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Aamir khan was recently trolled for posting a candid picture with his daughter for being 'obscene' and 'promiscuous' The writer feels otherwise and reminisces about her own bond with her dad.
Aamir Khan was recently trolled for posting a candid father-daughter picture as being ‘obscene’ and ‘promiscuous’ The writer feels otherwise and reminisces about her own bond with her dad.
“They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps.” — Anonymous
I’ve always believed that behind every strong woman, there is not just another strong woman but also a supportive man. In my case, I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with a strong mother and a wise father.
Being the eldest and the only girl amongst the offsprings meant I enjoyed complete power and freedom as a child. I have twin brothers as my younger siblings and yes, I was the dominant force amongst the three of us. A large part had to do with the fact that I was the ‘apple of his eye’ for my father, and enjoyed his complete support in whatever I did or failed to do.
The greatest gift that my father gave me was never making me conscious of the fact that I was a girl. I was never told that girls cannot do this or that I have to behave a certain way owing to my gender. My home was truly a non-judgemental space for me to flourish, and both my parents never differentiated between my brothers and me. It was only when I stepped into the outside world that I would see the bias, both marked and camouflaged, but not within the four walls of my home.
Recently, there was an online furore over a pic of Aamir Khan and his 21 year old daughter, Ira Khan. This picture made me nostalgic, taking me back to my own precious father and daughter moments. I could easily picture myself in Ira’s place and my dad in Aamir Khan’s place. Yes, we are exactly that father-daughter duo type. I used to sit on my father exactly like the way Ira sat on her dad, Aamir Khan, right from childhood all the way post my marriage, much to the amusement of my father and mother every single time!
I remember my father shooting embarrassed glances at my mother when I would sit on top of him as an adolescent. And, they would look at me bemusedly. But, I was naive back then, and I never understood what was so wrong. After all, I have been sitting on my father while he lay down ever since I was a baby and I would love to sleep on his big belly. That was my eternal happy place.
I stopped doing this only after I became a mother. Motherhood made me grow up overnight. It was the time when I shed a lot of my juvenile ways. Not only did I graduate to being a mother from a daughter, my dad graduated to being a grandfather. Needless to add, the nature of our relationship has changed ever so slightly since.
Coming back to the controversial picture, I loved the picture of Ira Khan atop her father. It depicted innocence, playfulness, intimacy, purity and love. I fail to understand the logic of trolls who sermonise that the picture is ‘pornographic’ in nature and their act, immoral.
All I have to tell them is: Sometimes, we need to step out of our rigid outlook on life and comfort zone, and look at life from another person’s lens. We’d be surprised with our discovery.
I rest my case with this beautiful quote by a noted writer,
“Ordinary father-daughter love had a charge to it that generally was both permitted and indulged. There was just something so beautiful about the big father complementing the tiny girl. Bigness and tininess together at last—yet the bigness would never hurt the tininess! It respected it. In a world in which big always crushes tiny, you wanted to cry at the beauty of big being kind of and worshipful of and being humbled by tiny. You couldn’t help but think of your own father as you saw your little girl with hers.” — Meg Wolitzer
Header image: Facebook/Aamir Khan
Author, poet, and marketer, know more about Tina Sequeira here: www.thetinaedit.com read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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