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A call out to all women out there who are privileged in some way, to lend their ears, hands, should, hearts, and words to those who are not so fortunate.
You are the one who is working in a big company with a big salary package and have a career for yourself. I am the one who is a homemaker juggling through the day with all the household responsibilities.
My friend, please don’t undermine my responsibilities and all the hard work, help me feel good about it and appreciate what I do through the day. The least you can do is stop is asking the question: “So don’t you get bored sitting at home the whole day?”
You are the one who has managed to have a perfect body shape even after your delivery. I am the one who has not been able to shed the pregnancy weight even after years of delivering my baby.
My friend, please stop giving me advice about how to lose weight, rather making me feel comfortable with what I am. Boost my self-confidence by highlighting other talents and capabilities I have. Just don’t keep reminding me that this should be the most important thing in my life – to shed that “weight”!!
You are the one who is the perfect cook in the family. I am the one who has just started her married life and knows nothing about cooking or kitchen.
My friend, help me settle in the family and give me the freedom in the kitchen to cook with my style and preferences. Please don’t rebuke me every time I go to the kitchen and say that this is something which I can never do properly.
You are the one who is married, I am the one who is still single, or maybe wants to remain single my whole life.
My friend, don’t try to push the idea of marriage every time you meet me. You can talk about the other things I have accomplished being single, the world I have traveled, the experiences I had with my ever-changing jobs. Please just don’t keep saying that there is no life without a partner and marriage is the only thing which can complete my life.
You are the one who has kids. I am the one who is longing to have one, or maybe doesn’t want one.
My friend, refrain from bringing the topic of kids in all your conversations with me or in our friend circle. There are plenty of other things which we can talk about under the sky, other than kids and parenting styles. I don’t always have to leave the room feeling empty or disheartened.
You are the one who is from a big city with English as your ‘second mother tongue’. I am the one who is from a small town with ‘not-so-proper’ English.
My friend please don’t correct my English mistakes in front of others, or belittle me because I cannot participate in your discussions in English. Involve me in the conversation by talking in my mother tongue, or at least discuss topics which I can relate to.
You are the one who is technically savvy. I am the one who doesn’t understand anything about technology, or I might not just be interested.
My friend, don’t mock me every time, saying that I cannot live in today’s world without the technical know-how and is good for nothing. Help me by enabling me with the skills and that too without making me feel low about it.
You are the one who has a loving husband, wonderful in-laws and a perfect family. I am the one who is struggling to keep my marriage, adjust with my in-laws, and it’s not the family I ever wanted.
My friend I want you to lend me your ears and listen to my woes, give me your shoulder to cry upon, and advise me when I need it. Please don’t make me feel low by sharing stories about your romantic getaways, all the appreciation you get from the in-laws and you being so lucky to have such a wonderful family, all the time. All I need is a person to talk to who can understand me without being judgmental, be that friend to me.
You are the one who has all the access to safe mode of transport. I am the one getting eve teased or molested on roads, in buses or trains every single day I travel.
My friend stand with me in time of need, help me to fight back and lend me your voice, so that we can make it louder together to stop the nuisance. Hear me out when I need help, and not just walk away every time thinking this doesn’t affect you so why to bother.
You are the one who is happy, cheerful and energetic. I am the one who is struggling to keep head above water in life.
My friend come and talk to me, share and spread the joy and positivity you have. Don’t leave me alone, thinking she is beyond help. All I need is your time and compassion to take me out the hard times in my life.
Author’s note: “My friend” here is every single woman whom I meet, who crosses a path in my life, or becomes part of my life, and “I” is every single woman who is fighting everyday to maintain her entity, her self-respect, her confidence in life. Be the “Friend” that “I” need every day in my life!!
Image source: shutterstock
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An HR professional who keeps shifting between being a homemaker and a career woman. Currently
Lovely post…beautifully written. It was only today morning tht I told my sister that the biggest loss for me after losing my husband is that I have lost my friend. And my sister said its just not you, we all are looking for a friend who will listen to us, couldn’t have agreed more with you and my sister.
Yes, we all need that friend in life……thanks for reading and sharing your feelings!!
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