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These recent shameful comments of Malayali Actor Mamta Mohandas illustrate how deeply we women have bought into patriarchal norms of women 'provoking' men into assaulting them.
These recent shameful comments of Malayali Actor Mamta Mohandas illustrate how deeply we women have bought into patriarchal norms of women ‘provoking’ men into assaulting them.
Ladies, it is so important to stand up for ourselves and support each other in today’s world. I cannot emphasise this enough.
It’s bad enough we have to defend ourselves against society’s misogyny, the last thing we need is to put each other down when we need help.
Which is why Mamta Mohandas’s comments in a recent interview, are a shame, especially set against the case of the female actor who was sexually assaulted, allegedly at the behest of Actor Dileep.
In a recent interview with Entertainment Times, Mohandas says, “(…) but if a woman gets into trouble, I feel somewhere she is responsible for it. Because if I have gotten into any sort of trouble where I have felt someone has spoken to me with disrespect or in this situation, a sexual assault or a sexual abuse or anything indicative towards that manner, I feel I would have entertained some part of it.”
Now, this little nugget right here is a classic example of what is known as ‘victim blaming’.
When you do this, you are ridding the accused/assaulter of the blame they deserve. You are telling them that, “Hey, it’s okay. You were so clearly provoked. She’s at fault too.”
This coming from a woman – an opinion leader, nonetheless – is problematic because no one would understand our trials and tribulations better than ourselves. Why are women standing up against men staring? Why are women standing up against the wage gap? Why are women standing up against rapes/assaults/domestic violence? Because no one else is going to fight for us. And when we ride the bandwagon of victim blaming, we are making it okay for others to do the same.
Mohandas also went on to say, “I don’t understand the need for a body comprising just women.” when she was asked about the WCC. The WCC stands for the Women in Cinema Collective and has been a strong voice in the case mentioned above.
Here’s why it is important to have a body comprising just women. Most of the authorities and groups controlling the various industries of the world (here: entertainment) consist of men. You cannot expect a group of men to understand the problems of women and neither will they give women a chance to rise to their level. This again boils down to women protecting women. In fact, they will close ranks to protect their own, as the AMMA or main association of Malayalam cinema has already done.
Women cannot fight the venomous patriarchy that infringes our lives while putting down other women. We must stand up for our fellow women and ourselves. We’ve waited long enough for the rest of the society to set things right for us, it’s about time we fight against them. Together.
A tall, curly haired and awkward girl who has a strong inside voice. Love dogs, food and absolutely anything that can keep me stimulated. A pretty chill person, usually. I'm better at written words read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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