8 years of womensweb

This Valentine’s Day, Make It About You

Posted: February 13, 2014

As women, we are trained to juggle, to multi-task, to take care of others. This Valentine’s Day, how about resolving to celebrate yourself for a change?

This Valentine’s day, soak in the love and adore the person you are. Celebrate yourself, connect with your inner self and nourish your soul. Relish the moments you are the happiest, rekindle your passion and put your needs in the limelight. Dust yourself from the sidelines and join the frontlines with renewed vigour.

As women, we often nudge, push and shove our pleasures to the shadows, that we often forget they exist. On this Valentine’s Day, make a pact with yourself to bring them back to focus. It is about time you devoted a part of your life to yourselves. By nurturing yourself, you will stimulate your relationships and the effects will simply multiply. Wondering how to begin, here are some simple tactics that will propel you forward.

Put yourself as a priority

As women, we are great jugglers. We excel at multi-tasking. Often, we are working towards completing tasks that are beneficial to others or to the whole family. We spend so much time tackling the mundane chores that we don’t have enough time to invest on us. But that is all in the past. Move yourself to the center. Carve out some “me” time.

Stop giving excuses and simply stop checking your gadgets. Focus on what is important to you on this time. Hold this time as your holy grail that replenishes yourself daily. Over time, even if you miss having this every day you won’t regret it, but try very hard to slot it in. My “me” time is an hour every day when I do something that is devoted to only me.

No dishes, laundry or house cleaning. No tackling deadlines or crossing out chores. No matter how I spend this hour, knowing that I have this time for just myself makes me extremely content with life.

Set your goals

What do you want to get done by this month, this year? An organized wardrobe, enrolling in classes or hitting the gym? Write down each of these goals and make a detailed plan to focus on them every day. You will be amazed at how simply writing them down makes them highly attainable. We remember to schedule haircuts for the kids but what about ourselves? If something as banal as this does not find a way into our lives, what about our bigger aspirations and loftier goals?

This is the year I want to learn to paint. It is a weekly 2 hour class and I have found a way to squeeze it into my packed weekday. I am not sure if this is going to be rewarding but it quenches my lifelong desire to wield a brush. That feeling is good enough. What are your goals? Are you doing something tangible this year to accomplish them?

Chase your dreams

Your dreams are different from your goals. The dreams keep you awake; the goals let you sleep soundly. The dreams spark in the middle of the day, in a conversation or by looking at a picture. The goals are forever running in your mind in background mode.

What are your dreams? List them. Want to travel to the corners of the world? Write a book? Visit your ancestral village? Work for charity? Adopt a child? What fuels your life and sculpts your passion? Just understanding your life’s purpose is almost as good as working towards it.

Stop pretending

As women, we are trained to join the herd. We better fit in rather than stand out. You don’t want to be noticed, that means trouble. Don’t wear lipstick to work that sends the wrong signal to your colleagues. Don’t straighten your hair – that hints you are too modern; don’t wear a saree – that is simply old fashioned.

From the time we are born, we have these voices hovering over our ears instructing and obstructing every step we take. Silence them and shut them out. What do you want to do and wear? Have the spunk to brazenly stand up for yourself. That is real strength and will shush the cacophony crowding your life.

Be free

To be truly strong, you also have to do some hard work. Before you complain about anything, understand how it is done. Can you get it done more efficiently? If you can, don’t be afraid. Grab the wheels and race through. Learn to be independent.

My husband often complained about the expensive holidays we wanted to take but never actually took. I thought he was simply being miserly until I took over as CFO of the house. He was right. We couldn’t afford those European Lake Como vacations. But I also found ways we could save make sacrifices and went on a budget. We vacation every quarter and I hold the reins to the purse – That is simply exhilarating. Try to be on your feet most of the time; you only have to lean on when you can’t stand by yourself.

Pamper yourself

Yes, take that spa day now. Set a movie date with your girlfriends. Grab an afternoon coffee with the book you have forever wanted to read. Your time is now and here. Don’t wait for divine intervention, just schedule it already.

This year vow to move from the backseat to the front wheel. If there is a chance to do something for you, grab it with both hands without feeling guilty. Everything else, except you, can wait.

Pic credit: Navy blue stripes (Used under a Creative Commons license)

Meera R Corera (@meeraramanathan) is a freelance writer and blogger focusing on all things India —

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