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In an age where everyone is trying helter-skelter to look more younger, Laila Tyabji's views on aging gracefully is truly inspiring!
In an age where everyone is trying helter-skelter to look more younger, Laila Tyabji’s views on aging gracefully are truly inspiring!
If there is anything behind a face, that face improves with age. Lines show distinction and character: they show that one has lived, that one may know something. — Karen de Crow
In 1979, a young Harvard psychology professor named Ellen Langer realized something astonishing — and true. “Without knowing someone’s chronological age, science cannot pinpoint how old someone is.” And indeed it is true. It all depends on how an individual accepts and deals with the mental and physical changes when the clock is ticking away. It is important to distinguish between ageing and old age. Ageing is the process of growing old while old age is a phase. Ageing is a universal and lifelong reality, from our first breath to our last breath.
Laila Tyabji, the face of Dastkar for over three decades, talks about the process of getting old in her recent Facebook post. The post starts with, “Wow, I am 70!” Doesn’t this expression sound familiar – the sudden realisation of age and how far we have come in life, no matter what age we are at! Yes, it is terrifying. What is even more terrifying is the fact that instead of embracing ageing, we are continuously bombarded with anti-ageing products and tempted by youth restoring plastic surgery. Ageing gracefully isn’t always easy, but one’s attitude towards ageing is what matters the most.
Read Laila Tyabji’s inspiring post here:
Image: Facebook
As the dust settles down, we gradually realise that accepting the inevitable and growing with it is the most satisfying thing to do. Change is the only constant, accepting it and moving ahead gracefully is the basis of human happiness. As Laila Tyabji says, “I FEEL the same, & life has taken no sudden turns, plunges or plateaus. But little things signpost the transition from middle to old age. Electricians & delivery guys call me Mataji instead of Aunty. Everyone in authority looks very young, & most seem rather ignorant! In turn, the young either ignore us oldies or treat us with nervous awe; annoyingly amazed that one is conversant with electronic gizmos & the Internet, able to crack jokes – in fact in possession of most of one’s marbles.”
If young women have no positive connections to the aging process, it’s going to be terrifying. Instead, let’s accept and help each other to be fundamentally happy just the way we are.
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If her home and family seem to be impacted by her career then we expect her to prioritize her ‘responsibilities at home as a woman’ and leave her job.
The entrenched patriarchal norms have always perpetuated certain roles and responsibilities as falling specifically in the domain of either men or women. Traditionally, women have been associated with the domestic sphere while men have been considered the bread winner of the household. This division of roles has become so ingrained in our lives that we seldom come to question it. However, while not being questioned does give the system a certain level of legitimacy, it in no way proves its veracity.
This systematic division has resulted in a widely accepted notion whereby the public sphere is demarcated as a men’s zone and the private sphere as belonging to women. Consequently, women are expected to stay at home and manage the household chores while men are supposed to go out and make a living with no interest whatsoever in the running of the household.
This divide is said to be grounded in the intrinsic nature of men and women. Women are believed to be compassionate, affectionate and loving and these supposedly ‘feminine’ qualities make them the right fit for caring roles. Men, on the other hand are allegedly more sturdy, strong and bold and hence, the ones to deal with the ordeals of the outside world.
Investing in women means many things beyond the obvious meaning of this IWD2024 theme, as the many orgs doing stellar work can show us.
What does it mean to invest in women?
Telling the women in our lives how great we think they are? That we value the sacrifices they have made? (Usually though not necessarily only – a sacrifice of their aspirations, careers and earning potential in order to focus on family).
No, thank you. Just talk is no longer going to cut it. Roses and compliments are great, but it’s time people, leaders, organizations put their money, capital, resources on track instead.
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