I Asked Myself “Why Can’t I Dream Anymore?”

Posted: May 15, 2018

Can young women in India truly dream? Or are their dreams sacrificed at the altar of marriage?

I am a girl in the mid-twenties. I honestly think that being well educated has its own pros and cons.

During interviews when I was asked, “Where do you want to see yourself after ten years?” the very first question that comes to my mind is, “Should I answer with the obvious thing which our society has decided for us or I do have a right to wish for something I have always dreamt of?”

I end up saying, “Taking care of my children, my husband-cum-kid and his not-so-independent family.” This can be a brutally honest answer because this is the system we have established, and this is so strong that even if you want to demolish it, either your family will suffer or you – yourself.

Lady, if you choose your dreams over your loved ones, trust me, you will never be able to cherish that success.

No! No! Don’t take me wrong, I am not against taking care of your family, but I am just raising a question as to why marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities for women only.

I have seen many young spirits who were provided with a great education, only for the holy purpose of marriage. However, when it comes to marriage, the common thing required was, “I just need someone who will take care of my family and me, that’s it.”

That is it? Seriously? That’s when I realised that we all have grown up with a great sanskaar called compromise and sacrifice! If she doesn’t do that, she won’t be considered a good daughter, wife or mother and so many other things.

For girls, each and every relationship brings along lots of responsibilities, especially after marriage. Here I really want to ask all the boys roaming around and looking for educated, independent brides, will you be able to take care of yourself, your kids and your family while your wife is busy chasing her dreams? Will you be able to be an equal participant in this marriage system?

Editor’s note: ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ have been used in the colloquial Indian sense of young women and men looking to marry/considered marriageable by their families.

Image via Pexels

First published here.

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