Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
The problem of the Double Burden cannot be solved just by women’s intervention. It’s really time now for men to do their fair share.
When women work outside the home, their work inside doesn’t magically go away! Women continue to bear the ‘double burden’ of two jobs – resulting in immense stress as well as lost opportunities. Join Women’s Web & Breakthrough India in our special #Streelink series this month, as women share their stories on the double burden. You can learn more here and share your story.
Breakthrough India is a human rights organization working to make violence and discrimination against women and girls unacceptable. Learn more about their work!
Yesterday, I accompanied my sister to the beauty parlour, since she wanted to get some hair treatment done. The owner, Gauri, is a lady I know since I was in the seventh standard; my mom enjoys a very close friendship with her.
Gauri is part housewife and part beauty salon owner. Since I first moved to this neighbourhood in 2011, I have seen her many times, rushing out of the house at 10 AM after completing all the tasks she needs to.
This is a classic example of what we call living a double life. Unfortunately, It has always been considered that women are the ones responsible for doing the housework (alone) and this belief has rarely been questioned, nor a realistic explanation ever been put forward. Studies show that even when women hold jobs outside the house, they continue to do the bulk of work at home.
Today, more people have a practical approach towards life and believe that women should not bear the brunt of housework alone. Rather, men too should take on their fair share of activities such as grocery shopping or cooking. At my home, my dad cuts the vegetables while my mother is preparing for dinner. Men can do other daily chores too such as picking the kids up or dropping them to school, and helping them with their homework or studies.
However, attention also needs to be brought to another unspoken aspect of this issue – which not many people care about. Accompanying the physical burden is the emotional burden that is placed upon the women of the household. A simple example of this emotional burden would be the fact women are expected to remember where everything is placed in the house. Because if a man forgets it, then it’s expected, but let a women forget where something is… and witness the chaos and nightmarish situation that happen! It’s all her fault! (sarcasm alert!)
Moreover, adjusting your emotions and feelings towards other people is something that is expected of a woman. If a man does the same thing, he will be called caring and conscious, but with women, it’s considered natural and even necessary. It’s high time that people stop expecting women to be emotional sponges for everyone else while making exceptions for men when both have pretty busy lives. It is unfair and mentally taxing on women and reminds them constantly of the expectations that are placed on women by husbands, other men in the family, male employers or just society in general.
Women alone cannot solve this problem. We need men to get involved, to care about the conditions and atmosphere women live in. There are many simple and practical ways in which men can participate.
If something in the house needs to be replaced or repaired, instead of waiting for the women to come up and inform him, it is better that the man himself checks the house once a week and sees if something is up for repairing or replacement. People of all genders need to learn to cook. Men should be alongside women in the kitchen regularly, for preparing any meal, or for simple tasks such as washing utensils or cleaning the kitchen.
To continue, men as parents too can make a difference by modeling such behavior and playing their part in eliminating gender stereotypes. After all, boys learn from observing the men in their lives, so it is actions that talk, not words!
And trust me, whatever task you step up on, it will be worth it just seeing the look of relief on the faces of the women you love!
Learn more about Breakthrough India’s work here: Campaign #Streelink | Instagram | Twitter
Header image is a still from the movie Tumhari Sulu.
Guest Bloggers are those who want to share their ideas/experiences, but do not have a profile here. Write to us at [email protected] if you have a special situation (for e.g. want read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address