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Two grandmothers can sometimes be ‘too much to handle’ as this new mother learnt through some hilarious experiences!
It was the happiest moments of our lives, as we welcomed our little prince into this world. Everything felt like a new beginning. Both the families were beaming with ecstasy. Owing to the challenging postpartum period, turn by turn the new grandmas visited us to take care of their beloved grandson and the new mother. As the days passed by, I got to see some really amusing stuff happening around me. Something strange had got into both the ladies, they exhibited a Great Grand Motherly behavior (I so wanted to remind them “Excuse me, Calm down! You guys have become Grand Moms, and not Great Grand Moms!”)
I was always of the opinion that my Mother-in-law and Mother were relatively modern and rational ladies, however this time round I was deceived. But I guess, I knew the root cause of all this, and frankly, I couldn’t blame them for it. Actually, it was just that they were engulfed by the over-proliferated ’40 days confinement period traditions’ post the childbirth. Generally, I am a person who respects old customs and traditions but only when they seem to be harmless and bring around joy in people’s lives!
The hilarious account of our witty tales just cannot be missed:
Daadi: Beta, tie this scarf to cover your ears and head, or else you will get a headache or may catch cold.
Me (In my thoughts): Really? I thought it’s summer, in fact, it is the hottest month of the year-JUNE!
Me(Aloud): Mummy ji, I feel very uncomfortable in this scarf, will wear a cap if need be.
Naani: Make sure the Maaliswaali massages you as hard as possible, it will bring back your body strength.
Me (In my thoughts): Oh Gosh! Should I be screaming in pain to get back my body strength?
Me(Aloud): Maa, you know I can’t take the hard massage, I’ll better go for a comforting one!
Daadi: Drink milk thrice a day, as the more milk you drink, the more milk you will make!
Me (In my thoughts): Yuckkk…I hate milk…I hate milk…I hate milk!
Me(Aloud): Haan ji, but I can have it only once a day, moreover the nutritious food I eat also helps in increasing my milk supply.
Naani: For God’s sake Stop staring at your mobile, it will weaken your eyesight!
Me (In my thoughts): Is it? As if it was doing any good to my eyes till now? So why make it an issue now and what am I supposed to do while breastfeeding my baby, which goes on for nearly 20 hours a day!
Me(Aloud): Maa, I understand your concern! Okay, agreed. I will only pick it up while breast-feeding. (Mommy shocked and I rocked!)
Daadi: Switch off the AC/Fan, it can cause you cold, which might affect the baby as he’s on your milk
Me (In my thoughts): Whyyyyy…I am feeling so hot and sweating like a pig!
Me(Aloud): Mummy ji, I delivered my baby in a fully Air-Conditioned hospital! (Now that calls for some serious thinking.)
Naani: Put Oil in Baby’s ears and belly button, it will keep it clean and fresh.
Me (In my thoughts): Are you kidding me! Oil attracts and retains dirt, it might cause infection!
Me(Aloud): We can’t do that, Doctors have strictly forbidden it, as it might cause infections.
Daadi: Beta, apply powder generously everywhere, it will keep the baby dry all day.
Me (In my thoughts): Please, I beg you! Don’t make my baby look like a white monkey!
Me(Aloud): We can’t do that, Doctors have strictly forbidden it, as powder may contain chemicals which are not good for such young babies.
Naani: Bete ko Kajal lagao, ankhen badi aur sundar ho jayengi.
Me (In my thoughts): Oh no! this is not happening! If this super trick worked, then every single person who used kajal would have had round, big eyes!
Me(Aloud): We can’t do that, Doctors have strictly forbidden it and personally, I too don’t approve of it at all, so let’s not talk about it anymore!
Daadi: The baby is feeling very thirsty, usko paani pilao!
Me (In my thoughts): No way! Are you kidding me, it’s dangerous for the baby!
Me(Aloud): Mummy ji, for the first 6 months no water should be given to the baby, as mother’s milk caters to all his nutritional needs.
Naani: Don’t forget to massage baby’s nose upwards every day, it will help get it into shape.
Me (In my thoughts): Come again? Can it really happen? Then I should better shape my son’s nose like Mr. Bachchan…Sounds cool!
Me(Aloud): Maa, the looks of the baby will be determined by the genes of Maternal and Paternal families, fidgeting with it won’t help!
Daadi: Along with Maalish, “Atte ki loi” is a must to get rid of hair from baby’s body.
Me (In my thoughts): Seriously? I am sure you might have done it with your son, but results are not so great I must say!
Me(Aloud): Mummy ji, I feel it would be a great idea to let the hair fall naturally.
Gradually as I was getting used to this never-ending saga of irrational conduct, I finally accepted that going forward, this is the way life would be. But then there was a twist in the tale. One fine day (or I should say finest day?) I realized that both mothers looked absolutely normal, I mean like their prior selves, carefree, contemporary and just like their Original OWN-SELVES.
They were giving me enough space to handle my baby’s issues my own way. My happiness knew no bounds, after all I found my beloved Moms who were somehow lost post my baby’s birth. However, I could not help but keep wondering and pondering “What’s the occasion? Anything special?” And guess what, to my sudden realization it was the day when my baby turned 41 days old!
Image Source: Unsplash
First published here.