Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Do you truly love yourself? Could an absence of self love actually hold you back at work? Find out more in this insightful piece from a coach!
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
As part of my routine role of coaching and mentoring key talent in the organization I have come across so many talented colleagues – both men and women (and in most cases women) who are successful, called as rising stars of the organization but may have perennial self doubt and low self esteem.
I have also seen at the same time, folks who have what are called as critical skills –the backbone of the organization but struggle to reach to the next level. These folks may have tons of functional competence but they may not have the chutzpah – the boldness to discuss the next big idea. They may not contribute in meetings even when they have valid points to make, or else, may fumble and not present smartly in front of senior leaders.
If you skim through the surface and probe deeper, why do these individuals behave the way they do? What’s the mental block that is in between them and their dream role, their next goal? You may be in for a bit of a surprise. It may seem like a bit of a confidence issue, lack of assertiveness and basic leadership skills to begin with. But probe deeper; take the help of a few psychometric tools like say the Hogan personality inventory, and Insights profile along with a coach’s observations, as well as introspection on the part of the coachee and you may arrive at the core of the real issue.
The interesting finding here is that they may well not like…or should we say, love themselves the way they should do. On the other hand I have seen that folks who are the so-called ‘high flyers’ all throughout possess this in plenty. At times they may even not have all that it takes on the functional competence front in a few roles. But they succeed due to their optimism, planned approach and some help as they are so sure of themselves, like what they are doing immensely and most importantly love themselves a lot. Other things do happen to fall in place for such folks, with Luck meeting Preparation and Opportunity!
A note of caution before we proceed – we are obviously not referring to narcissistic tendencies of excessive self love here. We are referring to plain acceptance of how you are as a person and as a professional, investing time in your overall well-being on all fronts – mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. This post also does not serve as an alternative to any kind of psychological advice and is based on my coaching experience as I have mentioned earlier.
This is a set of a few practical tips and insights based on my experience on how to inculcate greater self love (obviously there’s tons of literature on this topic ). I have tried to present a few basic pointers which are easy to implement and should help in your quest to succeed. So this is how you can begin your journey towards greater self love…
A few good TEDs and Youtube videos around this topic should also serve as a good eye opener.
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
https://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_how_to_speak_so_that_people_want_to_listen
This video by Tracy Macmillan speaks about the person whom you should marry and that person is the one you see in the mirror each day…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3fIZuW9P_M
Hopefully these tips should bring about a mindset change and drive an individual towards greater success and balance in both spheres of life – personal and professional!
Best wishes to all who want to start this journey of self-discovery.
“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” – Andrew Matthews
Image via Unsplash
I am based out of Mumbai and like most city dwellers my professional pursuits take maximum time . In all this I continue to be an ideas person and examine events , incidents around me by trying read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address