photo credit: Pressman

By Prerna Malik

Networking is key to boosting your professional growth or improving your business prospects. Whether you work in an organization or run your own show, you have to spend time interacting with people, both in person and via email or social networking sites.

Have you ever stopped to give a thought to how people may perceive you via your networking efforts?

Do you come across as the helpful team player you really are or do people think you’re nosy and bothersome? Do your emails upset your clients? Do your social media profiles tie in with your professional and business goals?

Yes, networking is important and how you network makes a huge difference to how people respond and react to you. Create a networking style that is authentic and appealing [...]]]> Networking is essential for career growth. However, are you networking the right way? Here are 5 common networking mistakes you should never make.

By Prerna Malik

Networking is key to boosting your professional growth or improving your business prospects. Whether you work in an organization or run your own show, you have to spend time interacting with people, both in person and via email or social networking sites.

Have you ever stopped to give a thought to how people may perceive you via your networking efforts?

Do you come across as the helpful team player you really are or do people think you’re nosy and bothersome? Do your emails upset your clients? Do your social media profiles tie in with your professional and business goals?

Yes, networking is important and how you network makes a huge difference to how people respond and react to you. Create a networking style that is authentic and appealing by avoiding these 5 common networking mistakes:

1. Using the wrong body language and tone

Networking in person at events, meetings and conferences can be a great way to meet potential employers and prospective clients. However, if your body language comes across as overbearing or aggressive, you’ll only end up driving people away. Lata Goenka Kedia, Founder and Image Director at Maximum Effect Image Consultants says, “Respect body space and don’t hog people.” Using too many gestures, loud talking or moving in too close to a person can put off people and be disastrous for your networking efforts.

Conversation too is vital. Whether you’re talking online or offline, how you converse makes a world of difference to your networking abilities and success. Do your emails have letters in CAPS? Do you use pleasantries before jumping into dry business details? When you talk to someone, are you curt or is your voice warm and welcoming?

The best way to know whether you’re making this networking mistake is to ask for feedback from others – a professional business consultant, trusted friends, colleagues or even, family members. Ask them to read your email or social media updates and give you feedback on phone conversations.

Whether you’re talking online or offline, how you converse makes a world of difference to your networking abilities and success.

2. Networking only when you want to

Are you networking only to promote yourself or only when you want to? Is your online or offline conversation only about you, you and more you? Well, chances are that people are no longer listening. Networking only to sell will never help you actually sell anything. Sarika Gupta Bhattacharya, Founder and Director of Altavis and BizDivas puts is best when she says, “Avoid hard selling or even selling while networking… focus on helping and building a connection or relationship.”

Networking should be about helping another person and not about helping yourself. Your communication should reflect your desire to actually build a professional relationship with the other person. Garvita Chaturvedi, Executive Coach and HR Specialist at Altavis Pvt. Ltd, feels one should, “Focus on finding out areas of common interest rather than talking about your own product/service.”

Networking only when you want to is a mistake that most people make and this sends out the message that you’re not serious about your network and only want to ‘use’ them. And trust me, no one likes to be used. So, make networking an integral part of your everyday life and you’ll be surprised to see the benefits flow in.

3. Not respecting personal boundaries

Do you contact people whenever you want to? Call them at inappropriate hours or drop by their offices without prior appointments? Bhattacharya stresses the importance of asking for permission to contact people over the phone and also, ask for convenient times to call. Yes, life is busy for everyone and no one likes to be bothered by calls and meetings that aren’t scheduled and planned. So, before you pick up that phone, check to see if the time is appropriate and if possible, send an email to set up a convenient time to chat. 

4. Spamming your network

Unfortunately, not many of us realize that we’re spamming our carefully cultivated network when we send out mass emails, tweets or posts simply talking about our latest product, event or promotion. All the time. Sure, you can reach out to your network to share your business, but if you do it too often, people will lose interest and will no longer want to stay connected with you. A good rule is to have a healthy mix of business, general and personal updates. It is easier to exploit social media than engage with it, so review your last emails and social networking updates to see if you’re making this huge mistake.

5. Telling your network…everything

In an age where Facebook friends and Twitter followers are an integral part of our lives, it is easy to share everything with our network – from our latest product to the toothache you’re experiencing today. Don’t get carried away by the ease of social networking and use it to share EVERYTHING with your friends and followers. Why? Because you never know who may be listening to your online conversation.

A prospective employer may Google your name and come across your rant about a former co-worker on Facebook, using uncomplimentary language.

