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No, it’s not a field trip to some exciting place to visit or learn something new. It’s a trip to that lonely, deserted island where the only accompany of yours is the ‘guilt’.
Guilt is a feeling of worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong or think that you have done something wrong.
Most women are caught up in the grip of this ghost. Blame the ever demanding circumstances or the preoccupied notions of the society. Whatever it is, you are the victim. You are the one who suffers. So, be aware of this before it attacks you.
Most of the time, most of our decisions and actions are based on ‘What others will think and say’ (Log kya kahenge) factor. If you go according to this thought process, then also you won’t be able to please the people around you and they won’t stop chasing you. It’s an endless trap. If you dare not to give an ear to others talk, move ahead in the direction of your dreams, then the ‘guilt factor’ raises its ugly head. Somewhere in your heart, you constantly keep on questioning yourself, am I doing the right thing? Should I have opted for the other option? What if I’ve done it the other way?
For example, this is common for all the mothers, whether they are homemakers or office goers. If they stay at home, they feel guilty of not justifying their education, their dreams, their ambitions. If they are career oriented, they feel guilty of not paying enough attention to their kids and family.
Do you claim yourself guilty? If you are living with this guilt factor, make yourself aware of its consequences also. It affects both psychologically and physiologically.
It’s been rightly said that, “Guilt is a useless feeling. It’s never enough to make you change direction–only enough to make you useless. Guilt is a destructive and ultimately pointless emotion.”
Its the judgement of the people around you that affects you. Stop judging and stop being judged. Stop being guilty. Self accusations and self condemnations will lead you nowhere. People will come and go and drop plenty of advice at your doorstep, but do whatever makes you happy. Because at the end, that matters the most. Let’s put an end to the guilt trip.
Founder of 'Soch aur Saaj' | An awarded Poet | A featured Podcaster | Author of 'Be Wild Again' and 'Alfaaz - Chand shabdon ki gahrai' Rashmi Jain is an explorer by heart who has started on a voyage read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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