Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Why do we need to change our names after marriage like a branded horse, anyway? Is there any logical explanation for this in 2018?
So here is the question that always popped into my mind but failed to get an answer because of which I am writing this, to know your opinions.
Later I demanded the thing that I shouldn’t as it was mine and you don’t demand something that is yours. Right? Wrong. Here in my land, women have attained the privilege of asking and telling or else they are labelled as ‘REBEL’ or some uncultured property. Their thoughts are considered of no regard and they are mocked as being ‘TOO INDEPENDENT’ – well I still don’t find any meaning in this word of being too independent.
Our society follows some rules (Ah, most of them fall under the territory of women. They are born to have that privilege) one of them states that we need to change our name after marriage (though no law states this).
A gentle reminder: I am not writing this for the women who find no point of discussion on this. This is for those minimal ones who dare to disagree.
The whole idea of changing the name is considered ‘Essential’ for marriage as in how will you be branded as ‘MARRIED’ when you don’t have your husband’s name. And we readily accepted this as tradition or culture happily burying the name we loved since our childhood. How beautifully we embraced the new name without even a question mark. We suddenly get a new birth and are now referred as ‘Mrs. Husband’s name surname (his)’ and this becomes our identity for rest of our breaths. My question is ‘Where are you in this (name)?’(Strange yet willingly accepted)
Even many of us believe what is there in the name. It is our inner self that is our true identity. Well, then I point out the same, what’s in a name to change then?
Why aren’t husbands supposed to change the name (Oh it looks funny but it isn’t)? There are exceptions to this who were mocked by society for taking their wife’s name.
The answer I got was because women go to their husband’s house to spend the rest of their lives. So here we agree that marriage is the only part of acceptance for women who find it a privilege to get the brand new name. Also, we believe that men in this sense don’t marry at all because Mr. remains Mr. throughout the life while Miss changes to Mrs. for the rest. I am not against those women who willingly accepted this but please don’t tag this as love. Love never snatches what is yours so please refrain yourself from the idea that the women unwilling to change their name no more love the men they wish to marry or are married to or even that they dislike their spouse’s name or identity or they don’t have tolerance or acceptance or they are too ambitious to have family values. We don’t love someone because of (only) their name.
I am writing this in favour of those voices who want to yell but are unheard. It takes a brave heart to disagree to something that is followed since ages.
Is it wrong to demand something that is yours? (Unanswered, as always)
Image via Pixabay
read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
Please enter your email address