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An involved dad can evoke the same deep feelings in a child that a mother can. Why, then, do we not express love for a Dad as much as we do for a mother?
Come Mother’s Day and the market is flooded with gifts, deals, discounts and messages. Not just the market, even social media platform is flooded with emotional messages full of maa ki mamta and pyar, almost a month before the Mother’s Day.
But do we really see that enthusiasm for Father’s Day? I have known a lot of people who realise that it’s Father’s Day when they open the newspaper to read in the morning. And if not that, then at least someone in the friend circle would have posted a decade old, vintage photo with dad on social media, expressing his love on Father’s Day.
Ever pondered over such discrimination? Why are children so enthusiastic about Mother’s Day and not Father’s Day? Why do they take the initiative to cook breakfast for Mother’s Day but skip it on Father’s Day? And why do they plan all sorts of surprises for a Mother’s Day but not so on Father’s Day? They definitely love both Mom and Dad equally but they are more expressive towards mothers.
One of the biggest reason is the involvement in upbringing. The world portrays that it is a mother’s job to raise her child. A dad just acts as a financier and sometimes not even that. According to me a dad is not just a financier. He is not just the one who takes you out on a drive or the one who gets you toys and chocolates when he gets back from work. There is much more to a dad and my father has been the perfect role model for that.
He has been a perfect example of the fact that nobody can take a mother’s place but someone can definitely create as exclusive a niche as her’s and that can only be a DAD. Yes, dad would rarely cook but when he does, he does it with all his intent and soul to make the tastiest curry in the world. However tired he must be after office, he never forgets to ask about our day and share his own with us. Those ‘Chai & Doodh pe Charcha’ after his office used to be the most enlightening sessions for me and my sister, for we learnt how a particular situation could have been handled better. We learnt how to look at the world from a bird’s eye and manage them all like a leader. He always remembered about our assignments. He always knew our weaknesses and never ever ignored them or asked us to move on. Rather he focused on them till the time they turned into our strengths.
He was the one who would run to the stationery shop at 11 in night to get us new pencils, when we fell short of them a night before exam. He was the one who woke us in the morning and made us ready for school, while our mother cooked and packed lunch for us. He was the one who told us that last minute revisions just panic you. He carried our bags to the bus stops and calmed us down through the way for the exam anxiety.
He was the one who would scold us often, but the very next moment calm us down to make us realise our mistakes. Whenever we fell ill, he was the one who asked our mother to take rest after the hectic day and took good care of us through the night. He has been as involved in bringing us up as our mother. He is our one stop destination for all our worries and troubles.
Today when our lives are becoming more and more fast-paced and a lot of options being available for outsourcing the upbringing of your child, it is important to spend quality time with your child. Even if it is for 20 minutes a day, make it memorable. Don’t just make your child smile with materialistic worldly things, make them contented, cheerful and radiant with your experiences. Make it so memorable for the child that they cannot forget it. Sharing emotions and feelings brings your child much closer to you than anything else. Spend time with them and open the doors of your heart for them. Listen to whatever they have to say. Appreciate them for their little achievements and encourage them further.
This is for each and every father who loves his children from the core of his heart but rarely or never express it to them. This Father’s Day express yourself and you will see a whole new world.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
I am a mother of a baby boy, a management graduate and a multi-faceted professional mom making home a sweeter place to live in. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
If her home and family seem to be impacted by her career then we expect her to prioritize her ‘responsibilities at home as a woman’ and leave her job.
The entrenched patriarchal norms have always perpetuated certain roles and responsibilities as falling specifically in the domain of either men or women. Traditionally, women have been associated with the domestic sphere while men have been considered the bread winner of the household. This division of roles has become so ingrained in our lives that we seldom come to question it. However, while not being questioned does give the system a certain level of legitimacy, it in no way proves its veracity.
This systematic division has resulted in a widely accepted notion whereby the public sphere is demarcated as a men’s zone and the private sphere as belonging to women. Consequently, women are expected to stay at home and manage the household chores while men are supposed to go out and make a living with no interest whatsoever in the running of the household.
This divide is said to be grounded in the intrinsic nature of men and women. Women are believed to be compassionate, affectionate and loving and these supposedly ‘feminine’ qualities make them the right fit for caring roles. Men, on the other hand are allegedly more sturdy, strong and bold and hence, the ones to deal with the ordeals of the outside world.
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