To My Children – You Don’t Owe Us Anything…

Posted: August 16, 2017

Our children don’t owe us anything – we brought them into this world, and we have grown as individuals just by being parents. 

My kids, now you are wondering what is she going to say that we haven’t heard already, isn’t it? May be, I still can whip-up something interesting you would like to hear. Why don’t you stay tuned for a bit… you might like what you are about to hear!

So if you are thinking I am going to start preaching about how high and mighty a mother is and how you are in debt for life because she gave you your life and brought you up with so much of struggle and sacrificed quite a bit to make you the person that you are today, then think again! It’s not about that at all…It’s quite the opposite actually.

First of all, you don’t owe me anything because I brought you into this world; I did it because I wanted to. I became a mother because of you! If you feel I had sacrificed some things in life, it’s because I wanted to, not because you wanted me to.

Sometimes, ok…quite a few times, you would have heard me saying those clichéd dialogues about motherhood and sacrifices and everything, but you have to excuse me here. I grew up listening to all these overrated statements personally and of course our Indian movies don’t leave a stone unturned in portraying the sacrificial mother’s martyrdom. And mind you, you are equally to blame, with some insensitive jibes of yours, for pushing me to saying those abominable phrases which I swore I won’t use when I became a mother. So there you have it, I didn’t really mean those when I said it. I was on autopilot…

If I am a good mom and a better person, it’s because of you. You are the reason I wanted to become a better mom. You constantly pushed me to be a better person, to shed my ego, to overcome my obsessive compulsiveness, to let go and live in the moment.

I also learnt a whole lot of rhymes, more than I ever learnt when I was a kid, then of course, also learnt so much about the Ben 10 avatars, transformers, avengers and what not. I would never have known about those cool new age artists and their beautiful songs which you introduced me to. Hell, I even learnt to put my smart phone and computer to better use from you.

Now that you are old enough, I have to confess that I do feel guilty for not pushing you enough to join those coaching centres and other courses that all your friends and classmates are rushing off to while you seem to be content not joining the bandwagon. But here is the truth, deep down I really do feel that you are better off for the time-being without the unnecessary baggage. I like the fact that you guys know what you want and do not try to be someone you are not at such young age; I am learning that from you too.

I started out as an unsure mother and learnt things along the way, along with you. So we grew up together, so as to speak. I learnt so much, for you, from you and because of you. I just hope that through all this I have guided you well to make sound decisions when the time is right. So, all I wish for, is not a guilt-ridden obligation from you but to be in your hearts forever, minus the guilt.

Published here earlier.

Image source: pixabay

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A mother of two amazing kids and a teacher by profession, I have varied interests.

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3 Comments


  1. Sofia L

    Refreshing point of view. What a lovely, lovely read. Love the fact that you are not part of the bandwagon. I think as parents we want to part of the bandwagon and so push our kids to be!

  2. Swati a dadlani -

    I am a mother of two girls and I really and was a teacher and then the principal of high school. I would say we get to learn many many things rrom our children. Though they always wantbto give fredit to ke, but I always tell them it is you who make us proud parents.

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