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With all the Bollywood celebrities marrying people of varied ages, this man from Mysore wants a much younger 'non-feminist' wife too. So he says in a matrimonial ad.
Why does feminism scare some men so much? This man from Mysore wants a much younger ‘non-feminist’ wife and has even issued rape threats to feminists.
My Sunday chai is always enjoyed with the matrimonial section of the newspaper. Not because, I am looking for a life partner (crossed that bridge), but because of the unintended humour in them.
The ‘Brides Wanted’ section is always the most funny part and if you read it regularly, you will know that most men in our country want a girl with ‘modern thinking but traditional values’, homely, ‘Gori’, beautiful, slim and talented.
Translation – They want a working woman, who will come back and cook food at home, keep her opinions to herself and will look like she has walked out of a salon this very minute.
However, these ads have become even more ludicrous now. A recent one, which started a discussion on Twitter actually had a criteria that the potential bride should be a ‘non –feminist’. The photo of this ad was put up by a blogger and as expected, the ad gained the right amount of popularity (or notoriety) that it deserved. The comments section was flooded with women questioning the potential bridegroom’s sanity and rightly so.
The ad which is actually pretty hilarious, mentioned that while the man is 37 years old, he wants the woman to be 26 years or less. It’s obvious that he wants to have a young and impressionable wife who he can easily dominate (not that age gap itself is the issue, but the desire for a much younger woman is ominous).
As per the comments section, a woman mailed him on his tongue twister like email ID to let him know how offensive the ad was. Not surprisingly, the response was a violently expressed rape threat (we are not sharing it here given how abusive and graphic the language was). If the ad was not proof enough, this incident confirms that this man has the caveman mentality which makes him think that he has been given a natural weapon between his legs which he should use unabashedly to subjugate women.
Frankly, I don’t blame him. I blame his upbringing, his education, his society, which over the years has taught him that he is the superior gender. He thinks that he has the right to demand and it’s the duty of women to serve him. He therefore is threatened by a concept like ‘Feminism’ which questions the patriarchal thinking of our society and demands equality in opportunities and prospects. He fears that if he has to share his life with a woman who believes in this equality, then she will prove to him that by no means does his gender make him a more evolved species.
The sad truth is that this person will find a woman who would probably fit his exacting standards and will live out a life of a timid, quiet and non-demanding wife. If they have a girl she will be bought up with the thinking that she has been put on this earth to only serve men and not have any threatening qualities like freedom, strong opinions or the need to fight against the yoke of male tyranny.
If they have a boy, we will see the same ad a few decades later again.
Image Source – Pexels
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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