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Women are judged in society for speaking about sex and sexuality, and labelled 'sluts'. This often results in women using a pseudonym for writing erotica. Time to have a hard look at this?
Women are judged in society for speaking about sex and sexuality, and labelled ‘sluts’. This often results in women using a pseudonym for writing erotica. Time to have a hard look at this?
Women in Indian society have often faced repression and criticism whenever they have tried to express their sexual desires or sexuality. There are a few Bollywood movies that talks about female sexuality but some are banned, some are censored. Our society often questions women about their moralities, indecency, and obscenity thus, sexual freedom is eventually truncated.
Sex is a subject that everyone finds interesting, but when talked about it in public, people consider it a “taboo”. People in our society like to read erotica as it is one of the popular genres in reading and actually doesn’t matter whoever writes it, but if the reader sees that it’s a female writer, they are surprised and many thoughts pop up into their mind. Isn’t it?
People tend to think that erotica is all about sex. Yes, it does include sex, but then it has a strong storyline, a good plot and a good number of characters as well. It’s like any other novel or a book!
A female erotica writer needs to deal with many trolls on social media. It becomes essential to stand up to such trolls as we need to break the stereotype!
See, girls, we do write many articles related to social issues, relationships, travel, fashion, lifestyle, and so on with our own identity but why do we fear writing an erotica? Even if we start writing it, we are not sure of whether to give it for publishing or not. And then one more question presents itself: if we give it for publication, can we give our own identity? And the answer comes “NO”.
There are many female erotica writers who hide their identity for publishing their erotica.
Girls, you are not doing anything wrong, be proud of what you are writing, doesn’t matter if it’s erotica. If you love writing erotica and you are good at it, go for it! Give readers a chance to read yours with your own individual name!
We tend to choose a pseudonym as we fear judgment from the family as well as society. We feel when we hide our identity we can express ourselves better, we have that freedom of expression. We actually need to let our kinky side loose and make efforts to write more erotica because if we like it we should do it.
Rosalyn D’Mello, who has authored many erotic stories and has edited an anthology of women’s erotica, says, “A pen name allows you artistic freedom, and gives room for subversion. Given the kind of moral policing that is rampant in Indian society, there is always the danger that a writer may indulge in self-censorship in order to go under conservative radars. There is also a tendency for people to relate explicit writing with the writer’s personality, and to assume that the accounts being narrated are first-hand, which can be invasive to the writer. It is also beside the point, as presumptions about the writer’s personal life then take precedence over the writing.”
It’s actually a kind of sacrifice that female erotica writers make to hide their identity, as they don’t want their close family members or friends to know about it, else society will be a pain in the neck.
I feel it’s time for the women to say “I love what I write and I am proud of it, be it erotica. It’s all about me and my creativity. No one is there to judge.”
So, here is a question: Women expressing their sexuality in the form of writing or any other form of art – isn’t it a way of empowering themselves?
Image source: a still from the movie Ishqiya
A freelance writer, social media marketer, blogger. Loves to write, travel, and bake. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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