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After finishing the discussion, both of them walked towards me. My mother-in-law looked at me and said, “You’ll have to abort the girls.”
I was five months pregnant. My in-laws were extremely excited as they were expecting the first baby boy of their eldest son. Yes baby boy!!
My mother-in-law was always engaged in protecting me from all the crap she called “buri nazar” (some negative vibes). I was afraid – what if it is a girl? I was sure if this happens they will ask me to kill her.
Finally the fateful day arrived when my family took me to a doctor for the prenatal sex determination. I was nervous, in a panic, and apprehensive of the results of the test, and sat impatiently outside the medical room.
After a long time, the doctor arrived and announced,”You have twin girls.” It came as a thunderbolt to my family. For a few seconds my mother-in-law didn’t utter a word. She sat back on her heels. Recuperating from her shock, she took my husband Ibrahim aside and discussed something. I watched my husband listening silently to his mother. He was tight-lipped. I knew of their evil plans.
After finishing the discussion, both of them walked towards me. My mother-in-law looked at me and said, “You’ll have to abort the girls.” I was dumb struck. I felt a stabbing pain. I thought of the tiny faces, hands and legs. My blood ran cold. Gathering all my strength I said, “Mummy Ji…!”
She gave me a stern look and said, “I had already told you I need a boy.” I tried to plead with her and said, “Mummy Ji, I have beautiful lives inside me. How can I kill them?”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. But I knew this wasn’t the time to shed tears. In fact it was the only time when I could save my girls.
I pleaded with Ibrahim and his mother. Ibrahim didn’t even look at me and said, ”Do as my mother says or else I will…” Hearing this I demanded, “What you’ll? Tell me… Just tell me…!” I shouted, crying.
“I will leave you,” he said. How easily he said this! All those promises, commitments and understandings came to a bitter end. I cried thinking how easily Ibrahim left me.
I had to decide between my husband and my unborn children. I knew it would be hard. Even the society could label my children according to their self-claimed ideologies. I realized I would have to deal with this all alone.
With all my courage I decided I will not kill my children. My mother-in-law reminded me of all the neglect and emotional, physical abuse girls’ face in Indian society. But I stood strong with my determination. They left me in the hospital. I cried out my heart.
I underwent depressing isolation. Life turned silent and each day brought incredible hardships. People would express their sympathy for me, and some would say it with twisted shame. At time I was unhappy. But I learnt to live for my to-be-daughters and embraced all kinds of financial and emotional distress.
After three and half months I was rushed to a hospital where I gave birth to two beautiful girls. Seeing my daughters I cried. These were tears of mixed emotions – joy and sadness. I held them tightly in my arms. This was the best feeling in the world.
I felt proud of myself, that I could do this in the face the social stigma. I was all alone that day but I knew I had someone who will call me MOM someday.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
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Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia.
It is amazing when a person turns personal adversity into a calling, and extends empathy to make a significant impact in the lives of other people. This has been the life’s journey of Dr Nalini Parthasarathi.
April 17 is World Hemophilia Day. Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia. She was honoured with the Padma Shri in 2023.
Hemophilia is a condition where one or more clotting factor is absent leading to bleeding. Severe cases can be life-threatening.
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