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Parents who believe that their sons are wrongly accused of rape - wouldn't these be rape deniers who are as much guilty of violence as their sons?
Parents who believe that their sons are wrongly accused of rape – wouldn’t these be rape deniers who are as much guilty of violence as their sons?
I came across an interesting article in The New York Times last month about a group of mothers defending their sons who had been accused of sexual assaults at college campuses. In the U.S., the guidelines on campus sexual assaults had been pretty stringent so far. However, these guidelines have been blamed to presume the accused students as guilty, who are usually suspended or expelled from the college campuses for a certain amount of time. Needless to say, most of the accused are men.
These mothers are on a mission to save their sons who, they believe, were “wrongly accused.” As protective mothers, they had compelled the college authorities to relook into their sons’ charges. Some of them consider themselves as feminists and hold opinions that girls today have misconstrued the definition of sexual assault.
In our own backyard, let us recall the infamous Delhi gang rape in 2012. Malti Devi, the mother of one of the convicts Akshay Thakur, desperately pleaded her son’s innocence in front of the reporters even after knowing that her son was involved in a brutal crime that shook the nation.
Though there is a stark difference between the life of Malti Devi and those of the U.S. mothers defending their sons, there is a disturbing similarity in their thoughts. A thought to not teach their ‘innocent’ sons about respecting the opposite sex; a thought to let them be ignorant of the word ‘consent’. Later on, it was just sheer disbelief or denial that kicked in their maternal instincts to protect their sons.
In India, a total of 9,908 convicts were charged with rape in 2015. A majority of these inmates hailed from impoverished backgrounds. Critics might argue that the thoughts about respecting women become a lesser priority amid the lack of basic amenities and literacy. Well, in that case, there would have been no instances of campus sexual assaults in the U.S.
There is no denying that sexual assault or rape happens irrespective of economic conditions or levels of education. It is wrong to assume that a young boy will learn on his own to respect girls and women. He needs to be educated about the meanings of consent and harassment. Who else can teach him better than his own mother? A mother who protects him from the misjudged notions of masculinity to make him a human.
Image source: publicdomainpictures.net
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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