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In working towards being independent women, are we instead becoming lonely, bearing the burden of too many expectations without being fair to ourselves?
Recently I read a lot of articles on ‘Women Empowerment’ and ‘Independence of Women’.
Almost all articles suggested that today’s women should not depend on anyone, not even their better half – for anything. They suggested that women have this inherent habit of being over-dependent on their parents, hubby and in-laws, and they need to overcome it soon.
Since time immemorial, married women have been accustomed to being dependent on their husbands for everything – for moving outside home, shopping, movie, eating out… anything and everything. She keeps waiting for her husband to go out for a movie, just to find him so tired in the evening that he cuddles the cushion on the couch and enjoys the cricket match. #LuckyCushion, I must say!
But now times have changed. We find women zooming the car all alone and swiping the cards at their own will. We even hear the men encouraging the women of the house and shrugging off their shoulders, at the same time and saying – “Go wherever you wish to… I never stopped you!”
All I feel like saying is – “Yes…You never stopped me and you never even cared to look back when I stopped and was left behind!”
I stand by the fact that if every time I were to move out alone, go out for shopping alone, go out with my friends, then why did I marry? I did not marry just for the sake of this society. I did not marry just to keep the relatives and society’s mouth shut and prevent them from saying – ‘Shaadi karlo beta..ab tumhari umar nikal rai hai’.. I did not marry to lead the same life of bachelorhood for a lifetime. And above all, I did not marry to adopt a grown-up child and take up all his responsibilities without expecting a penny in return.
Today women are running in the rat race of being independent, self-dependent and fierce. We forget that in this race of being independent, we are actually being left alone, being more and more burdened and lonely, than being empowered. They are doing the shopping, groceries and all the household chores all alone.
Also women empowerment doesn’t mean to be a Super Woman all the time. To be able to take care of home, elders, children, office everything single-handedly. Women empowerment doesn’t mean to carry the baggage of your life along with that of your family on your shoulders, all by yourself.
True empowerment comes by sharing. It comes by mutual understanding and trust. It comes by not depending on one another but living hand in hand so that one can fall back on the other when need be.
It is important to be independent but not alone. It is important that the society understands that being independent doesn’t mean that one doesn’t need any kind of physical or emotional support. We need freedom from the prejudice against women. We need to ponder if in the quest of being an Independent Super Woman, are we losing out on ourselves?
Published here earlier.
Image source: freestockphotos
I am a mother of a baby boy, a management graduate and a multi-faceted professional mom making home a sweeter place to live in. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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