Treat your online conversations with the same respect and discretion as your offline interactions.

Treat your online conversations with the same respect and discretion as your offline interactions. Don’t ‘say’ anything that can impact your professional reputation in a negative way. A little tact, diplomacy and caution can go a long way in creating a professional network that works to your utmost advantage.

Networking in a way that reflects genuine concern and authenticity is what connects others to you. So, the next time you write an email or Facebook update or make a phone call, make sure that you aren’t making these networking gaffes and hurting your professional reputation.

What do you think are the networking mistakes that people make when connecting with others, online and offline?

*Photo credit: MichaelR

By Jaya Narayan

Leaders are expected to deal with challenge and adversity. Some situations that you may face as you rise up the hierarchy may include downsizing, mitigating business conflicts, re-structuring teams, shutting down offices and / or expanding turfs. Prameela Kalive, Senior Vice President at Zensar Technologies states, “For me being powerful is a state of mind”.

Position, charisma, relationship, information, expertise are sources that yield power. Being comfortable with power may require you to deal with your innermost fears. The need to be popular, not wanting to be singled out, being misunderstood or losing relationships may be the unintended consequences you need to work with.

Do men exert power differently compared to women at work? According to Krishna M, Senior Director in a multinational organization, “In my experience the key [...]]]> As a woman, are you able to embrace ‘power’ as you move up the hierarchy? Some tips to handle power with ease!

By Ruche M Mittal

Before I moved to Bangalore (after my marriage), I had been running my business for a year and a half. I had a team of 4 people at ideaPerfect Communication and during that time, I experienced many challenges such as managing a cash crunch, time management, team management, client handling and building a company culture.

At this stage, I felt that I needed to share my plans of growth and expansion with somebody, and at the same time wanted to discuss certain business questions that I felt I needed guidance on.

Why I needed a mentor

I already knew the problems and pain points in my business and also my own shortcomings, but I had no clue on how I could organize/arrange things better. Since I had to close my [...]]]> Women in India running their own businesses find that mentoring helps them address new challenges. A woman entrepreneur shares her story. 

By Ruche M Mittal

Before I moved to Bangalore (after my marriage), I had been running my business for a year and a half. I had a team of 4 people at ideaPerfect Communication and during that time, I experienced many challenges such as managing a cash crunch, time management, team management, client handling and building a company culture.

At this stage, I felt that I needed to share my plans of growth and expansion with somebody, and at the same time wanted to discuss certain business questions that I felt I needed guidance on.

Why I needed a mentor

I already knew the problems and pain points in my business and also my own shortcomings, but I had no clue on how I could organize/arrange things better. Since I had to close my unit in Kolkata and restart my work in Bangalore, I decided to use my time to not only explore the business culture and opportunities in Bangalore, but also find solutions to the problem and difficulties I experienced.

While one can talk to friends and family, there are times when you feel they are judging you or sometimes you don’t feel like sharing all your challenges with them; but with a mentor, the relationship is different. The entire relationship is based on a system where we know that we are both here to discuss challenges and shortcomings, mine as well as that of my business – and to explore solutions for the same.

The entire relationship is based on a system where we know that we are both here to discuss challenges and shortcomings…

I connected with my mentor through the Goldman Sachs 10000 Women program with ISB. I joined the program because I wanted to understand how other people look at business and business problems. I felt this was critical for me since I come from a design background and my understanding of business comes mainly from my exposure to others running businesses in my family.

ISB was a great platform to understand how business owners interpret the same problem in a different manner and derive solutions accordingly.

The mentoring program

The 10000 Women program is 3-month program where we have 3 weeks of classroom sessions in all, 1 week per month. We were assigned mentors during the first week and for the rest of the program we were to connect with our mentors and develop our business plans.

My mentor is Gopa Kumar, a soft skills trainer and a visiting faculty at ISB. I connect with my mentor once a month for an hour or two and apart from that, we talk on the phone as and when required. In times of emergency, he does give me more time.

I soon realized that Gopa was very different from me. I am more of a technology person while he keeps himself away from technology as much as possible; I come from a design background and he has nothing to do with that industry. But, the beautiful thing in our mentoring relationship is that when we brainstorm together, we write down our pointers and then discuss the same with an open mind and heart.

He never tells me, “Do this.” Instead, he leaves me with questions and helps me if I am limited by my own thinking. He would say, “Is there any other way of doing this?”

Since he does not come from my industry, his glass was empty, as in, he didn’t have any preconceived notions about my industry problems and would explore them in his own way. This leads to more learning.

