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This true story convinced me that even today, most women are solely blamed for failed marriages and receive little support from family and friends.
A recent story of a turbulent marriage has been on my mind for days now. Without going on to the identity of the people concerned, I’ll tell you the story behind this marriage.
These two college sweethearts got married after they both got jobs. The wife lived with the husband and his retired widowed mother. While they were both working, there were some problems at the man’s workplace and so he left his job to pursue his passion in the creative fields. He was without a job for two and a half years, while the wife managed the household expenses, including the cost for their child who was born a year ago. She also paid for the housing instalments for the house which the man and his mother had bought earlier.
Though they were not the ideal couple in terms of compatibility, they did try to adjust with each other and things were going okay. The man started getting freelancing assignments as he was doing well in his field. Slowly his name started reaching influential circuits and he started getting more and more assignments. After 2.5 years, he also got a steady day job in the same field and spent his weekends on the freelance assignments.
Now the child was growing up. Both the parents were busy so the grandmother mostly looked after the child, his schoolwork, his meals and so on. The grandmother started complaining about her responsibilities once the man got the steady job, saying why can’t the woman take up a lighter job and look after the child, now that the man was earning?
Things took a turn for the worse, when the man started having flings with other women belonging to the same glamorous industry where he freelanced. When his wife confronted him, he refused to change his ways. They started having frequent fights and arguments over this. The mother-in-law and the relatives from the son’s side, instead of asking him to change his ways, asked the woman to adjust. But she was adamant that she couldn’t compromise and he needed to stop being disloyal.
The mother-in-law fell ill because of the frequent arguments and shouting matches between the couple and so everybody decided that it would be best for everyone if the woman just left. The husband was of the opinion that either she needed to accept his ‘carefree lifestyle’ or she had to leave.
Currently, the husband earns almost three times of what the wife earns. Their financial conditions have improved and the wife’s financial assistance is no more required for running the family.
My questions are:
Yes, one might ask, why is she not opting for a divorce? But isn’t that her personal choice? The reasons why we choose to sustain or leave a relationship is completely personal. I do not know why she is choosing to stay but I do feel hopelessly sad for her, and I want her to know that there are people out there who support her. I feel that no marriage is perfect and it requires real effort from both the husband and the wife to make it a success. Then why are statements like, ‘Yes, her husband was a bad person but still she still adjusted and so she had a family of her own instead of a broken marriage’ still considered justified?
I wish I had answers to all these questions and could help her in some way but I do not know how to go about with it. I just wish her peace and the strength to come out of this storm. If you have any suggestions for her, please feel free to comment. I will share those with her.
Image source: pixabay