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The pattern of a woman’s life is pre-determined by society, and anyone who deviates from it is considered a rebellious woman. Isn’t it her life?
In my early days, I was an obedient girl who followed what she was told to do, to the ‘T’. When I was a small child, I was told to study well so that I would get into a prestigious University and so I did. When I was studying in University, I was told to work hard so that I could get a good job and so I did. When I got a good job, I was told to marry a good person and start a family…
…And that is when I woke up to realize that I was one among the crores of women on whom this pattern is being imposed.
From our younger age, we have seen this pattern repeated again and again by almost everyone around us. We do not feel anything out of the ordinary in following it ourselves too. The unspoken rule that acceptance in the society is based majorly on this pattern might be one of the reasons that the thought to break this pattern never occurred to us.
A young girl studies well and becomes a well-educated and well-earning woman only to be married to someone to take care of the new family. This is what a normal life of a woman looks like. Can we see any point in her life where she does things solely for herself? Her interests, ambitions and the goals she had built in her life are all abandoned for her marriage when it is expected that she go into a new family.
This generalized imposition on women makes her susceptible to losing her identity, her self-confidence and her importance when she is ripped off of her right to decide what she wants to do with her life.
Not many women get the option of pursuing their field of interest after marriage. The general opinion that a woman is supposed to put the interest of the family in the forefront and push her wishes to the back leaves her with very less options to do it. But when she is allowed to be free to pursue her interest, the amount of value she brings back to the family will be monumental.
Also, why is the woman’s original family put last? A woman who spent her whole life till then in a family is not expected to take care of her family members, but all of a sudden when she enters a new family, she is expected to take care of them! It is not wrong to expect her to show love and care (as it must be expected of the man), but she must not be forced to show love and care to absolute strangers. Instead, if she is left to decide it by herself, she will slowly develop affection for her new family which is bound to stay stronger.
In this pattern, a highly-aspiring woman would want to shift ‘Marriage’ to the end, while a woman in love would want to put ‘Marriage’ just after her ‘Studies’ and before her ‘Work’. A motivated woman would want to put ‘Studies’ again after ‘Marriage’. A career-driven woman would want to put ‘Work’ after ‘Family’.
When you see the various possibilities in which this pattern could be broken, it seems absurd to even have such a pattern in life, to begin with. But this pattern has been strongly inbuilt in social norms, and it looks rebellious if someone doesn’t follow it.
Each woman needs to have her own call in life to decide what step she is going to take. She must not be told about her priorities because, after all, they are her priorities.
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