Challenges with mentoring

Having gone through the experience of receiving mentoring, I feel the challenge in mentoring is to set the correct expectations. People think mentors are supposed to hold their hand and tell them what to do with their business, but it doesn’t work like that. In a mentor mentee relationship , it is the mentee who should drive the relationship and learning curve.

People think mentors are supposed to hold their hand and tell them what to do with their business, but it doesn’t work like that.

The real mentoring is where your mentor leaves you with questions and suggests other paths for you to explore. He or she is not supposed to tell you what to think or foist her own thoughts on you.

A mentor is meant to listen to what you have to say and to your questions and then leave you with a question to answer the same. He is a sounding board where you can go and talk and never feel judged.

I feel that mentoring is definitely a tool that can be used by business owners, especially if they are the sole decision makers on their business and feel like sharing their challenge and growth plans with someone else.

It is a way to reach someone who does not judge you, but listens to you with 100% attention and interest and helps you reach the solutions to your business problems.

*Photo credit: pennstatelive (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License)

By Sairee Chahal

The Indian IT and ITES industry employs anywhere between 1.5 to 2 million people. Coders or programmers form a big chunk of this pie. While it is one of the few sectors with a decent gender ratio at 25-30 percent, this begins to dwindle as women reach mid-careers.

Caregivers – working mothers, women supporting traveling spouses, taking care of the elderly, army wives leave as they need to assign equal attention to two primary responsibilites. Women professionals with an average of 7-8 years experience and care-giving duties come to a point where work needs to meet life better.

Skill or format: The key question facing most women who have IT, ITES, coding or related jobs is to change the skill or change the work format or both. Many are [...]]]> Careers for women in the IT industry often stop with 5-8 years of work experience. But, career transition from programming is possible.

By Sairee Chahal

The Indian IT and ITES industry employs anywhere between 1.5 to 2 million people. Coders or programmers form a big chunk of this pie. While it is one of the few sectors with a decent gender ratio at 25-30 percent, this begins to dwindle as women reach mid-careers.

Caregivers – working mothers, women supporting traveling spouses, taking care of the elderly, army wives leave as they need to assign equal attention to two primary responsibilites. Women professionals with an average of 7-8 years experience and care-giving duties come to a point where work needs to meet life better.

Skill or format: The key question facing most women who have IT, ITES, coding or related jobs is to change the skill or change the work format or both. Many are forced to change the skill, because the format can’t be changed.

IT careers for women: where are the opportunities?

The good news is that the world is your oyster, especially if you are stepping out of the IT and coding jobs. There are options not only in IT and related fields but outside of it as well, since the digital IT supported world is a reality we live in.

Let us quickly run through some key options:

- Tech Communications: More technology means more communication about technology. Organizations like The Writers Block have not only grown the space but also offer options to reskill yourself.

- User interface and design: In a world that worships UI, people with skill and competence stand a very good chance for coolness.

- Testing: If there is an industry out there writing applications and software, someone has to test and certify them. Organizations like QAI India, Pure Testing among others evangelize testing as a career option and host industry forums too.

- Mobile Applications: Did somone say that the coolest applications were written in a 9-6 office? No way! Mobile applications are communication and interface nodes for the smartphone generation and there is a huge eco-system of developers, designers and clients that is feeding this industry. To get a glimpse of this space, attend a Mobile Monday or a similar event.

- Digital: Digital agencies, social media companies, online marketing – all industries with few experienced, trained resources and one of the few that lend themselves to flex beautifully. Organizations like the Internet and Mobile Association of India are a good starting point to learn more. Social media, gaming, cloud computing, crowdsourcing, e-commerce are just some offshoots of this sector and this is the one growing at the fastest pace.

- Niche software: Sharepoint, WordPress, Drupal, Joomla, LMS – the space of niche software products and communities is evolving and offers many unconventional options for folks with primary coding skills.

- Support functions: Tech PR, tech recruitment, virtual desking – support the industry you know best, with the interest and skills you have.

- Research and writing: The Internet has enabled the virtual economy and extended options to freelancers. However, the space is a little unorganized and unpredictable. Define yourself within the largesse of the domain and position accordingly.

- Sales: The most understated option of them all – a career in tech sales offers the best growth with a fairly good work-life fit. An understanding of technology and the ability to manage customers is your ‘Brahmastra’ if a great workflex career is on your radar. Break out of the traditional definition of sales – IT product and service economy needs a superior level of selling and delivery skills and chances are you have it.

