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Are husbands little kids that they are 'expected' to throw temper tantrums in a marriage? Why isn't a husband expected to be adult enough to own his part in being a couple?
Are husbands little kids that they are ‘expected’ to throw temper tantrums in a marriage? Why isn’t a husband expected to be adult enough to own his part in being a couple?
Around 15 years back, I remember that I had bought jeans from a mall and given it for alteration. The next day when I went to collect it, I saw that I had misplaced the slip. I actually became quite hyper!
My brand new husband calmly handled the situation and collected the altered jeans. My parents and other relatives were mighty impressed with my husband – that he didn’t lose his cool or yell at me!
Time and again in the past 15 years, I have heard this remark from relatives, my parents, and my friends — that I am really lucky to have a husband who hasn’t ever shouted at me. That I am so lucky that my husband helps me with household chores. That I am so lucky that my husband helps me with bringing up our kids. That I am lucky that my husband respects my parents.
Isn’t that supposed to be normal?
But I believe that Indian women take it for granted that the husband will have temper tantrums, will yell, will not help with the household chores or change diapers of the kids, and hence when men like my husband do, I am considered to be very lucky!
Why is that all men aren’t like this? It is the 21st century, and yet I get to hear women lamenting that their husbands believe that cooking, taking care of the home, or bringing up children is a woman’s job. If a woman works or goes out for a holiday, or to meet her friends, she is again lucky that she is ‘allowed‘ by her liberal husband to do so! Something wrong with the husband’s upbringing, I think!
I am always told that my marriage is successful because I have such a calm husband and I am like really? Doesn’t a marriage work when both the parties work on it?
How many times have we heard of women getting appreciated because they are calm, efficiently do housework and manage job, bring up children well, take care of their in-laws? How many times is the wife appreciated for not shouting at her husband?
Time to change the social norms…
Image source: Flickr, for representational purposes only.
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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