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What are a modern Indian woman’s expectations from Mr Right? This personal letter reveals how they have evolved over a few years of a young life.
Back in 2013, I wrote with the wisdom of 15 years in this ever revealing life. Today I write with more hope and less expectation.
Dear Mr. Right,
I know that you being Mr. Right does not depend upon you. It depends upon me. Because no matter who you are, you will still be only a person. A person with disgusting somethings and admirable manythings, a person with dreams and dirty secrets, just like every other person. Just like me.
Though I address you as Mr. ‘Right’, I will keep a bar of chocolate and a bandaid on hand, because love is always bittersweet. Exactly like that. The bitterness and sweetness inseparable.
Mr. Right, I understand that parts of you – like parts of me – may be ugly. Yet I look for you with a heart is willing to open up bigger, because the ugly parts will be the hardest to get in through its relatively tiny doorway. But I still want to welcome them.
As a modern Indian woman I realize that it is up to me to decide the line where not your, but our flaws become too much. I hope our willingness to forgive will someday lower this line, maybe even erase it.
When the routine of life then sets in, I will be careful to not be too clingy in hopes of returning to that the initial frenzy of passion. I will be hope to not turn avoidant, afraid that I might bore you if I expressed that I still needed you. I will be careful to listen to how you feel and to be courageous enough to express my own thoughts. To be satisfied in love, I am learning to first be completely happy with myself and with the prospect of being alone, and even lonely. For all this just makes me – and us – human.
Four years ago, I thought that you, Mr. Right, should be ‘perfect’. I suppose I was thinking more of a God than a human being. I wanted you to be everything to me – my unconditionally loving parent, my caring friend, a romantic partner, and even a complimentary brother. But you have to be an entire society, not just one person, to fulfill all these roles. So I will simply ask you to not let go of my hands when my flaws threaten to swallow me up and take me away, especially in this difficult and dangerous journey called life.
Both of us carry a tremendous baggage from childhood but I hope we can unpack it together, little by little, laughing away the embarrassing parts and burying the saddest ones with an understanding farewell.
Mr Right, I don’t know where we will end up. Perhaps ours will be a transient relationship, lasting only a few months, or maybe just one lifetime. I will not ask for time in this relationship. I will only ask that both of us try and love.
Finally, I don’t think Mr. Right is the right name to call you by, for it is frightening in all it seems to demand. When I meet you, I, the modern Indian woman, will just call you by your name.
The ever learning, ever evolving Modern Indian woman
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