Yo Ladies! Stop Being Dependent On Your Spouse, And Start Fighting For Yourselves!

Posted: July 18, 2017

Become independent in every way of life like Sunita does, with the help of her husband. Read on to find out how.

“Five minutes, only five minutes.”
“Come on get up, it’s already 4.30. Please, wake up now.” Sunita’s husband gives a pat on her back.
“Grrr …! Hmmm (disgust and anger). What the hell is wrong with you these days?”
“What dear, what are you talking about? And first of all put on your shoes, we’ll talk while we walk,” he says while tying his shoelaces.

Sunita is stunned over her husband’s behavioural change. What happened to him? Why is he becoming such a health freak in just a few days? And, if he wants to go for a jog, he can go, but, why the hell he is disturbing my sleep? Sunita is disgusted and annoyed, and suddenly she gets another pat. Coming out of her thoughts, she locks the door and stand beside his husband who is looking at her. “Ready, let’s go”  and they both start walking towards the park adjacent to their house.

For the past few weeks, Sunita has been observing changes in her husband’s routine and nature, though she agrees that these changes are for good. He is getting up early in the morning, making up a cup of green tea for her and himself. He started to bring fresh fruits daily, even coconut water, every evening while coming back from office. Adopted the habit of going to bed early.

Earlier he would stick to the TV immediately after freshening up, as soon as he came back from office. But now he sits only half an hour in front of it and later either helps her with the chores or talks with kids.

She is really surprised over her husband’s sudden behavioural change. She even asked him once about what had happened to him. Was everything okay? To which he replied, “Yes, dear, I am perfectly ok. Nothing is there to worry about. I’ll tell you later. Let me first set up the things in the system for myself. Only then I can expect things from you.”

“What! What are you saying? Nothing is making sense to me!”

One Sunday, he suddenly declared to Sunita that she would be joining him for a morning walk from the next day, and for this she has to get up early in the morning at 4.30 am, and they’ll be out for a walk at 5.00 am. And she would have to do this on time, otherwise she’ll be late in setting up things and sending kids to school.

From then to today they are on a routine of an early morning walk. And as it is Sunday today she is in the mood for sleeping for a few more hours, but no, her husband is adamant as he is on the other days.

As they are walking, she looks at him, and with a sigh, she asked him. “At least now tell me what happened? I agree that these changes are not bad, but, a man who is so lazy has suddenly become so health conscious and active. This is really scaring me; I hope everything is fine. Please tell me the reason – what and why.”

He doesn’t say anything till they finish their five rounds. And then he signals her to sit on the bench. Sunita is quiet now and calmly she waits for his response. And then he starts, holding her hand in his.

“I know dear, you are really worried and surprised at the same time at my sudden behavioural change. First of all, I am absolutely fine. Nothing bad had happened. But, if something…(they both looked into each other’s eyes in pain).

You know, in our society, girls and women are raised in a way that they must get dependent on their male supports, whether father, brother, husband or son. At every stage of their life, they need men by their side. And if something bad happens to the man of the family the dependency moves to next level. And in this process women never get that freedom of thought, freedom to be alone, freedom to live, freedom to be independent. Though nowadays things are changing and women are becoming more and more aware of themselves and their rights.

Have a look at you, you are an independent woman in every way. You take care of us, do all the household chores, take kids for their tuition and for sports practices. And believe me, I don’t have any doubts about your capabilities. You are our strength and I am very proud of you. But what really worries me is the incidences of assault to a woman’s dignity. Yes, the current situations really scare me. And when you and Shambhavi go outside it scares me more. The thought that I can’t be always with you really terrifies me sometimes. But, because of my thoughts, I can’t stop you and my children from going out and living your lives. And to bring all my worries to an end I decided upon this solution, which is: make your family so strong emotionally and physically that they no longer need to be dependent on you or anybody.”

Sunita was listening with all her ears to what her husband said. She loves this liberal side to him. Yes because of him she is so self-dependent and a confident lady. Seeing her in thought, her husband pulls her into his arms and continues.

“And to be physically strong you have to be physically fit first. That’s why we are here and to expect it from you I am preparing myself for the same. That’s why past two weeks I was doing the things over which you are feeling amazed and amused. I want you to follow the 3L’s MANTRA.”

What are the 3L’s Mantra? 

Learn

Learn the thing that makes you physically strong. For that, first make yourself fit. Take a healthy diet, read about them and practice to have healthy food in your daily routine. Increase your stamina, that’s why we are here for a walk or jog. And last but not the least learn self-defence.

Self-defence is the weapon you have against all odds when you are in need or someone tries to dominate you. It would be in any form whether Martial Arts, Kickboxing, Karate, Taekwondo or some random techniques. After a month I’ll talk to the instructor of whichever technique you want to learn and practice. If you are capable of protecting yourself then only you would be able to safeguard yourself from covetous people.

Lead

Once you’ll be able to protect yourself, you’ll be able to protect your family too. You don’t need a man around you to protect you from mishaps. And if incidentally, someone needs your help, you will be able to help others too. And later you can teach it to your kids too so that they also become strong and able to protect themselves, especially our daughter Shambhavi.

Live

Yes, a strong woman is a strong pillar of every family. Once you are physically and mentally strong you would feel free to live your life the way you want to live. You’ll then no more be a ’kamjor abla naari’  but a woman ‘jo hai sab par bhaari’.

To this, they both laughed loud. Sunita feels so proud of her husband. She thanks God for everything he had given to her and her family. She prays and starts walking back home holding her soulmate’s hand.

Image source: publicdomainpictures

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Myself Pooja aka Nirali. 'Nirali' is the name I have given to myself by combining

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