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The judging of women for their clothes, choices and everything else only proves that the world needs more people who are happy with themselves.
A few days ago I came across some pictures of an actress that were absolutely gorgeous. However most people had ‘better’ adjectives to describe the woman and the specific pictures.
The woman in question? Esha Gupta. The pictures? Shot in either lingerie or the birthday suit itself, ingeniously covering up her assets of course! The moment I saw these online, what struck me most were two thoughts – one, “how fabulous she looks, so confident in her own skin and that super toned bod!” Two – “damn, she looks so happy!”
The comments that seemed to ensue though, were less than flattering. Men commented their disgusting thoughts, while women too shamed her, called her out for being a s**t and vulgar to the core, and there were about 2 percent like me who only seemed to see her beauty and light.
Cut to the evening and while scrolling channels on the idiot box, one of those ghastly ‘movie gossip’ shows was on. I was pretty sure that good things were being said about her fitness etc. Much to my horror, once I increased the volume, the shrill sounding female commentator was actually talking about how the actress’ career was a flop and thus she had resorted to putting up such images to stay in the limelight.
The stupid show went on to say the same about Vani Kapoor and Kalki Koelchin who had been part of an ad which involved changing clothes super-fast – strip, so to speak. Apparently doing something which is so normal and that too without looking anything but normal is news! It’s doing the rounds with the hashtag, #StriptoBasics.
Evidently, being in 2017 has taught us nothing new. We might cry foul at a ‘Godman’ who has raped women and find his followers ridiculous for the level of blind faith they have, but it is people of the same mindset who run their mouths at a woman living her life. How dare she? That seems to be the thought every single time. How dare she look happy? How dare she take off her clothes for a photo shoot? How dare she complain of being molested? How dare she not realise that she is a woman of loose morals and was asking for it? How dare she not see the length of her skirt? Or well… in this case, she had no skirt!
It makes me sick to the stomach to realise the level of hate and negativity people have in their hearts and heads and how easily they roll these off their tongues. As women we need to stick together. How do we expect others to take us seriously when we don’t do that for each other? Pulling each other down as women and belittling each other’s choices is certainly not the way to ensure freedom to live our lives without judgement.
Movies like Lipstick Under My Burkha seem to take us in a new direction but even then, people – female people to be clear – had a lot to say about a woman who gives in to her desires, whether old or young. I heard women snigger and gasp in the movie hall as if what was portrayed on screen was unnatural and rare.
The level of discomfort we have created with seeing people happy and living their lives outside of ‘boundaries’ set by some, is what we need to change. Have you ever noticed that the most comments or curses are hurled at the one who dares to live life as she wishes and does not care about others’ views? This sense of not caring is what is surprising to people. For haven’t we been conditioned since birth to be worried about what others care?
Perhaps if such people redirected their energy and attention into looking inward rather than pointing fingers, they would figure out what really makes them so unhappy to feel the need to talk of others.
Build up yourself first and help do that for others then. The ones who need it. The ones who will make the effort in the right direction with a little help. Let’s smile together and see beauty in each other. God knows the world needs more happy souls!
Image via Esha Gupta’s instagram account linked to in the post
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Soul centric, free spirited and hooked on coffee.
Counselling Psychologist and Educator by vocation.
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