Making the transition from coding

The devil is in the format and not in the sector. Being in a corporate coding or project management set up is a fairly templatized or over templatized format of work. Support, teams, delivery – comes with a high degree of definition. This works great for organizational efficiency but for individual workers, it leaves little scope to manoeuver and makes it very hard to achieve a mid-career transition that is not in a similar format.

This is further aggravated by the lack of any workflex format in most programming, IT and project management set ups – within large or small companies. Typically no new workers are hired on flexible formats from the start, there is low modularity or granularity and the workflex experiments are limited to offering an occasional work from home or take your work home to existing teams.

The first reaction for anyone at a stage of mid-career transition or leaving the coding/IT space is a feeling of lack of options and helplessness.

This is of little help to the woman professional who now is also a primary caregiver – a working mother, has elderly folks at home, has a spouse with a hectic job or just a life to manage for the rest of the family. A large number of women professionals in the IT and programming industry drop out at this stage, owing to the inflexibilty of the system and lack of apparent options.

The first reaction for anyone at a stage of mid-career transition or leaving the coding/IT space is a feeling of lack of options and helplessness. But there are options and the good thing is they are growing. For woman professionals moving away from coding or project positions in IT centric set ups, the trick is in recognizing the basic reason for change and the place where you would like to take your career+personal life. Once there is clarity around that, it will allow you to decide on what potentially fits and what may not.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help at this point. Look at it this way, did we hesitate to ask for help when making decisions for our careers and lives first time round – say after school? Mid-career transitions are even more important, because there is a life to fit with them – and with people who need you the most.

*Photo credit: Ray_from_LA (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License)

By Jaya Narayan

India ranks 113 out of 134 countries in gender parity according to the World Economic Forum’s recent Global Gender Gap Index. This metrics is an indication of access to education and opportunities for Indian women compared to their counterparts in the rest of the world. Sairee Chahal, Co-founder, Fleximoms, shares, “Women not speaking up in family matters, not owning property or financial assets, not taking decisions related to relationships, careers, family and children add to the perception of lack of confidence”.

Priya Chetty Rajagopal, Vice President and Partner, Stanton Chase points out, “Education, exposure, mentoring, family support, organizational context and being an optimist are some factors that determine the level of confidence in people. In a similar cross section of urban and educated professionals, the confidence levels across gender are close, but bring [...]]]> Are you confident enough? What are the factors affecting confidence in Indian women? Some tips to improve your self-confidence!

By Jaya Narayan

India ranks 113 out of 134 countries in gender parity according to the World Economic Forum’s recent Global Gender Gap Index. This metrics is an indication of access to education and opportunities for Indian women compared to their counterparts in the rest of the world. Sairee Chahal, Co-founder, Fleximoms, shares, “Women not speaking up in family matters, not owning property or financial assets, not taking decisions related to relationships, careers, family and children add to the perception of lack of confidence”.

Priya Chetty Rajagopal, Vice President and Partner, Stanton Chase points out, “Education, exposure, mentoring, family support, organizational context and being an optimist are some factors that determine the level of confidence in people. In a similar cross section of urban and educated professionals, the confidence levels across gender are close, but bring up a crisis, and you see the great divide”.

Gender stereotypes are deeply ingrained and deep-rooted. Most Indian parents even today expect boys to be successful in the material world (‘taking the family name forward’) and girls to ‘dutifully’ meet role expectations of being a good daughter, the perfect wife, giving mother and sincere team member. As an outcome, Indian women tend to seek approval from significant people in their lives and suffer from self-induced guilt on claiming their space. Only a few women network, experiment with new behaviours, proactively seek opportunities and negotiate salaries all of which are associated with being confident.

Indian women tend to seek approval from significant people in their lives and suffer from self-induced guilt on claiming their space.

I conducted a small ‘Confidence Survey’ among 15 urban, educated Indian women, in the group of 25 – 40 years which included home-makers and working professionals, to get a clearer picture on this subject. According to this survey, the 3 main triggers affecting self-confidence are:

Unfavourable body image

It is all about how we feel about the way we look. Being constantly bombarded with the ‘perfect’ body image, triggers aspirations of ‘perfect’ (read fair) skin colour, ‘perfect’ figure (read size zero/hour-glass) and the works. According to the respondents of the confidence survey, “Being in the company of beautiful girls with perfect figures, being part of a group with no one giving me a second look, a pimple outburst or gaining weight” makes them feel rejected, impacting overall confidence levels.

