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A few years ago, I became a solo traveller. This year I chucked up my routine media job to become a freelance columnist and a travel writer with my own book coming into print soon.
I began travelling alone, pushed by my husband, only since 2015. And every solo trip has not only invited me stares but strange questions as well. The simple usual ones like…
“Are you married? So where is your husband?” “Don’t you feel scared?” Or the more grilling ones like…”Aww, how come you in-laws allow this?” “Are you separated from your husband?”
These pointed arrows have become a part-and-parcel of this solo-travelling married woman’s life, who has now become a travelogues writer as well, besides being a freelance journalist. Yes, though these questions are part of a normal shower of arrows at me, it doesn’t take the sting away from them, each time they come flying to my ears & mind.
While my husband pushed me to this “liberating journey”, I fail to understand why the world thinks women need a bodyguard or for that matter a chaperone to travel along? If I can go to my office alone (OK, OK I know I work from home now, but I have been going to office for 15 long years!)…if I can go for shopping alone, then why can’t I backpack to travel alone?
At times I fire-back these questions to those who raise their eyebrows at me. A few tender an apology, others pass-me-off as a tomboy whose husband sulks sitting at home while I have fun alone. Some even think I am inviting trouble, since my husband now has all chance and time to wander off to “ANOTHER WOMAN” in my absence!
How low can human mind think?! I wonder and try to hold my tight fists from flying out of control, but then tongue is mostly a free bird to retort. Giggle…
But after a few hours I just let the incident pass off like a loose motion…because I know I gain even from such experiences. I Strongly believe travelling/travelling alone is liberating.
And after two years of extensive solo-travel, I find no joy can compensate the love of discovering new places; being close to history and nature; learning about new cultures as well as write about it….and motivate others to do the same. In short, after each travel experience when I get accolades for my travelogues – both from my readers as well as my chief-editor, I feel like a SHERO!
I was simply a dedicated-to-work tomboy before my first solo-travel experience. Two years up the line I have grown up as a human being having become more tolerant not only to the diversity of earth but also to human nature. And it had to happen, no? After all that’s what you learn when you make friends across cultures, religions etc.
A 17-year-old Buddhist monk who taught me meditation in a better way at Dharamsala. And now loves to exchange mails every time I come back with a travel story.
A 60-year-old Yoga teacher who corrected the way I used to perform Pranayam and is in turn learning English from me online, sitting in Chennai.
A 30-year-old motivational speaker who is trying to teach me how to speak slow, to make myself heard across affectively (Yes, by default I speak very fast. Laughter!)
I have made these and more special & unbreakable bonds across all ages…cultures and regions.
Or may be I can say–I have become more complete within myself…I have become independent in the true sense of the word…and above all tolerant towards fellow human beings irrespective of their origin and faith of practice/culture.
And also a bit FAT too!
Yeah, the foodie in me is no-holds-barred when it comes to tasting all kinds of cuisines at the places I visit. In fact savouring different cuisines happens to be my favourite part of travel, be it solo or with my husband/family.
What more? Out in the wilderness, all by myself has made me rediscover myself which was covered in dark layers of the unknown due to a mundane routine as a TV journalist. I decided to hand over the baton to be a free bird in March 2017 and gifted myself an extensive solo trip, much longer than all in the past, in August 2017. Since then there has been no looking back.
I have grown as a writer. I have begun writing poems again after a seven-years gap! Sharing a few lines here from one of the poems dedicated t0 the courage of my single-parent mother, published at not one but THREE very reputed international platforms. An except from the first poem I penned during one of my solo travels:
When present was dark and future… wrong, Existence was no longer a melodious song. When Life seemed only a stormy… steep hill, Among the clouds – dark and still. Heart was low and hurdles high, Lips longed to smile, but eyes would cry. I paused, breathed and gathered my wings…I did not quit, I am a woman Took the final flight with all my might… I did not fear, I am a woman. Courage propelled my wings when I was hardest hit, I am a woman, but I never quit.
So, what stands in front of you today is an awarded freelance journalist who is penning her first book and already has 16 internationally published poems to her credit, which are getting her rave reviews.
Thus, I urge all you fellow ladies – it is time to stash away some cash, make a budget that suits it, wander away and rediscover yourself! You won’t regret it — I promise! Do share your queries/ experience in the comments column below. Will be happy to answer each one personally!
Images source: Mahima Sharma
Independent Journalist & Winner of 2 Trophies at the Orange Flower Summit & Awards, 2017 (Ex-News Editor CNN-News18 & ANI- a collaboration with Reuters) read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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