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Asaram, the self-styled godman has finally been sentenced to life imprisonment till death. It's the survivor we need to thank for her courage.
Asaram, the self-styled godman and now convicted rapist, has finally been sentenced to life imprisonment till death. It’s the survivor we need to thank for her courage.
The self-styled ‘godman’ named Asaram raped a minor girl when she came to his ashram in 2013 to cure her from ‘evil spirits’. He is finally being punished for his crime. But it is important to remember that punishing the rapist is never enough because it’s never just one person even if only one person committed the ‘actual’ crime. We are a part of a culture that enables rape and is present everywhere.
I recently had a friend tell me that rapists should be punished but Nirbhaya shouldn’t have been out that late at night. Rape culture is something that is promoted by us and the people we are close to. That’s why it’s important to truly empathise with the person who was raped instead of just screaming for the death of the rapists. One of the things essential to end rape culture, is by getting rid of this emotional disconnect between rape victims and ourselves. We need to try to truly understand their perspective and support them instead of saying, “Rape is bad, but…”
The girl who was raped by Asaram was so affected by it – it was not just during the rape, but her entire life was impacted by it. She felt that had to withdraw from the outside world. In India, ‘godmen’ are worshiped, and Asaram abused this power of his to not just rape but also threaten the girl. Apart from threatening the victim, Asaram’s supporters also threatened her family. Many of the witnesses were attacked – one of them was shot just 7 km from the rape survivor’s home. After Asaram was arrested, she thought she was safe and she even started going for computer coaching classes. However, the threats started coming in and she had to drop out of school for a while. One year later, when she did go back to school, she chose to study ‘easier’ subjects like computers and home science. The reason for this was that she regularly had to attend hearings at Jodhpur.
All of these effects are just the very visible ones – one can only imagine the mental pain that she went through. It is terrifying to think about! Even now, when the rapist is going to be punished, her life hasn’t magically become perfect. Rape and sexual assault can leave lifelong scars.
The rape survivor showed a lot of courage in standing up to these criminals despite the very real risks involved. Asaram had and still has a lot of power in the form of his supporters and godlike status. Yet, she stood up to him even after seeing the violence that his supporters were capable of. Even after receiving threats to her life and her family’s lives. Even though she had to change everything in her life just to fight Asaram. Even though she had to face her rapist again – the man who had harmed her without a second thought. And all this while she was still really young.
When Malala was shot for fighting for education, the world came together to support her. Well, now we have another Malala, the least we can do is support her during these difficult times. In fact, there are many women and girls in the world who display extreme bravery with their daily acts of courage. And it’s our duty to help them by standing by them.
A very small thing like not doubting the victim can do wonders and enable more women to report rape and sexual harassment. Even if we can’t help every woman in the world, we can at least support the women in our lives because almost every woman faces some form of sexual harassment at some point in her life and that’s not how it should be.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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