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The words seemed so innocent and naïve, unlike her. She felt angry. Poems, unfinished lines of love, friendship, dreams stared back at her.
The mirror reflected the face that she had nurtured so carefully through the years. Kohl lined eyes, full red lips and unblemished cheeks radiant with rouge. She checked for any flaws, but then years of hiding had made her an expert. She could conceal even the ugliest of the scars…
The last guest had left. It was past midnight. The house seemed so quiet. She peered into the children’s room. The angelic faces oblivious to the demanding world were her pride. She smiled and tiptoed back to her sanctuary. Sleep, like most nights was alien to her. How could she sleep when it was her soul that was weary?
Restless and agitated she rummaged through the cupboard in search of the diary which had been her companion throughout her metamorphic years. It had been a while since she had poured out her deepest thoughts to her soul mate, her anchor, her keeper of the darkest of secrets and the most whimsical of wishes.
She opened a page and glanced at what she had written a decade ago. The words seemed so innocent and naïve, unlike her. She felt angry. Poems, unfinished lines of love, friendship, dreams stared back at her. She could feel the throbbing heartbeats, the quivering hands, the resonating laughter and animated guileless eyes which sought her approval now. She ran hesitant fingers over the words she had composed, imagining herself and the bygone years. Alas! Where does time really disappear to?
She began flipping through the pages, smiling a little when she came across some absurd incidents that she had written about. A single petal and a leaf, the colors of which had been obscured by time lay embedded between the fading pages. How can she forget… such pristine love! The petal felt wrinkled and unloved. The leaf neglected and brown resembled the autumn leaves outside. Lifeless but still possessed a portion of her soul.
She brought them closer to her bosom, careful so that they do not disintegrate in her hands. Closing her eyes, she could once again feel the excitement, the yearning. A sort of melancholy swept into her being. Pensive thoughts invaded her. She tried her hardest to stop her treacherous mind from wandering back to forgotten times. The mirage her mind had created was long buried and safe among the dunes of her memories. Let it be at peace in its haven.
Pondering about the present, she allowed herself to relax. She had carefully carved her life with what life had offered her. Her life was not a farce. She had decided its course. She was the force, the core of strength of her family. They say good things come in small packages. And she was grateful for all the packages, small and big, pleasant and shabby that came her way.
Through the window she could see the faint lines of sunrise. The world looked golden and peaceful in its slumber. She closed her diary. It was time to move on. She turned and saw herself in the mirror. Hopeful and luminous eyes stared back, eager for another new vision.
Image source: pixabay
former teacher and presently a home maker by choice. avid reader, occasional baker with a melodramatic penchant for sunsets and the beach! read more...
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The plight of Indian women's mental health often goes unnoticed. Co-founders Vivek Satya Mitram and Pooja Priyamvada conceived the idea of the Bharat Dialogues Women & Mental Health Summit to address this.
Trigger Warning: This contains descriptions of mental health trauma and suicide, and may be triggering for survivors.
Author’s note: The language and phraseology used are not the author’s words but the terms and narrative popularly used for people living with mental illnesses, and may feel non-inclusive. It is merely for putting our point across better.
I have seen how horrifying was the treatment given to those with mental illness.
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
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