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Who doesn’t love a gift for no reason? We love surprise gifts but here is the trick to getting surprise gifts right.
By Tranquil Samuel
This post has been sponsored by Shopper’s Stop.
Surprises – there are many kinds out there. The English author, Thomas Hardy said, “Happiness is but the occasional episode in a general drama of pain.” And no doubt, it is the many surprises that life throws at us which contributes to this drama of pain. Most people, not surprisingly, are very guarded in their response to the question, “Do you like surprises?”
However, a surprise gift is a different matter altogether. While we all love unexpected gifts, the female gender of our species have somehow garnered a reputation of having a special fondness for them. But, surprise, surprise! Men equally love surprise gifts; only, most of them would rather die first than admit to it, for some reason that is peculiar to their gender!
A surprise gift, however, is a success subject to a few conditions. The first is that the gift must demonstrate that the giver has an unmistakable understanding of the receiver’s personality. It would be giving a surprise of the wrong kind if you were to gift your wife an ornate piece of jewellery when her tastes run to understated elegance.
Another element that heightens the pleasure of receiving a surprise gift is the attention given to detail, while choosing the gift. A Filipino woman, whose great passion is to sew historical garments, was astounded into a jaw-dropping silence when she was gifted a book, by her husband, about the embroidery techniques of the 18th century. “I didn’t expect him to pay attention to my babbling, especially about sewing. One more stroke of his character was revealed to me that day,” she says.
The surprise need not be the gift alone, but also in the way it is presented. A man in Trivandrum, who was very interested in an antique drop down desk, saw one, restored to near-perfection, in an old furniture shop. He made about 4 to 5 trips to the shop, clicked pictures, but never went beyond dreaming about it – the formidable price-tag holding him back. On his birthday, his wife visited the shop and called to inform him that the desk had already been sold. The man’s disappointment was deep; however, not for long. The next day, the desk was delivered to him at his doorstep.
According to his wife, he was speechless for a long time, and after the desk was duly assigned its corner in his room, he kept touching the desk almost reverentially, adjusted and readjusted his things on it, in which actions his wife read a big “Thank you.”
The surprise gift could be something as simple as a rose. It is the unexpected, coupled with the thought that someone set aside five minutes (and five minutes is not insignificant in our busy world), to simply say that “I care.” And if you really think about it, even a baby uttering “Mama” for the very first time can be a wonderful surprise gift for the mother.
Of course, sometimes well-meaning surprises can go awry. There has been many a Jim who sold his watch to surprise his Della with an array of expensive combs, only to find that Della had sold her abundant and beautiful hair in order to surprise him with a platinum chain for his watch, as in the story, “The gift of the Magi,” by O. Henry. But then, as they say, it is not really the gift, but the thought behind it that counts.
Pic credit: asenat29 (Used under a Creative Commons License)
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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