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Marriage may no longer be for keeps. But this is why I think it is worthwhile to work at a marriage - 5 practical reasons to be married forever other than for love.
Marriage may no longer be for keeps. But this is why I think it is worthwhile to work at a marriage – 5 practical reasons to be married forever other than for love.
Marriage translates love into live action. Choosing marriage usually means making a life choice of fidelity and commitment. Being with the same man for thirty years has its downside but the pros outweigh the cons by a mile.
The fact that I love him is the most obvious reason to be married, but many a friend has questioned the floundering states of their long term marriages and I find myself playing counsellor and guide. The reasons to make it work go beyond the morality and heavenly vows.
Staying married is the most practical choice, however unromantic that sounds. Let us see why.
You have grown up together. The person knows your core, your nuances, the youthful you. Nobody can replace the value of that knowledge. As we grow older, our barriers increase and our masks slip into place. Explaining the history of yourself is just a narration, not a shared experience.
This is an area which seems to disturb most people. We have had those crazy days filled with ardour. The order changes and so have we. Passion has been replaced by a comfort zone that feels like home. A new romance will bring passion, temporarily. That too will change. There is no guarantee that the new relationship will last the distance. Our bodies are older. We are older. It is time to get wiser and realise this.
There is a bond created over years of togetherness, after much adjustment. The in-laws, the children, the friends. A lot of compromise and caring has gone into building these relationships. Giving up on your partner involves losing many of these equations.
As we age, the capacity for tolerance and compromise deteriorates. We get set in our habits and behaviour. Reinventing the wheel with someone requires loads of effort and it just seems harder, the older we get. Imagine having to deal with the irritating habits of another person all over again.
This is one of the primary reasons to work things out. As time progresses, we see an increasing amount of tragedy, ill health and loss. The relationship has lasted the distance and at the final stretch, one needs the security and support of the partner more than ever.
Marriage is about companionship. It is about acceptance. It is about being the sounding board and the punching bag. Stay in love. Tweak your definition of love to embrace the sort of deep caring which only evolves over a period of time. Just because you love someone, does not make you immune to temptation but the grass is not necessarily greener out there. If you are with a good person who loves you, you are truly blessed. Watching the silver in each other’s hair is the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. Do not let the threat of a few dark clouds steal the enduring beauty of marriage.
Published here earlier.
Header image is a screenshot from Toilet Ek Premkatha
Alisha "Priti" Kirpalani is the author of "Out With Lanterns" a genre-breaking novel about the discovery of life, love and everything in between and "A Smattering of Darkness" a collection of short and shorter read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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