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Women's sexuality is a completely taboo topic in our country - how dare they have desires and enjoy sex? Then they must be #AskingForIt!
Women’s sexuality is a completely taboo topic in our country – how dare they have desires and enjoy sex? Then they must be #AskingForIt!
Sex is a taboo topic to be discussed by Indians. It’s an irony that we are the world’s second most populated country and yet shy away from an emotion as normal as sex. Parents never discuss it, censor board shies away, moral police decide the do’s and don’ts. A movie like Lipstick Under My Burkha still doesn’t release.
Women, of course, cannot express or discuss their sexuality freely at any age! Their ‘character’ is judged based on their sexual preferences or needs. Right from the time when a girl is young, she is taught that no boy should touch her but the parents never clearly state what touch! A girl is wary even if a boy gives her a peck, a hug, or taps her shoulder! Clearly, the difference between good touch and bad touch is not stated!
A girl is encouraged to remain virgin so that her future husband ‘loves and respects’ her because of her ‘clean character’! Ridiculous, isn’t it? Nobody really bothers about the virginity of the boy!
Even today, in this 21st Century, most women still cannot express their sexual fantasies and desires freely, even to their husbands, lest they be branded as sluts! A teenage boy’s hormones can be raging, but not a girl’s! A man can discuss his sexcapades freely and boast about it and be labelled as a stud, but what if the woman does the same?
A widow or a divorcee is not supposed to have any sexual desire. She is expected to remain chaste and celibate to prove that she is of ‘good character’, to prove her loyalty. A mother cannot have normal sexual desires; she is supposed to be a ‘role model’ for her children. It doesn’t matter that she is single-handedly struggling and working to give her kids a good life and imparting them with good values.
Marital rape is not even considered a crime. A woman has no right over her own body. A husband is the master of her body.
When will our country stop equating a woman’s character with her sexuality and sexual desires? Is that a character is all about? Why the hypocrisy? Why not judge the men using the same parameters of virginity, premarital sex, extramarital sex, one night stands or it is believed that only men have ‘sexual hormones’ and women don’t!
One more area where gender equality has still a long way to go.
Image source: freestockphotos
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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