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What children get instinctively - acceptance - is sorely lacking in adults. Is it too late to learn?
What children get instinctively – acceptance – is sorely lacking in adults. Is it too late to learn?
Last July was the month I shifted to my current accommodation in Hyderabad. I have still to learn about people residing in this 55 apartment building. I see mothers with their children gathered downstairs at late evening, but by God’s grace, as he makes home in time, we like to spend time within us. I smile and nod when I get to see them here and there but still don’t know their names. A part of me tells me that they know me more than I know about them.
Forward to the current scenario. Shahzeel has been super busy this week and today he was supposed to come in at 10PM. I made an attempt to take Mysha downstairs as a child her age will not spend much time at home, looking at just one face.
As I entered the radar of the social circle of mothers, there were talks I could sense but not listen to. I was a newbie. Anyhow, I did what I was there for. I told Mysha to go and play with the other kids. She refused and sat next to me holding her ball tight. Then a friendly hand came towards me with “Hi! I am Ankita.”
“Saumya”, I smiled and gave my hand in hers. “Suna aap UP se hai”, she sat close to me. (I heard you are from UP?) “Yes. Aap?” (And you?) “MP” she said somewhat excited. “Awesome! I miss talking in Hindi to someone. Shoot!” I realized that I have delivered a sentence in English again and switched, “Hindi mein baat karna acha laga.” (It feels good to talk in Hindi). We giggled. It was two states meeting their soul language – Hindi.
“Come I will introduce her to others kids,” she said. Ankita called those sweaty children and they all shook hands with Mysha and left. As she stood up to leave she said, “Bye Saumya. Keep coming downstairs with your little one. She will mix with other kids and will not feel the need to hold on to you.” “Yeah, I think I should…for her.” I felt warm with her hospitality.
“Great. Bye.”, she said again and waved to my girl, “Bye, Aisha.” “Mysha.” I smiled. “M as in mango”, I checked politely. “Oh, okay. Wohi main sochu. Aisha toh vaisa naam hai na,” (Aisha is ‘that’ kind of a name), she paused and I knew the word she fought to say. “Vaisa na..Muslim types.” She completed in a condescending tone.
I gave her a smile as the balance in the world had been restored. A part of me wanted to embarrass her right away, “Yeah. Meet my daughter – Mysha Jawed,” but that won’t be fun. I am waiting for the next meet. Who knew hanging out with mothers can be so much fun?
I can’t label what I felt at that hour. I am used to it by now and I feel no need to explain.The whole ideology is very plain to explain which children will get, adults won’t! We are all objecting to a President of a super nation for a certain ban but have we uplifted that ban from our head and heart?
I learn each day and these acts make me realize how different my life is from others. Who needs a boring life anyway? Its only these kind of conversation(s) which makes you learn. They won’t learn, so you start to – on both ends.
I had to share. Just had to. Have a great day, people!
Top image via Pexels
First published here.
I did my MBA in finance and was part of the corporate world of market research for 5.5 years (on and off). I'm a mother of a beautiful and demanding baby girl. I' read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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