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Who are the good girls? What are the many challenges they face for being good in this society. This poem says it all.
Who are the good girls? What are the many challenges they face for being considered ‘good’ in this society? This poem says it all.
Be a ‘good girl’ is all she had heard-
It made sense, good is a virtuous word
She did not know that being good came
With strings attached, all the same
The parameters of being good had much to do
With her gender, though she lacked a clue
For in her naive world-view good was defined
By honesty, industry and purity of mind
Regardless of gender, these qualities were universal-
But,
She was not expected merely to be good, but a ‘good girl’
This juxtaposition of words implied so much more
Weighty expectations that she had to endure
**
Good girls should be seen, but not really heard
No uproarious laughter, no loud word
Should escape their mouths, she was told
They should step daintily, not have a stride bold..
Back off quickly in intellectual discourse
Never state their opinions with much force
(Mind you, these rules were for girls who were given
Similar to male counterparts, a liberal education)
Obeying your elders good upbringing signified
So she suppressed her rebellious streak and complied
Though in front of these rules she could not resign
Herself completely, may be she just was not destined
To be the “good girl” who would in due course transform
Into a well-mannered lady with old-fashioned charm.
Raised in a family with ideas fairly modern
Where education was not a subject of discrimination
She eventually ended up highly qualified
In a male-dominated field, which she entered with pride
Though confident in her abilities, she quickly realized
Behaving in her ‘good girl’ ways would be ill-advised-
She would change her walk to a long, confident stride
Speak clearly and loudly, be assertive; she did decide
It was not easy to break the stereotype in which she
Had been typecast for so long, she thought bitterly
At every step she heard her conditioning chide
Her for not being a good girl, letting her manners slide.
Progress was slow but she managed to
Keep her head high in her workplace too
Stereotyping was dangerous- she had learnt
She resolved never again to get burnt.
Previously published here.
Image source Unsplash
I am a woman, a physician, a mother and an aspiring writer rolled into one. I write about various aspects of my life, and my preferred form of writing is poetry (or rhyming verses). read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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