Not living up to expectations

We have grown up with stories of Sita and Savitri, that applaud the self–sacrifice made by women for the greater good of others. A recent research study published by AC Nielsen, titled ‘Women of Tomorrow’, reports that women in India (87%) are most stressed/pressured for time. Our confidence survey validates that working mothers constantly feel a tug of war. “There is a dip in my confidence when the support system I require fails resulting in my inability to keep personal commitments and professional expectations to the best of my ability”, shared one woman who participated in the survey.

Self-blame

Sairee says, “A feeling of loss of control or chaos overtaking order may lead to a temporary dip”. This is described by women who have participated in the confidence survey as a time, “When things don’t go my way, when I am not able to find solutions or when I have certain expectations from myself and believe that I have not lived up to it”. Women have a propensity to internalize these situations and attribute it to their inability, lack of skills or something that they could have done better in the context.

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, in a TED talk states that there is a pattern amongst women to constantly underestimate themselves and their abilities. Is there a rainbow in sight? In Sairee’s experience, “Women have a quiet understated resilience which can be the big differentiator.” She adds, “After all in the long term, confidence stems from inner strength, long term goals, personal values and external support structure.”

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, in a TED talk states that there is a pattern amongst women to constantly underestimate themselves and their abilities. Is there a rainbow in sight?

Here are some tips on what you can do to feel more confident, irrespective of the circumstances. Sairee states, “Confidence is not only a mind game but also a state where the heart feels at peace – even if in the midst of chaos.”

Discover your passion

The simplest way is to find the one thing you love doing and investing time and energy in it. For one of the respondents, “For me, community service is my way to contribute to a bigger cause which makes me feel good and more capable”. For another, “Working full time has helped me in gaining an identity and financial independence which makes me feel good about myself”.

Invest in the “Me” Factor

In keeping with the demands of the various roles that women perform, stress inherently gets built-up impacting our sense of well-being. A respondent said, “Being a stay at home mother, though I am busier than what I would have been if I had worked, I hardly get time for myself”. It is essential to indulge in things that give you little pleasures. Working out, finding a hobby, the occasional pampering and spending ‘me’ time with friends could be some simple ways to experience well-being.

“Can do” attitude

It is very important to celebrate past successes. One respondent said, “When I am faced with a new situation, I reflect on similar problems that I have dealt with in the past and take some of those learnings forward”. It’s essential for women to be on a continuous learning curve, find a mentor who can act as a sounding board, have women role models who inspire us to be successful despite all odds. All these would help strengthen the ‘I can do anything mindset’ to deal with new / ambiguous or difficult situations with panache.

I would like to end with a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love; “You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” Expanding our personal boundaries and breaking gender stereotypes can surely enable us to be examples of positivity and confidence.

*Photo credit: spock1

By Chandrima Pal

Gone are the days when women moved to a new city, simply to follow their husbands. Women moving from one city to another for career reasons are not taboo anymore but it is still considered a daunting task that should be avoided if possible. A general lack of safety for single women coupled with the notion that a woman’s destiny is in marriage, only leads to anxious parents. No wonder then that the confidence of single women gets ruined through such overprotective and conservative family pressures. Nidhi S*, 23 is one such woman.

Keen on furthering her career, Nidhi had found a promising job in a city far away from home. Although it was not the first time that she was living away from her parents, she [...]]]> Career women today are often compelled to relocate. The story of one young woman, who overcame her fears and chose to begin anew. 

By Chandrima Pal

Gone are the days when women moved to a new city, simply to follow their husbands. Women moving from one city to another for career reasons are not taboo anymore but it is still considered a daunting task that should be avoided if possible. A general lack of safety for single women coupled with the notion that a woman’s destiny is in marriage, only leads to anxious parents. No wonder then that the confidence of single women gets ruined through such overprotective and conservative family pressures. Nidhi S*, 23 is one such woman.

Keen on furthering her career, Nidhi had found a promising job in a city far away from home. Although it was not the first time that she was living away from her parents, she still had to handle the objections of her parents, who were worried about letting their daughter go. Her mother got very tensed and started cajoling her to find some job in their hometown or in cities nearby. Her relatives tried to convince her that it is not worth going so far ‘just for work’. They kept giving her advice on getting married and then to have a bodyguard for all these adventures. Eventually all the negativity got to her and Nidhi also started feeling angry and depressed. She began to have second thoughts and started worrying about things such as finding an accommodation in the new city, which is well known for its space scarcity and travelling daily in crowded public transportation.

