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How did you feel about the end of pregnancy? Even as the bond of motherhood continues, did you miss being pregnant?
Bond of motherhood
How did you feel about the end of pregnancy? Even as the bond of motherhood continues, did you miss being pregnant? Vidhya Devanathan for December’s writing theme, ‘Endings’.
Vidhya in her own words: I am a home-maker and a mother of 2 kids aged 5 and 2. I love reading and telling stories to my kids.
Endings are always a valued experience. Whether it be the end of the night or of the day, the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder….This is the story of one such “Ending”, which left me with a mixed bag of emotions.
The gift of motherhood came to me after a long wait (though, now when I look back 4 years doesn’t seem too long). Due to my complicated pregnancy, I did not have all the fun that is available to some mothers. It was the ‘hospital-check/up-home-back to hospital’ kind. But I did have my share of enjoyment during those moments which only a mother with her first child can experience.
The novelty of feeling the kicks of the baby and that of seeing the baby in different postures during the scan never seemed to wear off. When the date of my C-section was fixed it was a strange feeling for me. I brushed it off thinking it was just my nerves.
The day of the C-section dawned. I was taken to the OT. My tension was gradually reaching its peak. Thankfully I had a very friendly medical team around me. I was sedated. The local anesthesia worked its magic. I began to relax. For the first time I felt the importance of something which was going to end right then. I was cut open. I witnessed the process as though it was happening to someone else. The bump in my belly was pushed down. And then I heard it – his first cry. My son was out.
I couldn’t express my feelings. I thought it was the numbness of joy. But in my heart I knew – something had ended there. It was our one to one bond. Till then he alone knew how my heart beat and only I could feel his presence inside me. To everyone else it was a heard fact, but for us it was an existing reality. At that moment I wished I had kept him inside me for a few more days to enjoy the companionship which no one else could share.
Since that first moment of holding my son in my hand I have had many splendid times with him. But I still long for that one to one bond which ended on that fine day and gave way for a new beginning of life long attachment.
Pic credit: MyTudut (Used under a Creative Commons license)
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
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