Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Nurturing relationships is crucial, says this working mother - whose daughter taught her a lesson that she will never forget!
Nurturing Relationships
Nurturing relationships is crucial, says this working mother – whose daughter taught her a lesson that she will never forget!
By Barnita De
All relationships, however near or dear, need nurturing!
When my elder daughter was 2 years old, she taught me a lesson of a lifetime.
I was having one of those “high pressure IT project delivery” phases in office, keeping late nights and working weekends. Suddenly my daughter fell sick. It was pretty bad; it took a while for the doctor to realize what was wrong and necessitated multiple tests and trips to the nursing home for drips. After she recovered, she went through a low patch. She was refusing food, started behaving erratically, threw lots of tantrums and every request was met with a “no”. It took almost 3 months for her to get back to normal. During this time she had me worried.
I was puzzled by my child’s behaviour. I often wondered why she was doing this and how long it would continue… I also noticed that she preferred having her food or a change of dress from the maid rather than from me. Why? After all I am her mother and the maid only a paid care-giver. It took me quite a while to realize that it was her small way of “paying back” – avenging my inability as a working mother to give her enough time and attention.
I did not realize that a 2 year old child would think that her mother is neglecting her or does not love her.
Due to work pressures I was unable to give her and our home much time and attention. Whatever time I did manage at home, I would rather rest or look into other household chores. I “assumed” that she would be fine; she would “understand” that mother is busy, mentally not really “present”, too overburdened with work. I did not realize that a 2 year old child would think that her mother is neglecting her or does not love her. When I did realize it, I started being friendly with her, requesting to play games with her, spending as much time with her as possible. It took a whole 3 months of my efforts to get her to “like” me!
My mistake – I took a relationship for “granted”. I did not know that such a close relationship also needs nurturing… all the time!
I have also observed other relationships and experienced some. To sustain relationships over a period of a time, you need to nurture them. Give them your mindshare. Visit people living near you/ in your city occasionally. Phone calls for the “personal touch”, especially on special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries are essential for relatives or friends living in other cities. And from personal experience, always reach out to people in times of bereavement. If you have stood by someone in times of need and sorrow, that means a world to them. Till date I remember clearly all the people who called or came on the day my father passed away. And that was 17 years ago.
To sustain relationships over a period of a time, you need to nurture them.
In the age of social media wired relationships, posting photos and “liking” pictures on Facebook is not enough. The personal touch and the sincerity of your communications matter. Just by potting a plant, don’t expect it to flourish and bear you fruits. It needs the care and nurturing, the regular watering and pruning. Then see it flourish!
Nurture relationships, they will make a world of difference!
*Photo credit: Mydaas! (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)
Women's Web is a vibrant community for Indian women, an authentic space for us to be ourselves and talk about all things that matter to us. Follow us via the read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
Please enter your email address