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I apologise if I have misled you by this title; if I have made you think you will be beguiled by a story of two middle-aged, hopeless romantics finding love.
I apologise if I have misled you by this title; if I have made you think that as you read ahead you will be beguiled by a story of two middle-aged, hopeless romantics finding love and solace in each other.
Please remove all images of Jane Austen style wooing with a dark and brooding, yet occasionally witty, Mr. Darcy.
No, no, no, the following lines are not meant to reaffirm your faith in finding love, no matter the age.
I am going to talk about a real menace that many of us face, day in and day out that is, social media and its unsolicited messages.
The ones where 20 something, 40 something, 60 something men suddenly feel it is okay to tell you how beautiful they think you are, in the first five minutes of the conversation.
And then follow it up with lame pick up lines like; I want us to be good friends.
This morning I received a notification on Facebook saying that Arpan P. (name changed) wants to connect with you. On further investigation I realised that Arpan happens to be in a senior leadership role in a Global Bank.
Great, I think, perhaps he has heard of me as a Leadership Coach, and wants to connect. Although it did bother me that he’d rather connect on Facebook than Linkedin, but then again, you never know where new business might come in from, right?
So, with oodles of hope and an entrepreneurial mindset, I responded to his “Hi” with a “Hello, how may I help you?”
The conversation went something like this.
Arpan: Lakshmi, As now we don’t know each other… has no intention to bother u
Me (thinking so far so good): Sure, tell me…
Arpan: Tell me if I am no intention bothering u…
Me (thinking..hmm): How did you come to know about me?
Arpan (completely ignoring my question): I don’t intend to bother u, but I new to Bangalore…so exploring
Me (completely on alert): …
Arpan: So, I new here and I am only looking for a good friend.
Me: I wonder, why would you choose to connect with only a woman, when all you need is a good friend.
Arpan (again ignoring my question): I think I bothering u. Tel me if I…
u are very pretty.
Me: …
Arpan: Should I take your silence as a “Yes”? It hard taking rejection from a girl this beautiful.
Arpan (perhaps realizing there are unanswered questions): I…I saw ur author profile on Amazon.com. u really r very beautiful.
Me: (Blocked).
He saw my author profile and all he had to comment on was how I looked. I bet he didn’t buy a single book. Although, with that kind of language, I am not surprised.
It escapes my understanding how anyone can see your name on Linkedin, Amazon or any of those sites and then systematically set about searching for you on Facebook, until they find you. And then actually message you with hopes that you will instantly become “good friends” with them, because they asked you to.
Can you even imagine how many “Lakshmi Priya’s” would be on Facebook?
This isn’t the first time I have received messages like this one, and this won’t be the last.
The reason I have chosen to share the conversation here and not within the Whatsapp group of my closest friends, is because I know that most of you are no strangers to attempts like this one.
Normally I would’ve screen-shotted it and shared it with my close friends and we would’ve laughed and laughed until we got bored of it.
But honestly today, I do feel offended.
Offended that just because I am a reasonably successful professional, who is average looking and speaks her mind, doesn’t mean it is okay to text me and ask me to become your friend, by calling me pretty and beautiful, but not actually answering my questions.
I am 37 years old; I will call you out on your mansplaining me and disrespecting me without batting an eyelid.
Did you really think I don’t know what I look like, in real life?
Did you really think I would believe you when you say I am beautiful?
Did you really think I am so insecure and craving for validation that I will run into your arms and be your “good friend”?
Did you really think, I haven’t had my share of being serenaded by good boys, bad boys, Mumma’s boys and absolutely fake boys?
I have two things to say to men like Arpan – first of all I have enough friends, second, I am a writer, you really need to up your game, if you want me to be even remotely impressed by you.
Or wait, on second thoughts, I just have one thing to say;
I am too old for this shit.
Image via Pixabay
Writer. Artist. Dreamer...and a Coach. Hi, I am Lakshmi Priya, but I respond better to Ell.P. A leadership consultant/coach when the sun shines, and a writer/artist past midnight. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Menopause is a reality in women's lives, so Indian workplaces need to gear up and address women's menopausal needs.
Picture this: A seasoned executive at the peak of her career suddenly grapples with hot flashes and sleep disturbances during important meetings. She also battles mood swings and cognitive changes, affecting her productivity and confidence. Eventually, she resigns from her job.
Fiction? Not really. The scenario above is a reality many women face as they navigate menopause while meeting their work responsibilities.
Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. This natural condition marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The transition brings unique physical, emotional, and psychological changes for women.
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