Her relatives tried to convince her that it is not worth going so far ‘just for work’. They kept giving her advice on getting married and then to have a bodyguard for all these adventures.

But she did not give up. Instead she started finding her way forward through some simple but effective steps.

Reach out to old friends in the new place 

Technology has indeed shrunk the world and staying connected with friends is no longer difficult. Nidhi got in touch with her friends who were living in the new city and updated herself about the lifestyle and vibe of the city. She realized that despite cribbing about the heavy traffic and high living costs, her friends were happy to be living there and that cheered her up considerably. To offset her expenses she decided to find an accommodation near her office.

Allaying the fears of parents 

Being assured by her friends Nidhi spoke patiently with her mother and explained her dissatisfaction in her old job and how her new job could bring in new opportunities of learning. She reasoned that she had indeed tried applying for all suitable job positions nearer to home, but they did not work out. After a lot of discussion her parents’ attitude changed and they too started seeing things in a new light; the others did not matter to Nidhi. They reached a compromise wherein Nidhi’s father offered to accompany her initially, so that he would also get a better perspective about the place and the office of Nidhi.

Before beginning the journey 

As Nidhi’s office did not provide her with guest accommodation, she booked herself into a well-rated hotel after some research on popular travel websites. The remaining days flew by with Nidhi busying herself; buying train tickets, packing and repacking her stuff and understanding the geography of the new city through google maps. Nidhi was particularly glad that she had saved some money, which she could use while relocating. She also made sure that her friends would be around to help her out in the first few days.

More resources on travel websites: Make My Trip, Yatra

On reaching there 

Arriving at her destination, Nidhi soon realized that staying on her own meant that there there was so much to learn and to discover! Having her friends as well as her father around was a big relief. Since the initial days at work were not too tight, she spent time exploring various restaurants and getting a feel of the city, which was to become her home soon. The biggest dilemma was finding a nice place to stay. A deluge of choices as well as details such as advance payments and commissions to slick agents with no strict laws governing them, in addition to her father’s departure, all made her terribly homesick.

More resources on restaurant reviews: Burrp, Times Of India, Zomato, Tripadvisor

Finally a place to live 

After sifting through numerous ads offering a range of accommodation options, Nidhi finally decided to share a room in a reputable PG. Sharing her room with another is not new to Nidhi. But Nidhi has started noticing the differences in sharing during her college days (where her roommates had become her family in 4 years) and now. Now the sharing is more formal and less intense.

Nidhi knows that roommates will always keep changing; but after long hours of work, she is happy to come back and see some other friendly faces equally tired. They bond by relaxing while watching TV and eating their home-delivery or cooking something in a jiffy. Her roommates are new to her but the interactions and fun are not. She is at ease now and continued making friends, enjoying weekend shopping  and most of all long distance calls to her family back home.

More resources on accommodation & shopping choices: Sulekha, Magic Bricks, Accomodation in Mumbai, Snap Deal

By Anne John

I was living the Indian Software Engineer dream. Selected early on by a reputed IT MNC during campus recruitment even before I finished my graduation, offered a hefty salary, with promises of a friendly and open work culture and exciting opportunities for travelling abroad – it seemed like I had it all. I had every reason to be happy. But strangely, I always felt that something was missing.

Knowing what I wanted from my career

Today, people ask me, “When did you get interested in Journalism?” My interest goes a long way back. When I read Lavanya’s interview, it felt like she was echoing my sentiments! Although I too was a good student, I never excelled at anything; until that fateful day, in 8th grade, when my English teacher [...]]]> Choosing to chase your dreams is not always easy. Here are the tradeoffs and challenges that came along with my career shift.

By Anne John

I was living the Indian Software Engineer dream. Selected early on by a reputed IT MNC during campus recruitment even before I finished my graduation, offered a hefty salary, with promises of a friendly and open work culture and exciting opportunities for travelling abroad – it seemed like I had it all. I had every reason to be happy. But strangely, I always felt that something was missing.

Knowing what I wanted from my career

Today, people ask me, “When did you get interested in Journalism?” My interest goes a long way back. When I read Lavanya’s interview, it felt like she was echoing my sentiments! Although I too was a good student, I never excelled at anything; until that fateful day, in 8^th grade, when my English teacher singled me out and praised my work. That is when I began to actually believe, that maybe I was capable of shining at something. But I had still not made up my mind completely, by the time we were supposed to choose our streams in the 11^th grade and so I chose what seemed to be the most popular one – science. As the months rolled by, it became clear to me that this was not for me. It’s not that I found it extremely difficult – rather, I was extremely bored.

