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That moment when you gain a new identity as 'mother of so-and-so' takes some getting used to. But it is precious too! Do you remember the first time someone referred to you this way?
That moment when you gain a new identity as ‘mother of so-and-so’ takes some getting used to. But it is precious too! Do you remember the first time someone referred to you this way?
“Shasya ki mummy”….I turned around to see a mother daughter pair walking towards me repeating the call, “Shasya ki mummy”. Seeing the blank look on my face, the lady enquired, “Aren’t you Shasya’s mother?” I nodded, still looking lost. The lady introduced herself as my daughter’s play school friend and conveyed what she had to. She left, leaving me with my thoughts.
It took me a while to absorb that someone had just referred to me as the mother of my three year old. Till that point my daughter was an extension of me. SHE was known as my daughter and not the other way around. It was odd but lovely in a warm, fuzzy way but it probably needed some getting used to.
This was seven years ago, and this year marks a decade of my motherhood. In all these years, this identity has grown on me and I unabashedly love it. Coming from someone who was big on the individuality thing, this means a lot. And what better day to admit this than on Mother’s Day. It’s my daughter who made me a mother, who made me aware of what it takes to be one. I’m a better person because of her.
From the first time I held her little hand in mine to the time she stroked my hair with those very hands to soothe my hurts, it’s been a great ride. As I take stock of the years, there’s not a single moment that I want to change. From the gurgles and the coos to the sleepless nights and diaper changing, I cannot think of anything I would have be different.
As I say this, a realization comes to me that mommies are blessed with an amazingly short and selective memory. That’s a method God devised to keep them sane! As the child grows older, the memories of fatigue, late nights, aches and pains fade away. And all that a mommy can remember is how angelic the baby was, how bright her smile was or beautiful her voice was.
So here’s a shout out to all the new mommies, take heart. When you are all worn out and the baby is really testing your patience, remind yourself that this too shall pass. And you’ll only have happy memories of these precious years.
Meanwhile, look forward to being known as the mother of your child. That’s one identity you would never want to trade for anything.
Happy Mother’s Day!
I am a doctor with an MD in Clinical Microbiology, working at KEM Hospital, Mumbai. I am a voracious reader, writer and blogger and believe that words can spin magic. I value truth and honesty read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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