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This is an ode to the two feminist men in my life. One who shaped my thinking which probably led me to fall for the other one; my own father and my daughter's.
This is an ode to the two feminist men in my life. One who shaped my thinking which probably led me to fall for the other one; my own father and my daughter’s.
Four decades ago, around the time I was born, people wishing for a son was the norm. But my father wanted daughters and his wish was granted. His reason was that girls are more peaceful and make better children. (It’s debatable if he still believes in that theory of his, after going through the trauma of my upbringing!)
Right from the time my conscious memory begins, there is not a single instance where he tried to stop us just because of our gender. So while growing up, for both my sister and me the concept of gender equality or inequality never existed. Our upbringing can be termed as gender neutral (if I may use the term). Of course our larger family and the rest of the world wasn’t so broad minded so it used to confuse us initially which led to anger, gave way to disgust and finally we settled at indifference.
We’ve come a long way now, fighting our way through inequalities and biases and have known always that our father has our back. The profound impact of my father’s feminist ways is evident in the person I chose to marry.
I am married to a feminist stronger than I am. He believes and I quote him, “I always believed that both genders were equal until biology took over and I realised that the feminine gender is a little more than equal. I cannot switch biological roles with you but for the rest of the stuff we are in it together”.
From lullabies to diaper changes to weaning to cleaning up to night vigils during illness, he has kept his word. The chores were boring, even unpleasant at times but he has kept his word.
The far-reaching effects of this dynamic in our house can be seen in how our little daughter’s personality is shaping up. For her there’s no such thing as ‘Mumma’s job’ or Baba’s job’. And that is what she expects from everyone around her.
As I wish a Happy Father’s day to my father and my daughter’s father, I also hope that may the tribe of such feminist men grow and prosper.
Image via Pixabay
I am a doctor with an MD in Clinical Microbiology, working at KEM Hospital, Mumbai. I am a voracious reader, writer and blogger and believe that words can spin magic. I value truth and honesty read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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