Once I finished school, a bitter battle raged at home, when I joined a prominent Arts college to pursue English Literature instead of Engineering. There was such a hue and cry that I finally gave in, dropped out and joined Engineering instead.

I worked for four years in the IT industry in a wonderful company. I learnt a lot, did my work sincerely, made a few great friends, travelled to a handful of countries and grew as a person. But there was not a single day that I got out of bed looking forward to go to work. There was not one instance where I felt that I should contribute more than what was expected of me. After a while, it dawned on me that the main thing I liked about my job was the month end pay slip. When I had a choice to move to another country with my husband, I took it and did not feel the least bit of remorse that I was quitting a lucrative career. In fact, all I felt was freedom!

Taking baby steps towards my dream career

Once we had moved and settled down into married life, my husband encouraged me to follow my dreams. But the once-earning-and-standing-on-my-own-feet part of me could not bear to make him pay for my studies. So I pooled in all the settlement money from my previous company and joined a long-distance journalism course. I was not sure if I possessed the discipline and dedication to study from home, but I found myself waiting eagerly for the lessons and plunged into the assignments with gusto.

As my course was nearing completion, I started hunting for writing opportunities. Of course, I would have loved to land a position with some “famous” publication – but I did not harbour any illusions. Realistically, I knew that I would face stiff competition from other journalists my age who would have hands-on experience as well as exposure. Being in a country whose language was alien to me did not help my cause either.

I was not sure if I possessed the discipline and dedication to study from home, but I found myself waiting eagerly for the lessons and plunged into the assignments with gusto.

During the course of my browsing, I came across Women’s Web, quite accidentally (Providence?!) and liking what I saw, soon became a regular reader. It was then that I noticed that Women’s Web, welcomed book  reviews from contributors. Grabbing at every possible straw, I took a shot and sent in a few reviews to the Editor. Imagine my delight, when they were published!

As fate would have it, Women’s Web was on the lookout for an intern. I applied and got it.  This opportunity soon grew into a full-time position, allowing me to start my career in my chosen field.

Rethinking priorities and accepting compromises

I was fortunate enough to not have any pressing financial responsibilities to fulfil; therefore I could afford to take the risk of a career switch. Still, the transition has not been easy. Being a beginner in this field, understandably, my bank account is considerably lighter than it would have been had I stuck on in IT. My parents have yet to come to terms with the fact that their daughter chose to ditch a handsome career for a relatively lower-paying job.

The fact that I work from home in my pyjamas only adds fuel to the fire! It can be highly distracting when people assume that I am simply whiling away time and stop by for chats. I realized that to begin with, I needed to give due importance to my work. Then I started explaining to people, firmly but politely that I had work to be done. Initially I was rewarded with surprised looks but slowly the seriousness of ‘work’ has started sinking in. Also, for many years, I had worked in a team environment, whereas now, it is just I, me and myself! Although it suits my temperament, sometimes it does tend to get a little isolated. But technology has shrunk the world, and when I get lonely, it is easy for me to pick up the phone and call up a friend.

When working from home, demarcating work and personal time is quite a challenge, especially when my profession and personal hobbies like reading and writing overlap! It is essential to consciously carve out some time to do things unrelated to work in order to feel refreshed and open up your mind for new ideas.

When working from home, demarcating work and personal time is quite a challenge, especially when my profession and personal hobbies like reading and writing overlap.

To be frank, when I see my friends climb the corporate ladder with fancy designations, buying posh houses, racing in fast cars, eating at upscale restaurants regularly and vacationing at exotic destinations, I sometimes do wonder if perhaps, I made a mistake.

When I see my husband slogging away at work to meet a major part of our joint expenses, and coming home exhausted because of working overtime, I feel guilty for making him pay the price of me following my dreams. I am at a loss to explain what passion is, to some people who say, “You are doing this simply for time-pass right?”

At peace with my career change

Every night I go to bed looking forward to my tasks for the next day eagerly. Every day I log on to work with the same excitement that I felt the very first day. Now I work because I want to, not because I have to. Of course, I have my off days too, when I don’t feel like working, but they don’t last long and when I get published, I feel so satisfied. When I read the comments that come in and see the number of ‘likes’ and ‘shares’, when I realize that I can strike a chord with others with my words , that I can bring about some change however small it might be, I feel elated.  And I feel assured that I will never regret my decision.

Pic credit: qisur (Used under a Creative Commons Attributions license)

By Chitra Iyer

Socializing outside office is an important part of one’s career development strategy. There is no doubt that building strong relationships keeps one in the ‘mind space’ of colleagues and seniors who may one day recommend us for jobs, give references or direct critical opportunities our way. The good old ‘going golfing with my boss’, Friday evening drinks at the local bar, or officially sponsored ‘off-sites’ are all good examples of networking opportunities, and participating comes easily to men. However, for women professionals who may also be mothers or caretakers, these could be fraught with reservations and doubts. All of us have probably faced some of these dilemmas at some stage in our career.

To go or not to go for after-work team-building sessions? To drink or not to drink with office colleagues? [...]]]> Do the limitations on socializing at and outside work make Indian working women lose out in today’s workplaces?

By Chitra Iyer

Socializing outside office is an important part of one’s career development strategy. There is no doubt that building strong relationships keeps one in the ‘mind space’ of colleagues and seniors who may one day recommend us for jobs, give references or direct critical opportunities our way. The good old ‘going golfing with my boss’, Friday evening drinks at the local bar, or officially sponsored ‘off-sites’ are all good examples of networking opportunities, and participating comes easily to men. However, for women professionals who may also be mothers or caretakers, these could be fraught with reservations and doubts. All of us have probably faced some of these dilemmas at some stage in our career.

To go or not to go for after-work team-building sessions? To drink or not to drink with office colleagues? To dress up or dress down at an industry cocktail event? To discuss ‘personal stuff’ with colleagues or not, and to what extent? Outside the workspace, the boundaries between corporate and social culture tend to blur. Protocol becomes a matter of discretion and judgment. So, what exactly is the relationship between our networking behaviour as women professionals in India and our long-term career outcomes?

Well, there are no clear answers, unfortunately! But it is a fact that some degree of socialization and ‘visibility’ is necessary for any professional, irrespective of gender. Good relationships within and outside office help get things done, because relationships still drive people to deliver. Minal Sharma-Vadodaria, a corporate executive turned entrepreneur says, “Socializing does two things – build relationships and open new doors.  Socializing shouldn’t be confused with pleasing your seniors to work your way up. I have personally got some critical career breaks because of my strong network and credibility in the industry”.

Socializing opens doors – just a little wider

Whatever the reason for socializing – getting ahead at work, networking for new jobs, or gaining visibility in one’s industry – there will be trade-offs. We need to make considered and conscious choices based on the type of industry, company culture, role, level and function we are in; we also need clarity on what we are willing to do to achieve success in our context. Riddhi Wallia, Founder-CEO of a decade old media-relations firm has always been self-employed. She does not feel women ‘have to’ socialize to get ahead and access more career opportunities. She has consciously kept her after-work hours sacrosanct, while admitting that women who make this choice may not have access to as many career opportunities, especially in an age where everything is about ‘who you know’. “You need to know what you want and more importantly how much you need. Once you are confident of the answers to those questions, you can rest assured that standing out and away from the norm is not such a bad thing after all”, she concludes.

Managers do understand the difference between candidates who make a choice to be less social and those who lack social skills. Today there are several options to supplement low ‘face-time’ with virtual visibility – being active on company blogs or intranets, participating in industry events virtually via webinars; staying in touch with old colleagues and managers via professional networking websites like Linkedin etc. In addition, structured socializing opportunities like company off-sites and industry events enable us to plan and allocate time for this important activity without spending money or compromising on family time.

Does your gender impact your socializing?

Rashi Mittal, a former corporate executive and now an entrepreneur feels that “Women do need to socialize to get access to more career opportunities, but not necessarily any more than men need to. There are just more ‘opportunities’ for social engagement available to men than there are for women; say for example the post-work drink at a pub may not be an option for a woman. Women may be restricted to structured off-sites or get-togethers, and to catch up with the men, they need to make the most of every opportunity they get”.

Ultimately everyone wants a valuable player on the team as well as a ‘team player’. It is up to us to strike the balance. Jaishri Shivaram, a senior corporate executive with over 20 years of work experience believes, “Socializing may not be a stairway to one’s career but does strengthen bonds and bring in ease in a working relationship – which is not to be misunderstood as making the relationship totally informal. So while a woman might socialize, controlling the ‘formality’ in a working relationship with another colleague is still something she can exercise”.

What has your experience been? Share your tips on networking for career women with other readers.